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And I believe you when you say leaving her would not be your intention. I am just saying a lot of women might not believe you. It is just too risky for them to take on faith that you mean what you say.
He could get a cohabitation agreement--it might provide some reassurance and stability. It ends up being a lot like a marriage, but there are some differences. But again, he really should check into his paternal rights and what the advantages and disadvantages are of marriage, co-habitation, paternal rights if not married, etc. He should also check with his employer as well for medical insurance and such for potential children. If the woman he has kids with has to leave work due to a difficult pregnancy, not only will she be uninsured, so will the babies (and if the woman has a difficult pregnancy, there is a good chance there might be health issues with a child as well). Although I suppose he could pay for something though the state now with the new health insurance mandates.
Anyway, again my point is do your research first. Maybe even talk with a family lawyer first. It might cost a few hundred bucks, but could save heart ache in the end.
I'm not a big fan of marriage, most men I know have been burned by it and it wrecks of negativity. Not saying all marriages are a bust, but when they do go bust (and a good percentage do) it is emotionally draining.
With that said, I want to have children. Perhaps in the next 2-3 years, up until this point I was running around avoiding LTRs and now I kind of want to get into one, with the right woman for me of course.
Will it be difficult to find a woman that wants to have children without marriage? This does not mean I will just have children with her and then leave her. It means raising a family, living together, being together exclusively and growing old together. Can this be accomplished without a piece of paper?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ7
I wouldn't do that to a woman, it's not fair. I wouldn't string her along and eventually get her pregnant all with the idea of never marrying her after I told her I would.
That whole lesbian mother/agreement is just not for me.
Yes, divorce.
I'm not so sure I believe in monogamous relationships, even once married.
So, which do you want, OP?
First you tell us you want a lifelong exclusive commitment (I.e., monogamy). Then you back pedal and say you don't believe in monogamy.
Also, FYI, I know an awful lot of polyamorous folks who are married. It's possible to be married and also ethically non-monogamous.
Here's an idea...try it. If it is a major priority that you father offspring, and an equally major priotity that you not marry the mother of said progeny, go ahead...hop to it. Give it a whirl. You posed the question in your original post, "Will it be difficult to find a woman who will buy into this arrangement?" You got quite a few answers of, "Yes, probably," and didn't seem to like that. So, hey, go for it...see for yourself if it's a proposition easily accomplished. Because, really, if it's something you want, what other choice have you got? But arguing about whether or not it's FAIR that it might be hard to find a like minded co reproducer for a dozen or more pages is just dumb.
You can have kids without being married. If you're single you'll have to figure out a way ahead of time to handle every single thing that comes up, and if you are in a relationship, you have to count on the fact that your partner may walk out at anytime and therefore once again, repeat step above. It can be done and though it's not always ideal, it works. More people are single or at least unmarried than ever before and it's going to keep being that way. All marriage is anyway is a piece of paper that makes it harder for a partner to walk out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ7
Precisely,
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osito
Being married does not make anyone any more stable than being single.
Which is it, marriage makes it tougher to walk out or not? If it's tougher to walk out, that means fewer breakups and therefore more stability.
I have seen it happen before, but women seem to get custody and then teach their
kids that their father is worthless and never wants to see them, while in
reality the father wants to but the ex has some court order on it to where he
can't. This discussion belongs in a different thread though.
Well, I mentioned these things because you were talking about having kids out of wedlock, and I'm giving you an example of why that's not a good idea.
And I believe you when you say leaving her would not be your intention. I am just saying a lot of women might not believe you. It is just too risky for them to take on faith that you mean what you say.
Why should OP take on faith that his hypothetical future SO won't leave HIM once she has the divorce mutually-assured-destruction switch in her control??
Your post is the epitome of the way our culture operates: woman=good, man=bad.
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I must be living my life under a rock. Thanks for pointing that out 
