Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well yes, that is if others in the household actually cooperated with you and didn't undo all you did. "Oh honey you worked so hard today, let me empty the bagless vacuum for you. See? I can do things too. Ooops!!! Oh dear, all that dust and dirt is all over the carpet again. Yuck. I got to go wash my hands, honey, dear, can you just vacuum that up for me?"
Can I get an Amen!
Im not a SAHS, but I have 2 grown kids living me due to the economy and grandkids over on the weekend. It is constant picking up, washing dishes, sweeping up dirt tracked in, washing closthes. I can clean a room, go pee and come back and you cant tell I cleaned a thing.
Sounds like it. I just love it when I sort out all the laundry only to have someone just throw more stuff in there.
For those who are wondering what is the big deal with sorting laundry, when you're trying to get it done, its so easy to just dump it in the machine and turn it on without having to stand there and go through it all AGAIN!
I can't imagine staying home and not having kids to take care of. I would think that the stay at home spouse should keep the house clean, prepare meals, maybe do the yard work, take care of all errands and things like car maintenance, Pretty much do everything it takes to keep the house running. Volunteering would be a nice thing to do. I would feel too guilty to spend all my time on hobbies, etc. while my spouse was out working.
Hmmm no thanks!
I can't take someone who has no ambition whatsoever. I don't care if I am a millionaire. I want someone who actually has goals and some drive!
I can't imagine staying home and not having kids to take care of. I would think that the stay at home spouse should keep the house clean, prepare meals, maybe do the yard work, take care of all errands and things like car maintenance, Pretty much do everything it takes to keep the house running. Volunteering would be a nice thing to do. I would feel too guilty to spend all my time on hobbies, etc. while my spouse was out working.
But it's not unusual for the husbands to prefer it that way, since everything is taken care of. If that is the case there is nothing to feel guilty about.
Maybe people just have different ideas and standards regarding what to do in the home. I think the person at home should do everything including home improvements. They should learn to fix things and do outdoor work like sealing the deck and trimming hedges. If you live in an apartment or condo there is less work and maintenance, so that could be a different story.
I have been married to my husband for almost five years, and in that time I have always worked full time, and usually made more money than my husband. This put a bit of a strain on our relationship, because I always felt like he didn't see a need to increase his financial contribution to our family since I was always able to make enough to support us. My husband isn't lazy, but he has taken his time to find a career that he loves, and never saw an urgency to make more money than his entry level positions allowed.
Recently, we decided together that he wanted to take on the primary role of "bread winner" in our marriage, and I equally wanted to start learning how to effectively take care of our household. We always said that once we had kids, I would stay home to raise them. But we realized that at the rate things were going, we would still be dependent upon my income when the time came to have a baby, and therefor we wouldn't be able to make that transition. So we decided to get into the swing of things earlier than planned.
I definitely think that if one spouse is staying at home, that spouse should be pulling their weight, so to speak, around the house. That's not to say that the working spouse should never pitch in. My husband loves to cook, and he still prepares meals for us once in a while. Plus he still take out the garbage and handles some of the more daunting household tasks as they come up. But coming home to a fairly neat and clean house, with the ability to relax after working all day has greatly lowered his stress levels. Not to mention, when we were both working, our daily schedules rarely lined up in such a way that allowed us to spend much time with each other. Now, we spend every evening just visiting with each other. Household chores are done, dinner has already been made (usually), and there is time for us to enjoy each other's company.
We are not a wealthy couple. We have actually had to tighten our budget in order to make this happen. But it's one of the best decisions we've ever made, and we're excited about what the future holds for us both.
Last edited by JustJulia; 05-20-2011 at 07:00 AM..
Reason: Sorry, you can't link to your blog (self-promotion).
I haven't read all the posts here so I may be repeating stuff but I am a 'SAHS' through circumstances more than desire.
I am 41 and we decided not to have children for a whole heap of reasons I'm not going into and I haven't worked for the last 6 years. I tell people when I meet them that I retired.
My husband has a job that entails a lot of travel and we have moved around a little. We moved from London to Hong Kong and at that time the visa restrictions were that I could not work unless a company independently sponsored my work visa. I worked in sales and marketing for a fashion company in the UK and there was no chance of this happening. I went to day classes to learn to cook chinese, thai and Indian food. I started to learn basic Cantonese and volunteered at a local animal shelter. Husband travelled all over Asia so the flexibility of me not working meant I could travel with him. Sometimes we would meet up in the evenings sometimes he had client things and I would go out alone. No big deal. I was used to traveling alone in the job I had in the UK.
We moved after 3 years to Singapore where technically I could work but the pay was so low it didn't make any sense. It was hard to get a well paying job if you didn't speak Mandarin & English and as hubby was still traveling I still had the flexibility we liked.
We moved to the US at the end of last year for 2 years. I can apply for a permit to work on the back of my husbands visa but it takes a while and who is going to employ me when they know I'm only going to be around for another year or so. Husband gets lots of holiday and we carried some over so if I worked it would have an impact on our travels too !!
Since Christmas we have been to Washington, Philly, Italy, Switzerland, London and Toronto. I have organized trips to Hawaii, California, Florida and Europe for later this year.
After a year I started to do a degree online which I will finish this Sept - BS in Sociology. I start an English and German BA in October to formalise the German I need to learn for our eventual move to Switzerland. This gave my days some structure and I felt I wasn't 'wasting' time. There was also the chance that we may move to Japan where I could work but it was nearly impossible to get the work permit without a BA degree. So I thought I would take the opportunity. It also stopped my brain from turning to mush !!
If I do apply for a job in the future and the question of what have I done for the last however many years comes up.... I can give them a list !!
It was hard at first but once I had decided that my 'job' now was to look after the home then thats what I did. I cook every meal we eat from scratch. Even my bread. I plan all our trips and usually book them all myself (apart from places like Tibet and Burma where it would of been impossible), husband comes home to a meal every evening, there is never more than half a load of laundry to be done. My house is always spotless and husband knows he can bring people back with a couple of mins notice and won't be embarrassed to find the place a mess. I get to the gym 4 times a week, have time to get my nails done, have a golf lesson, chat on skype to relatives in Europe and am available to go on business trips at short notice.
The finances could of been a problem and I have seen this with other couples in similar situations to us. SO what we agreed was that I would have my own 'pocket money' account. I get a set amount every month and that is mine to spend on shoes, hair etc etc - whatever I need. All the household things come out of the joint account. That way I don't feel like I am just spending husband's money. It works well for us and life is not too bad !!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Just Became A Stay At Home Wife
