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We don't know if he'll cheat again. People often take each other for granted in marriage. Something like this could be a wake up call.
I feel that way too.
No we don't know if he'll cheat again, the crux of what I'm saying is why should she have to stick around to find that out? She doesn't. "A wake up call" would be telling your partner that things are not going the way you want them to, a serious talk. Not going out and screwing another woman. He has used this other woman for his purpose and has used the wife for another purpose, so who gives a crap how 'very sorry' he is about the whole thing after the fact?
No we don't know if he'll cheat again, the crux of what I'm saying is why should she have to stick around to find that out? She doesn't. "A wake up call" would be telling your partner that things are not going the way you want them to, a serious talk. Not going out and screwing another woman. He has used this other woman for his purpose and has used the wife for another purpose, so who gives a crap how 'very sorry' he is about the whole thing after the fact?
Yeah I'm sure it will be scary for her to stick around and she'll hope for the best. As for him, I think some people don't realize that things are not going great in their marriage. It's a difficult thing to acknowledge, mostly because they know that fixing it would be risky and tough for both of them. It's just easier to deny and bury your head in the sand. Then suddenly they're hit with it in the worst way possible and then they HAVE to fix it and deal with it.
Her being 60 doesn't mean she's dead nor does it mean she's relegated to stay with a cheater. If I was 85 I would leave a man that cheated on me, period. I don't get that mentality.
People who have been married this long don't think like that. They overlook their partner's faults just out of comfort and fear of being alone.
Yeah I'm sure it will be scary for her to stick around and she'll hope for the best. As for him, I think some people don't realize that things are not going great in their marriage. It's a difficult thing to acknowledge, mostly because they know that fixing it would be risky and tough for both of them. It's just easier to deny and bury your head in the sand. Then suddenly they're hit with it in the worst way possible and then they HAVE to fix it and deal with it.
I agree that people don't recognize that things aren't on the up and up in the marriage, but you know if you're not happy with how things are going. If you have to consider getting into bed with someone else -- that's a clue.... Just b/c this man wasn't getting what he wanted out of the marriage why does that give him free reign to take the problem outside of the relationship thus creating a whole new problem? Then turn around and expect forgiveness. Who operates like that? IMO, the man doesn't give a crap about the wife once he cheats, I don't know how anyone could say he does.
People who have been married this long don't think like that. They overlook their partner's faults just out of comfort and fear of being alone.
Right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
Well then being married for a long time must mean their ability to see a load of bullsh*t diminishes over the years too.
I'm sure it does but there will be pain for her whether she leaves or stays.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
I agree that people don't recognize that things aren't on the up and up in the marriage, but you know if you're not happy with how things are going. If you have to consider getting into bed with someone else -- that's a clue.... Just b/c this man wasn't getting what he wanted out of the marriage why does that give him free reign to take the problem outside of the relationship thus creating a whole new problem? Then turn around and expect forgiveness. Who operates like that? IMO, the man doesn't give a crap about the wife once he cheats, I don't know how anyone could say he does.
He definitely wasn't thinking clearly. Once emotions and lust gets involved people stop thinking clearly. I'm not saying this as an excuse for his behavior, it's all tragic to me, but perhaps during the affair, it might have felt sort of like a drug addiction to him. He knew it was bad but couldn't stop. He and the mistress should have never continued working together after they ended the affair 4 months ago. Neither of them were strong enough for that.
Well then being married for a long time must mean their ability to see a load of bullsh*t diminishes over the years too.
Absolutely. Being married for a long time does mean you overlook a lot of bs...of course, this is the ultimate so I can't speak to how one should react. Some people are able to forgive and move past it. I'm not going to judge her if she chooses to stay with him...love is a very powerful thing. And the longer you're married, the stronger it gets...no matter what awful thing he did.
I have a feeling with her strength, she will power through it. It doesn't have to be a death sentence to their marriage.
Women always marry these types of guys and get mad when the exact logical things that will happen happens. Petraeus looks very youthful for his age and is a health nut and can still do one arm pushups according to the New Yorker. His wife shouldn't have let herself go like that, I wouldn't want to give it to only Cindy Crawford year after year, much less an old lady. I had a gf for 2 years who is hot enough to be a movie star but I seriously got tired of giving it to her by the end and would think about less attractive women Id rather sleep with. I remember when Hugh Grant slept with that gross hooker when he was with Elizabeth Hurley, women and guys who didn't get any had no idea why he did this but I understand completely.
Petraeus deserves some blame for being stupid by marrying young, most military guys do that then get a piece on the side. I guess she was a naive young girl when she met him but getting married that young is stupid in the first place. I'm not getting married until at least my mid 50s and has to be a woman younger than 30.
I'm not getting married until at least my mid 50s and has to be a woman younger than 30.
Good luck with that. Didn't you just say it's stupid to get married in your 20's? But you want your wife to be stupid enough to do that?
We REALLY need a sarcasm emoticon. I assume (I hope) that's what that line of yours was....
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