if she/he says he has genital herpes... deal breaker? (Christian, girl)
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Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,352 posts, read 2,823,495 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin
It's probably best she told him via text, considering how angry he got. He was afraid of having kissed her. You can't even catch HSV2 from kissing. Odd.
Considering your reaction, and considering the reaction she has probably gotten from dozens of other insensitive jerks for the last 10 + years, my guess is that she decided to avoid yet another ugly scene, being insulted, screamed at, or called horrible things and decided to protect her own emotional health by doing it through text. I completely understand where she was coming from and she was completely in the right.
This is complete BS, and I am not going to stand for it. Assuming I would insult or scream at her for telling me in person is a complete lie, and makes some pretty ****ed up assumptions about my character by yourself.
If you want to be a Herps defender, go ahead, but what was done, and how it was done was completely out of line
Quote:
She told you BEFORE you did anything, and she avoided what would have likely been an ugly scene with you. Good for her.
Except she DIDNT, she told me after we had made out pretty furiously and my hands were up her pants...
So basically she told me after I was exposed. This is BS no matter how you peel it back...
I agree with you in that the person has a duty to be upfront about about an STD from the get-go, no matter how afraid they are of the reaction. Even if the STD itself is not a deal breaker, it's still your choice to decide if that person is worth the risk for you; taking that choice away by not not telling you beforehand is completely selfish and disrespectful, which is definitely a deal breaker in my book.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanHalen5150
So apparently this forum has devolved into being a bunch of defenders of people with STD's hiding the fact that they have an STD...
I see, gotcha...
And people getting upset for having not been disclosed that the person they were fooling around with HAD an STD are in the wrong?
It all depends. The last guy I was with for years had HSV2. We were dating for about 2 months before he told me, because we were getting close to being more intimate. He was completely honest about it and I told him I have to research it and give it a bit of time to think about it. At the time, I never even had a STD test either, so no idea if I had anything. (my first dip back into dating 4 years after divorce) Had my test done, was all clean, was very well-informed on the topic, he was on Valtrex, used condoms and kept me informed if he was under stress and possibly breaking out. All was well. We were informed, we were careful.
I was willing to chance it because I trusted a man that will tell me and allow me to make a choice. It would be quite different if he didn't.
However, you guys do realize that this is a skin condition? HSV2 just favors the genital region. It is not one of those that cause death or sterility?
Must have SOLIDLY hit a nerve with a big percentage of the userbase here, most of which must be infested with HSV2 and are living in denial
Have you been tested yourself? If you have ever had sex, you may have it. It's fairly common. If you've never had sex and never will, then your chances may be lower, but it doesn't mean you can't encounter it. Just think about all the public places you go to where people have have just applied ointment to a cold sore or scratched their infected genitals and then touched a railing or other publicly used object. By the time you've touched it, it might already be too late. The virus has already seeped through your skin and into your bloodstream.
As a matter of fact, you should probably just never leave your disinfected living chamber until the day you die.
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