Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
But not every women is qualified to have a conversation with a young rich hunk
There's qualifications for talking to 'rich young hunks'? Would those qualifications, whatever the heck they may be, not be used for the ones that don't fall in the 'rich young hunk' category?
There's qualifications for talking to 'rich young hunks'? Would those qualifications, whatever the heck they may be, not be used for the ones that don't fall in the 'rich young hunk' category?
The men pose standing in front of their expensive car or their motorcycle. Instead of telling about themselves, they brag about money. They should pose with their dog or just casually and they should look natural. Stop bragging about what school you went to and how great you are.
But from the woman's point of view, we are too picky. We look for someone who sounds romantic or who writes well but there are nice guys out there who may be very romantic but they don't come right out and say it.
I rejected my husband because he smoked. He persisted and he has almost given up smoking (although it's still something we argue about.) He also likes cars, another reason I wasn't interested, and that has turned out to be a less than perfect situation but there's more to him than smoking and cars. I didn't know he loves animals, didn't know he could fix anything around the house, didn't know he was warm and kind, didn't know he could COOK!! Turns out he likes history, he loves gardening, on and on and on. But he never said those things in his profile--those were good things I found out much later.
Also the men who said they didn't want someone who wasn't financially well off. Some women ended up divorced with not much money through no fault of their own but they get rejected. It is NOT about money, cars and material goods. It's about having some things in common but mostly two personalities that are compatible and have the same values.
And for older men, seek out older women, not young girls who look good on your arm. Almost every man I met had a sad story about a young girl who only wanted him for his money. Over and over and over. Get someone your own age who has similar memories and maturity and who doesn't think of you as an old guy but a best friend. A decent woman is not interested in your money and will love you no matter what.
A couple of thoughts as they relate to online dating:
When it comes to women, it will be your looks that guys will notice first and foremost. It won't matter if you swam form Greenland to Antarctica and back, or had a 3 month internship with the pope. If some physical attraction is not there, everything else is null and void. If physical attraction is there, everything else is just icing on the cake.
For the men, its a little different. The biggest drawback to online dating is the number of activley looking men to women, based on age. Let's take the 20's and 30's demographic. For every single girl with a profile, there are probably no less than 10 guys with active profiles. As a result, the attractive women are bombarded with numerous profiles. What chance does a good-looking guy really have, when your dream girl gets 300 + responses in a single week. The less attractive women, probably still average about 100 + or so responses.
As others have mentioned, there is an issue on many dating sites in terms of paying good money, and expecting some type of results. It's a shame to send half-way legit messages to someone and never get a simple reply back. However, you have to wonder why a really attractive women would consult to online dating. Could her profile be fake? Is she really as good-looking as her pictures suggest? Good-looking women don't need to go online to fine dates. The dates find them.
Let's talk profile pictures.. There are many good-looking men who for whatever reason are just not simply very photogenic. The men who post good pictures, might be posting the one good picture of them from 10 years ago. The ones with shirtless photos look like twigs.
I also hate the marketing these sites use. E-harmony in particular just about guarantees that you will meet the love of your life within 90 days. How can any website make such a bold claim?
And of course, everyone has that friend who has that friend or relative that met someone online whom now they are happily married. Well good for them.
I personally rather meet someone in public, where you can get a sense right away if there is an attraction or chemistry about them. I'm sure there are many happy couples who met offline, that if they would have gone back in time and seen there partners profile online would have simple hit the 'reject' button, for no other reason other than they were just not really "feeliing it."
Last edited by santafe400; 06-09-2013 at 06:31 AM..
An online dating site is a tool. And like most tools, what you get out of it depends heavily on you and how you use it. Too often, people blame the site for their lack of success when really the problem lies with them. Are their standards unrealistic? Do they have a clear idea of who they're looking for. Does their profile do a good job reflecting who they are and show them in the best light possible? IMO, people like to blame online dating for not producing the results they want because that's a lot easier than looking in the mirror.
Online dating can be a huge timesaver if you understand how to use it correctly. For many of us, our free time is very limited. We work, perhaps have children or elderly parents to take care of, errands to run, etc. Sure it would be nice if you could quality single people on your own. But this relies on a lot of luck. You're basically hoping that you and the other person will be in the same place at the same time and actually meet. You're also hoping that someone you know may know someone else. But again, this is a rather passive way of trying to meet someone. And since our free time is limited to begin with, that means less time for circumstances to actually favor you meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right.
While it's true that you can form of an impression of someone a lot faster when you meet them in person, there's also the chance you caught them at the wrong moment. Maybe they're having a bad day so they're not especially friendly. Maybe they're not feeling well. Maybe they're distracted. Or maybe these things are true about you. And there are a lot of potential deal breakers that people that you can't determine just from the first meeting. If I meet a woman in a bar or at a party, I'm not going to suddenly launch into questions about her political views, religious beliefs, thoughts on children, etc. But if you go online, depending on the site, you can immediately find out the answer to such questions. That's a huge timesaver. Now I don't have to bother with going out with this woman for few dates only to discover that we're completely incompatible.
Lastly, I think the reason some people are still reluctant to embrace online dating and quick to dismiss it is simply to feel superior. Oh look at me. I met my SO in the real world whereas that loser had to go on the Internet. In the end, who cares how you met someone?
Last edited by DennyCrane; 06-09-2013 at 08:20 AM..
Remember, these same people you see online are the same people who will reject you wherever you may be. Honestly, everything you listed on there doesn't seem like a negative in my eyes. Also, if your personality/thought process is anything remotely similar to your first paragraph, you should work on not being... lame.
