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If you think thats brutal, then you simply havent been rejected enough. Its called self-esteem not others-esteem for a reason, and only YOU can be in control of it. If you are proud of your accomplishments, and where you are in your journey, then dont let anyone change that. If I were abetting man, I would bet that she uses steroids, and is a total biatch. Realize that EVERY SINGLE MAN on this planet gets rejected at some point in their lives, and the more you get rejected the less it stings. Dont take it personal, because it isnt. Congratulate yourself on having the balls to approach her, and next time it may be your lucky break.
Who gave you the advice to pick up women in the gym? That's terrible advice, certainly so with athletes. Most serious trainers in a gym will get incredibly irritated trying to be "picked up" there.
Most women at the gym aren't serious trainers. The gym is a perfectly legit place to talk to women. Women go there hoping to meet men, just like men go there hoping to meet women.
OP, it's not all about being buff. It's about personality. Don't put all your self-esteem eggs in one basket. It sounds a little as if you think you need to be big and muscle-bound in order to attract the women you want, I don't know if that's accurate. You also seem to have very narrow criteria as to who you're attracted to. You might have better luck if you'd cast a wider net.
Is it really a rejection when you weren't specifically asking her out? She was rude as heck, but she couldn't turn you down for something you didn't ask for. You dodged a bullet.
Fleetie is right, You just made polite conversation. She's rude as hell. Not even worth a coffee date. Let her date Godzilla then if she's that gung ho about "huge. jeez."
As someone who is heavily into weight training and bodybuilding, I have an interest in strong women and those who are also heavy lifters. Unfortunately, it's hard to meet women like that outside of the gym (and maybe contests, though based on my experience they tend to stay within their own groups, plus, talking to someone when they are heavily carb and water-depleted is not a good idea at all.) This forum gave me great advice on how to approach someone at the gym.
Yesterday night, I noticed this absolutely jacked woman in the powerlifting area doing perfectly executed deadlifts and squats. Now, I don't go to a gym that produces a ton of powerlifters and bodybuilders, especially female ones, so that was quite the awesome sight. Since she was so focused on her lifting, I didn't want to interrupt her at all (even during the breaks between sets) until she was done. I went on with my workout, and when she was done and cooling down, I approached her, and asked her if she competed. She said yes, and I then said that her routine was extremely impressive and that it's awesome to see women who are dedicated to lifting heavy. I then asked her about her routine, specifically, as to how effective doing deadlifts and squats on the same workout are (I don't do them on the same day.) She responded by saying:
"Look, I am not interested in talking training with anyone, and even if I was, you are way to small for me to even consider your company. My ex was a 230 lb powerlifter, and even that was in the small-end of guys that I am attracted to. Try gaining some size before talking to female lifters next time."
What...the...hell? Ok, I know I am not the biggest guy in the weight room, but I am decently big and strong for my size (5'6", 173 lbs and just performed a max bench of 325 two weeks ago.) I actually felt proud of the gains I was making, but damn, that freaking hurt. Not just from the rejection itself, but if my accomplishments aren't really accomplishments at all. I know I'll probably never break that 200 lb mark, but damnit I train extremely hard, and I don't "use" anything except protein.
Ugh, sorry, I know I shouldn't taken that personally, but that hurt a lot.
A mans reply . Honestly, I think our society has gone WAY overboard on this physical attraction thing and the criteria that goes along with it . It amazes me that a woman (or man) would place such emphasis on how big ones physical stature is, how much one can powerlift, how big ones biceps are, how many abs one can count , how big a womans chest is, how she walks, how he walks, or the size of ones neck ..... I mean, doesnt anyone look at the INNER PERSON to determines ones character, personality, morality, etc... anymore ??! I find being rejected because of physical 'limitations' rather superficial and immature --- I wouldnt want to get to know someone who is so narcissistic , peurile, shallow, and immature as this. Yes , there needs to be some physical attraction but this scenario you posted is way over the top in my opinion and even shameful / meat market-ish if you ask me.
I wouldnt let her comments affect you too much otherwise youll find yourself living for the applause of Others and basing your self esteem on it. , and thats a slippery slope to go down id say. Personally, i place Ones emotionality and spiritual compatibility to mine as the high ranking things...then the physical compatibility and it has served me well for establishing new sincere friendships with the opposite sex.
IMO women who do the powerlifting thing are teetering on the edge of lesbianism anyway. I don't know any men who are friends or family of mine that would be interested in such a type. They have some issues going on for wanting to look like a man in the first place. The OP doesn't need any of that. I think he should go shopping at "the general store" myself.
