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I guess I was wrong in assuming most grown adults understand the difference. I went on a break from a previous gf many years ago. Neither of us took it as a chance to get with other people. We actually used it to become better friends again. It was a way for us to take things slowly, get to know each other again, and then when the moment was right to re-establish the relationship. Yes, this is going by my own experiences as well as what "most" people view it to mean. I can't help you out if you have never been there. You are free as we all are to decipher it to mean anything that you want. I don't know you, therefore, how you view it is all yours. I don't even need to know your answer. It's not my business.
This whole arguement reminds me of Ross and Rachael.
I've never personally ran into this situation, but it seems like common sense in that some terms should be defined up front.
This is or isn't a "free booty pass" situation......
Then why is she feeling so bad about it/ afraid to tell him? Because she herself knows that he clearly did not view her taking it in that way. Otherwise he would have flat out left her (if he was any sort of man) or he would have did his share of "one night stands" himself.
Regurgitating, regurgitating. Over and over the same replies/ responses. I'm respectfully bowing out. You either see it one way or another. There is no real right or wrong. It comes down to the "individual" and what their set of morals encompasses.
Probably because she thinks most likely he won't take her back if he knows. Again just because something is acceptable doesn't mean others will logically react to it as likely emotions will mesh.
Probably because she thinks most likely he won't take her back if he knows. Again just because something is acceptable doesn't mean others will logically react to it as likely emotions will mesh.
Someone explain how that is not textbook manipulation?
You do not speak for "most people". You are just speaking about your own assumptions here. There is no "most" people in this. If you feel you know what "most people" think in this regard: You are simply making things up.
Is it your claim that there is no way for an average person to have any idea about what constitutes a widely held belief in the population at large ?
If the population at large is taken to be the north-american adult population, are you saying that when you take a random member of that population, there is no way for that random member of the population to tell you anything about widely held beliefs among their peers ?
Based on my own experience, that of my friends, and general knowledge that I have about the society I live in, I claim that taking a (short) break from a relationship isn't the same as actually breaking up.
From reading this thread, it seems that most posters on here agree. Something makes you think the distribution of opinions on this particular thread is very different from the distribution of opinions at large ?
You may be right that I have completely failed to understand how most people feel about this break thing. You haven't tried to demonstrate that I'm wrong. You've just asserted that I was wrong.
Are you sure that it's not your view that's uncommon ? Never mind if it's morally right or not. We're asking about what's the most common way people understand what taking a break to mean.
Is it your claim that there is no way for an average person to have any idea about what constitutes a widely held belief in the population at large ?
If the population at large is taken to be the north-american adult population, are you saying that when you take a random member of that population, there is no way for that random member of the population to tell you anything about widely held beliefs among their peers ?
Based on my own experience, that of my friends, and general knowledge that I have about the society I live in, I claim that taking a (short) break from a relationship isn't the same as actually breaking up.
From reading this thread, it seems that most posters on here agree. Something makes you think the distribution of opinions on this particular thread is very different from the distribution of opinions at large ?
You may be right that I have completely failed to understand how most people feel about this break thing. You haven't tried to demonstrate that I'm wrong. You've just asserted that I was wrong.
Are you sure that it's not your view that's uncommon ? Never mind if it's morally right or not. We're asking about what's the most common way people understand what taking a break to mean.
But it doesn't matter what the most common way is, what the group consensus is. All that matters to is the two people in the relationship. If both view a break just the same as breaking up, that doesn't make them wrong if most people in the world view it differently. All that matters is those two view it the same.
FWIW, I think that anytime one person needs to take a break from a relationship, it's already doomed so you might as well just end it.
Is it your claim that there is no way for an average person to have any idea about what constitutes a widely held belief in the population at large ?
If the population at large is taken to be the north-american adult population, are you saying that when you take a random member of that population, there is no way for that random member of the population to tell you anything about widely held beliefs among their peers ?
Based on my own experience, that of my friends, and general knowledge that I have about the society I live in, I claim that taking a (short) break from a relationship isn't the same as actually breaking up.
From reading this thread, it seems that most posters on here agree. Something makes you think the distribution of opinions on this particular thread is very different from the distribution of opinions at large ?
You may be right that I have completely failed to understand how most people feel about this break thing. You haven't tried to demonstrate that I'm wrong. You've just asserted that I was wrong.
Are you sure that it's not your view that's uncommon ? Never mind if it's morally right or not. We're asking about what's the most common way people understand what taking a break to mean.
In my cirlces, a break means you are taking time apart to reflect, but if you sleep around you are betraying your SO. Breaking up means you are single and free to do what you want. If you sleep around on a break, you are telling yourself and your SO that you are through. OP got pumped and dumped, so now she is trying to rationalize her actions and justify deceiving the poor dude in taking her back.
But it doesn't matter what the most common way is, what the group consensus is. All that matters to is the two people in the relationship. If both view a break just the same as breaking up, that doesn't make them wrong if most people in the world view it differently. All that matters is those two view it the same.
FWIW, I think that anytime one person needs to take a break from a relationship, it's already doomed so you might as well just end it.
No matter how the break was viewed by those involved, not telling him what happened because he might not take you back if you do is manipulation. Please don't be silly and compare what happend last friday on a "break" to not divulging sleeping with prostitutes or gay experiences in the past before you were dating. It is insulting to logical people.
I sense miles of mental hoops jumped through from the onset if this is a real OP and not a troll.
Admittedly speculation, but I've nailed these in the past.
OP was already bored with the relationship and used some nonsense rumor to take a "break." By calling it a break, instead of breaking up, she accomplished two things. It gave her freedom and an excuse to fall back on for her actions, but it also kept the boyfriend strung along with a shred of hope that this is just a "break."
She did her dirty with a guy she was attracted to, but got used. Once she realized she got used, she ran back to the boyfriend. Now because she set it up as such, she falls back on the "break" to absolve herself of all guilt and feels fine about not divulging the truth. But what if she didn't get used? Would she have to end the "break" and officially break up? LOL What a joke.
If this is real and they stay together, I have a feeling he might end up raising another guys kid. She will find some way to justify it and udol and monument will find ways to say the guy should "man up" and raise them.
I sense miles of mental hoops jumped through from the onset if this is a real OP and not a troll.
Admittedly speculation, but I've nailed these in the past.
OP was already bored with the relationship and used some nonsense rumor to take a "break." By calling it a break, instead of breaking up, she accomplished two things. It gave her freedom and an excuse to fall back on for her actions, but it also kept the boyfriend strung along with a shred of hope that this is just a "break."
She did her dirty with a guy she was attracted to, but got used. Once she realized she got used, she ran back to the boyfriend. Now because she set it up as such, she falls back on the "break" to absolve herself of all guilt and feels fine about not divulging the truth. But what if she didn't get used? Would she have to end the "break" and officially break up? LOL What a joke.
If this is real and they stay together, I have a feeling he might end up raising another guys kid. She will find some way to justify it and udol and monument will find ways to say the guy should "man up" and raise them.
I've done this to women.
Breaks are what people in the position of power in the relationship (the person less invested) use to do what they want without guilt and keep their SO on the back burner
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