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...are most of you fairly young? Do you think you will still feel the same way in 20 years if you haven't found someone?
I ask because I recently came across an interesting statistic: in the US, the percentage of heterosexual women over 35 who have never had children is only about 18%. And that, believe it or not, is significantly higher than it was 30 years ago.
That means if you reach your late-30s/early 40s and are still single, your chances of finding a woman without children is pretty small. If you maintain your determination never to date anyone with kids, you'll have to eliminate over 80% of women your own age from your dating pool before you even get into questions of mutual attraction, compatibility, etc.
If that time comes, will any of you reconsider?
Out of curiosity, why did you make this thread? It seems to me in reading your post that you are trying to convince guys to date single mothers, but I'm not sure why. I get the sense that you sort of think you're doing single guys a favor by trying to "open up their horizons," but it's being done in a very clumsy and ham-handed way. Basically, you're coming off like "you have no choice but to date a single mother!! HA HA HA HA!!"
I would think that most guys would rather be single themselves than dating single mothers. The reasons have been beaten to death before, but a lot of it has to do with raising some other guy's kid for them, having to be thrust into a father role that you didn't choose, and the basic sense (fair or not) that you're basically doing the woman a favor, to put it bluntly. I would say that guys would consider dating a single mother, but she'd have to be young and extremely attractive, not some random average 45-year-old woman. I'm quite sure a lot of women will get upset when I say that and demand to know "just who I think I am" but that's just my opinion and if you are a single mom who is having no problems getting dates then there's really no reason to get upset at me saying that.
a woman actually gave me this advice over a drink -
women are built for breeding, dont hold it against them if theyve done what nature intended
That's actually a very unintelligent woman you were talking to. I'd reply to her "fine, but men are built to impregnate women and then leave, so don't hold that against them."
Out of curiosity, why did you make this thread? It seems to me in reading your post that you are trying to convince guys to date single mothers, but I'm not sure why. I get the sense that you sort of think you're doing single guys a favor by trying to "open up their horizons," but it's being done in a very clumsy and ham-handed way. Basically, you're coming off like "you have no choice but to date a single mother!! HA HA HA HA!!"
I would think that most guys would rather be single themselves than dating single mothers. The reasons have been beaten to death before, but a lot of it has to do with raising some other guy's kid for them, having to be thrust into a father role that you didn't choose, and the basic sense (fair or not) that you're basically doing the woman a favor, to put it bluntly. I would say that guys would consider dating a single mother, but she'd have to be young and extremely attractive, not some random average 45-year-old woman. I'm quite sure a lot of women will get upset when I say that and demand to know "just who I think I am" but that's just my opinion and if you are a single mom who is having no problems getting dates then there's really no reason to get upset at me saying that.
It doesn't come across that way to me. I think the OP knows that when he was young, he was adamantly against dating single mothers but now that he's older, he's changed. We read a lot of posts on here from men who want nothing to do with single mothers - so I think it's a legitimate question. It's quite possible that many young men who avoid single mothers might end up dating them when they are older. And I don't think it's about trying to make you change your mind - but that there is a big difference in dating a 25 year old woman with a toddler when you yourself are 25 and dating a 50 year old with a 20 year old when you yourself are in your 50's.
Having a toddler myself - I can understand why it would be hard for a young guy to deal with becoming an instant father to a toddler. But I would think that when you are older - and the woman is older and her children are teens or adults - it would be very different. This is all just a guess though - and the OP seemed to be implying the same thing (in my mind, anyway. I could be wrong.).
There's a big difference between guys who prefer not to date single mothers and guys who refuse to date them
I've only met a hand full(and I mean literally) of guys who flat out refuse to date women with kids. In fact, I know more women who automatically rule out guys with kids the vice versa
there is a big difference in dating a 25 year old woman with a toddler when you yourself are 25 and dating a 50 year old with a 20 year old when you yourself are in your 50's.
That's fair, but I guess what I would say is that, even if throw out the "single mother" part of it, you're dealing with a whole different scenario. What I mean is that the guys he's talking about aren't even thinking about dating 50-year-old women, single mother or just single. Know what I mean?
There's a big difference between guys who prefer not to date single mothers as guys who refuse to date them.
I've only met a hand full(and I mean literally) of guys who flat out refuse to date women with kids. In fact, I know more women who automatically rule out guys with kids the vice versa
It's sort of splitting hairs, but a guy might be willing to date (meaning, have sex with) a single mother, but I don't think that most guys picture themselves marrying her. So, if that's what you mean, that if you took an attractive, single mother, would a man be willing to date her, OK. But I submit that he's not intending to marry her.
The problem I found is that women don't let step dad's do any discipline .
And if the mother is not disciplined enough to do the job to begin with, having disallowed the man, the relationship is bound for disaster.
Kids will play the game (like you didn't know that) but if mom is so busy, being their friend, and not their mother, the kids will use her up .
A couples relationship with one another is a chosen one, a bond that requires more dedication and bond building to one another, than to the children .
A child's relationship to their parent is involuntary, and expected to move out on their own taking responsibility for them selves . (generally in this culture)
Too often women spend their time trying to earn their kids respect, rather than the kids working to earn their parents respect. No wonder kids are so messed up with low self esteem , their parents teach it to them by example .
Fact is ,no matter who's fault it is , the lack of respect for elders has made society worse .
But if you hope to govern an already made family and the kids do not respect their elders it's a loosing battle.
To the guys , if you are honest all the time and strait forward with the kids and keep your promises and you do not fold on disciplines to your self or others , you might have a chance but the kids have to learn to earn your respect, if you are worthy of it.
If you have a difference write it down ,you do texting any way , get a good look at what your argument is .
To mothers, your choosing to marry a guy and he is worthy of respect, do not participate in disrespecting even for fun, his decisions .
Your actions and words are the lever the kids WILL use to continue the undermining. They take their cue from you.
Is this another Anti-man thread started by another male poster?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neemy
I didn't see it that way, and I usually do jump to that conclusion with this type of thread. Sounds like a legitimate question, and has a point worth considering. Again...IMHO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 14Bricks
Sounds like it. I'll play along though, no I will never date a woman who has kids. I discussed my reasons why on here many times, so I won't get into that. There are plenty of women in my age group(33) who don't have kids. Also men can always date younger chicks, who don't have kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by upndown
Out of curiosity, why did you make this thread? It seems to me in reading your post that you are trying to convince guys to date single mothers, but I'm not sure why. I get the sense that you sort of think you're doing single guys a favor by trying to "open up their horizons," but it's being done in a very clumsy and ham-handed way. Basically, you're coming off like "you have no choice but to date a single mother!! HA HA HA HA!!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
It doesn't come across that way to me. I think the OP knows that when he was young, he was adamantly against dating single mothers but now that he's older, he's changed. We read a lot of posts on here from men who want nothing to do with single mothers - so I think it's a legitimate question.
Apparently the OP is a Rorschach test of sorts. Interesting.
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