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When you first start dating I think it's horrible idea to give woman money to pay their bills or for beauty reasons. She technically hasn't "earned" it and she knows it. So she won't generally appreciate the gesture. That is just my opinion. But let's say you have been dating her for a couple of months and she starts dropping hints of bills being due.
What's the general rule of thumb for giving your girlfriend money?
I haven't read all of the responses.
I am a woman and I say you shouldn't have to give her money. If she has problems with money, give her the number of a credit counseling service. My credit union also offers help with money management. If she can't take care of herself with the income she has, she needs to find another or second job, or she needs to not live beyond her means. This is a huge red flag, IMHO, for you.
Once you start giving her money, she will expect it. She won't have any incentive to try to help herself. And what kind of resentment will that build in YOU, thinking that all you are there for is opening your wallet?
Honestly thanks. I was starting to think I was being a cheapskate.
No, not at all. It sounds like she's looking for a sugar daddy more than a boyfriend. Perhaps she's had one in the past and/or is just testing to see if you're willing to be one. Paying the other person's bills isn't any more a part of a normal dating relationship than it is a normal friendship. In other words, it's something you might do to help someone out in a dire situation on rare occasion, but should never be expected.
If being attractive doesn't entitle a woman to be spoiled, what does??
Nothing. A spoiled entitlement mentality by definition refers to someone believing they are owed something they haven't earned. No one is ever entitled to be spoiled.
I see nothing wrong with taking care of a woman from day one, it's our job.
Uh, no. It's not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01
I like a girl, she's broke, and all my bills are paid, I'm going to take her to get herself fixed up. And the thing is, if I'm paying, I get to chose (to some degree) what I like to see her in to boot so I'm telling her to get her nails painted "candy apple red", or whatever, because that's what color I like to see her in.
It sounds to me like you prefer to date women with significantly less money than you so that you can make payments to maintain some control over them. If you're paying someone to be your girlfriend, she's not a girlfriend; she's a sugar baby or more bluntly a prostitute.
Ugh, I just realized this is a zombie thread. I saw January and apparently forgot that this is no longer 2013. Sorry everybody. I ^&*(#$* hate zombie threads.
I don't understand why so many people here have problems with lending a boyfriend/girlfriend money.
I'm not one of them- And I'm female. If my boyfriend needs money to pay a bill or to pay something else (of course not random stuff like 'I need a new Playstation'), I will give it to him because I know him, I trust him and he will pay me back as soon as possible. As a matter of fact, he has never asked me for money but I would lend it to him without a problem. My boyfriend has lend me money a few times back when I had some job issues. Also no big deal, because I paid him back asap. I think in a relationship it is normal to do these things when it's needed.
BUT obviously I would never just pay my boyfriend's bills, nor would I ask him for money to pay mine or get my hair done. That's ridiculous.
When you first start dating I think it's horrible idea to give woman money to pay their bills or for beauty reasons. She technically hasn't "earned" it and she knows it.
What?
I never took money to pay bills.
And what do you mean by beauty reasons? Are you wanting to pay for implants or something?
And how the heck will she "earn" your money? You make her sound like a hooker!
Date a woman who has a job and can care for herself. If you don't then you're a fool and a sucker.
150% agree with this comment. (150% is like taking a 10 gallon trash bag and over stuffing it with 5 more gallons of trash)
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