Aw. come on, seriously? That is a very naive and unfair thing to say. Just because no one you know is attracted to "such a type" doesn't mean others aren't.
I don't like the bodybuilder physique, but I don't fault those who do, or question the sexuality of those who try to achieve it.
I don't like the bodybuilder physique, but I don't fault those who do, or question the sexuality of those who try to achieve it.
I personally work out and try to daily but it usually ends up being every other day. I find distinct benefits of better wellbeing, i sleep better, and feel more alert during the day. Ive increased the size of my extremities from doing so, but I havent done it for sex appeal or to show off ... I just want to be healthy and desire a better cardio vascular system along with increased strength, primarily. I also find it fun and it greatly reduces the stress I carry especially in my neck and shoulder area . If i found a gal who puts the same emphasis on maintaing her health thats great, otherwise, its not a deal breaker ; Id much rather have a gal of personal inner strength and character and a fun/light hearted persona who loves Christ .
Aw. come on, seriously? That is a very naive and unfair thing to say. Just because no one you know is attracted to "such a type" doesn't mean others aren't.
I don't like the bodybuilder physique, but I don't fault those who do, or question the sexuality of those who try to achieve it.
We're not talking about the gal who likes to be tone and have a bikini body here. We're talking about WCW Chyna types. My bet is some "chemicals" are involved too. Women aren't supposed to look like men. Even worse is when they start thinking the are one. That's when a real man has to let them know....BS!!
Oh please, WHO CARES? It's not like you asked her out or anything. You asked her about her routine and she gave some stupid rude remark.
I would of said "Uh ok? I wasn't asking you out on a date, was just admiring your workout. Sorry to have bother you" and walked away like if she was crazy.
She must of been all ROIDED up or something. Let it go, she was purposely trying to hurt you.
Oh please, who CARES? It's not like you asked her out or anything. You asked her about her routine and she gave some stupid rude remark.
I would of said "Uh ok? I wasn't asking you out on a date, was just admiring your workout. Sorry to have bother you" and walked away like if she was crazy.
She must of been all ROIDED up or something. Let it go, she was purposely trying to hurt you.
Yeah, I wouldn't be too interested in a sheman who would insult the OP like that anyway. From the Ops description of his stats he sounds like Matt Serra. He ain't a lil' chicken by any stretch of the imagination.
As someone who is heavily into weight training and bodybuilding, I have an interest in strong women and those who are also heavy lifters. Unfortunately, it's hard to meet women like that outside of the gym (and maybe contests, though based on my experience they tend to stay within their own groups, plus, talking to someone when they are heavily carb and water-depleted is not a good idea at all.) This forum gave me great advice on how to approach someone at the gym.
Yesterday night, I noticed this absolutely jacked woman in the powerlifting area doing perfectly executed deadlifts and squats. Now, I don't go to a gym that produces a ton of powerlifters and bodybuilders, especially female ones, so that was quite the awesome sight. Since she was so focused on her lifting, I didn't want to interrupt her at all (even during the breaks between sets) until she was done. I went on with my workout, and when she was done and cooling down, I approached her, and asked her if she competed. She said yes, and I then said that her routine was extremely impressive and that it's awesome to see women who are dedicated to lifting heavy. I then asked her about her routine, specifically, as to how effective doing deadlifts and squats on the same workout are (I don't do them on the same day.) She responded by saying:
"Look, I am not interested in talking training with anyone, and even if I was, you are way to small for me to even consider your company. My ex was a 230 lb powerlifter, and even that was in the small-end of guys that I am attracted to. Try gaining some size before talking to female lifters next time."
What...the...hell? Ok, I know I am not the biggest guy in the weight room, but I am decently big and strong for my size (5'6", 173 lbs and just performed a max bench of 325 two weeks ago.) I actually felt proud of the gains I was making, but damn, that freaking hurt. Not just from the rejection itself, but if my accomplishments aren't really accomplishments at all. I know I'll probably never break that 200 lb mark, but damnit I train extremely hard, and I don't "use" anything except protein.
Ugh, sorry, I know I shouldn't taken that personally, but that hurt a lot.
Wow...just....wow. Just for your having the gall to speak to her. Talk about massive insecurity.
You really dodged a bullet there, Gatsby.
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I wasn't asking you out on a date, was just admiring your workout. Sorry to have bother you" 
and walked away like if she was crazy.