I've got to say that I mostly agree with the OP--not completely, b/c I think that what he listed is the problems inherent in OL dating, not things that make it not work, b/c as someone else said, it does work for many people. It does make you wonder how many opportunities have been missed though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13
A fact I brought up many times here. Most women get a lot of responses, sometimes hundreds. In the 6 months I was on OKC I got maybe 10. I had a real good profile with an up to date picture.
For the average guy that doesn't like to beg it is pointless.
A rich young hunk that wants a family will not have any trouble.
John, I'm thinking you are around my age. You're a nice looking man and I'm no dog I don't think, but my luck wasn't much better than yours. Hot women in their young twenties may get hundreds of messages in their inbox, but that is not the experience for the majority of women and esp women my age. Men repeat this hundreds of times on CD, but it is only semi-true. Besides, I"m willing to bet that of the minority of women who get hundreds of messages, over 95% of them are useless b/c they're either "Hi baby, ur cute." or some guy obviously looking for a ONS, someone their dad's age. Yeah, I had hundreds of offers like that in my youth too, and one of the benefits of aging is that that kind of nonsense has mostly stopped. (Though I did have a truckdriver honk at me the other day lol. I wondered if he was shocked when I turned around to see who it was. Nowadays that kind of attention is a bit more welcome.) Men somehow think that these kinds of offers give the ladies more choice somehow, but once you eliminate those 95% or more, the numbers start to look more like everyone else's and still those women have more choices than women my age do, and we get that men prefer younger women but we prefer men our own age usually, which is why you see so many single older women.
Also, the pickins are much slimmer at our age b/c many are either married, in a relationship, or don't trust OL dating.
There's qualifications for talking to 'rich young hunks'? Would those qualifications, whatever the heck they may be, not be used for the ones that don't fall in the 'rich young hunk' category?
I don't think you can have a UGLY face if you want to talk to a rich hunk
The kind of person who says "she likes this, and I don't know anything about it.. I don't have a chance". Instead of, "that sounds interesting and could be fun to learn". That's a lame and boring person.
To add to it, a person in good shape is not going to want to date an overweight person in any social situation. So whether its in person, or online.. your odds are way against you if you're overweight. Conclusion, go to the gym.. eat healthier and lose your weight.
Also the same if you're short. We can't do anything about that, though .
A couple of thoughts as they relate to online dating:
When it comes to women, it will be your looks that guys will notice first and foremost. It won't matter if you swam form Greenland to Antarctica and back, or had a 3 month internship with the pope. If some physical attraction is not there, everything else is null and void. If physical attraction is there, everything else is just icing on the cake.
This is probably why so many women have boring, generic profiles. Why bother putting any energy into it when 99% of men simply aren't going to read it? Even if they find you attractive they're just going to send a generic 'hi' message without any thought put into it whatsoever.
Quote:
For the men, its a little different. The biggest drawback to online dating is the number of activley looking men to women, based on age. Let's take the 20's and 30's demographic. For every single girl with a profile, there are probably no less than 10 guys with active profiles. As a result, the attractive women are bombarded with numerous profiles. What chance does a good-looking guy really have, when your dream girl gets 300 + responses in a single week. The less attractive women, probably still average about 100 + or so responses.
I restarted my Plenty of Fish profile nearly 3 weeks ago and have received 3 messages total. One from the sites founder, one from a guy who very explicitly told me what he wanted to do with me, and another that just said 'Hello'. So yeah, not every woman is being bombarded with messages.
Quote:
As others have mentioned, there is an issue on many dating sites in terms of paying good money, and expecting some type of results. It's a shame to send half-way legit messages to someone and never get a simple reply back. However, you have to wonder why a really attractive women would consult to online dating. Could her profile be fake? Is she really as good-looking as her pictures suggest? Good-looking women don't need to go online to fine dates. The dates find them.
Same with men. Why would a tall, handsome, charming, intelligent man be doing online dating? To me, that screams out player, and a guy that probably just wants to sleep with a bunch of women.
Quote:
Let's talk profile pictures.. There are many good-looking men who for whatever reason are just not simply very photogenic. The men who post good pictures, might be posting the one good picture of them from 10 years ago. The ones with shirtless photos look like twigs.
I also hate the marketing these sites use. E-harmony in particular just about guarantees that you will meet the love of your life within 90 days. How can any website make such a bold claim?
And of course, everyone has that friend who has that friend or relative that met someone online whom now they are happily married. Well good for them.
I personally rather meet someone in public, where you can get a sense right away if there is an attraction or chemistry about them. I'm sure there are many happy couples who met offline, that if they would have gone back in time and seen there partners profile online would have simple hit the 'reject' button, for no other reason other than they were just not really "feeliing it."
Not everyone has luck meeting people offline. I recently moved across the country and didn't know a soul here, and I tend to attract 'thugs' and 'bad boys' because of my height, build and tattoos so offline dating has NEVER worked for me. The guys I meet in everyday life have no idea I'm educated and can hold a conversation because they look at me and immediately dismiss me based on what I look like. Sooo...online it is
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I didn't know he loves animals, didn't know he could fix anything around the house, didn't know he was warm and kind, didn't know he could COOK!! Turns out he likes history, he loves gardening, on and on and on. But he never said those things in his profile--those were good things I found out much later. 
I wondered if he was shocked when I turned around to see who it was. Nowadays that kind of attention is a bit more welcome.) Men somehow think that these kinds of offers give the ladies more choice somehow, but once you eliminate those 95% or more, the numbers start to look more like everyone else's and still those women have more choices than women my age do, and we get that men prefer younger women but we prefer men our own age usually, which is why you see so many single older women. 
.
