Why don't women ask men out? (hubby, muscular, calls, muscles)
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Walk in with confidence. Talk with confidence. BE CONFIDENT. Its simple. Confidence attracts. Women like a confident man......the best line I have ever used was, I'm never going to meet you again so let me tell you my story....it relaxes a woman when they understand that you have no intentions. I have wonderful conversations this way. It always leads to more in the end...Treat a woman like a deer. DON'T SCARE THEM OFF WITH YOUR APPROACH. A woman knows whenshe wants to talk to you. Woman get "hit" on all the time. So knowing this a guy needs to understand that that the typical appraoch of walking up to a woman and asking her "how u doin" just ain't gonna work....be confident...her loss... that's how i see it. Shoot.. I've gotten more response by walking up to a woman and just saying "HI" but with confidence.
Walk in with confidence. Talk with confidence. BE CONFIDENT. Its simple. Confidence attracts. Women like a confident man......the best line I have ever used was, I'm never going to meet you again so let me tell you my story....it relaxes a woman when they understand that you have no intentions. I have wonderful conversations this way. It always leads to more in the end...Treat a woman like a deer. DON'T SCARE THEM OFF WITH YOUR APPROACH. A woman knows whenshe wants to talk to you. Woman get "hit" on all the time. So knowing this a guy needs to understand that that the typical appraoch of walking up to a woman and asking her "how u doin" just ain't gonna work....be confident...her loss... that's how i see it. Shoot.. I've gotten more response by walking up to a woman and just saying "HI" but with confidence.
Oh RLY. What if you don't have any rational basis for having confidence. I was in that boat for about a bazillion years, and I wasn't willing to try to fake it. Now I have at least some rational basis for having confidence but I am still not hot and still broke, so my basis for confidence is tenuous at best.
I study the pick-up arts. I'm always reluctant to share that about myself because people have their opinions about it but there are ways to approach a woman at a bar which are more successful than others. Here is a video by Mystery a well known Pick Up Artist. He discusses approach anxiety, which is what you have:
There are certain ways to, "open a set," there are certain, "routines," you can learn to approach women to get positive results and minimize rejection. If you want to know more just ask. A good book is the Game by Niel Strauss. It's not a self-help book but instead a non-fiction work about a guy who meets various pick up artist and eventually becomes one himself.
The ski goggles on this guy were just silly. Everything about him struck me as pretentious. The microscopic goatee and whatever that thing on his back was. Then his name is Mystery!? Please, at least pick a real name. I think he is probably talking primarily to people in their 20's, anyways.
Just approach with confidence, smile, and be humorous if the opportunity arises. I really could not decipher what this "expert" was saying in the first few minutes, so turned it off.
It just was not my cup of tea. No disrespect intended. Your intentions are good and maybe others will find it helpful.
I think it's simple for most, fear of rejection. However I have never really been one to be the kind of person where they "had" to be the one to ask. I think it goes both ways.
The issue at hand is that women want guys to approach by giving them cues....fair enough.
Then why do many women complain about getting approached so much?
Simple search of getting approached at the gym:
Quote:
"I hate it! Especially when I'm doing exercises in precarious positions (bridges) or my chest is pushed up against a machine (bicep curl) and you just see the guys turn their heads. I'm there to work out!" —Sarah Becker
"I personally don't like to getting hit on at a gym. When I go there, I go with a game plan and I don't like being there longer than I have to. I'm also not a fan of getting stuck in awkward conversations—which has definitely happened before." —Daisy Magaña
Now, there are probably a fair amount of women going to the gym who WANT to get hit on...wearing lots of perfume, very tight gym clothes, revealing stomach, doing 5lb weight and looking around all the time, etc. But from my 7 years of going to the gym, almost no guy will approach any woman because everyone knows the gym is the place to work out and not to approach women. Of course, this has been ruined by the select few who dislike being approached.
Same with bookstore or shopping. I don't go shopping to approach women. I go there to do my thing and get out. I bet alot of women are looking to get approached at the grocery store, but I would guess it is very rare incidents today.
Plus guys have to deal with things like sexual harassment laws...e.g. staring at a woman's legs = sexual harassment. Or saying, "wow did you see X today? She was hot!" = sexual harassment if a girl overhears you talking to the guys.
Because of these things in society, guys today approach less than guys 50 years ago.
50 years ago, it is ok to talk to a random child you don't know. Today, if a guy did that, you are a pedophile.
50 years ago, it is ok to talk to random women walking down the street. Today, if you did that, you would be labeled a creep.
This is just how society is.
Last edited by techcrium; 03-05-2014 at 11:14 PM..
You're guaranteed to be turned down by most of the women you ask out. Everyone gets turned down. Women who approach men get the brush-off, too. That's the way it is. The people who are succesful are the ones who don't let the rejections bother them. They keep on keepin' on, and they get a few dates. The people who give up easily don't get any dates. That's how it works.
I understand this concept. The problem for me is that up until about 26/27 years of age I had a friend women threw themselves at while completely ignoring me. One night after hanging with him at a local beach bar I went out on the beach, sat down, and did some thinking. I came to the realization that while he was the type of guy women wanted I had to be the direct opposite. The type of guy women didn't and would never want. Thus is the reason I believe (assume?) That I would offend women if I approached them. Not simply approach anxiety.
The issue at hand is that women want guys to approach by giving them cues....fair enough.
Then why do many women complain about getting approached so much?
Simple search of getting approached at the gym:
Now, there are probably a fair amount of women going to the gym who WANT to get hit on...wearing lots of perfume, very tight gym clothes, revealing stomach, doing 5lb weight and looking around all the time, etc. But from my 7 years of going to the gym, almost no guy will approach any woman because everyone knows the gym is the place to work out and not to approach women. Of course, this has been ruined by the select few who dislike being approached.
Same with bookstore or shopping. I don't go shopping to approach women. I go there to do my thing and get out. I bet alot of women are looking to get approached at the grocery store, but I would guess it is very rare incidents today.
Plus guys have to deal with things like sexual harassment laws...e.g. staring at a woman's legs = sexual harassment. Or saying, "wow did you see X today? She was hot!" = sexual harassment if a girl overhears you talking to the guys.
Because of these things in society, guys today approach less than guys 50 years ago.
50 years ago, it is ok to talk to a random child you don't know. Today, if a guy did that, you are a pedophile.
50 years ago, it is ok to talk to random women walking down the street. Today, if you did that, you would be labeled a creep.
This is just how society is.
I hate perfume at the gym, but I think a lot of people just think this helps them not smell bad. A lot of women "look around a lot" probably because they are nervous or bored. 5lb weights, maybe they have limitations or don't know how to exercise or are just starting because they are going light. I don't see many women with stomachs showing, but I personally wear a sports bra when jogging outside because it's more comfortable for me.
I wear spandex capris because it's easier for me to do squats, lunges, etc. I assure you it is not to impress men. A lot of what women wear is actually not to impress men. I can't think of a time recently where I said "I'm going to make myself look hot to men in this outfit", especially at the gym.
I think picking the gym as a place to use as to how women hate getting hit on is kind of a bad choice. A lot of people are uncomfortable at the gym as it is. You're sweaty, you might not be having fun, you might fear you don't look great, etc. I personally use the gym as my "me" time and not as my social time. I think this is why you get so many women who hate getting hit on there.
They are in control of the most prized commodity known to man. Think about it. If you owned something that every woman out there wanted, would you go to them or let them come to you?
Ding ding ding ding! We have an winning answer!
This is it, plain and simple. Boggles the mind why anyone asks the question in the first place.
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