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It's significantly higher than 25% that you've been exposed to it if you've had more than a handful of partners.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoseLikeAnyOther
I know a handful of men that have over 100. I would be shocked if all of them didn't have it by now.
I tend to be skeptical of all the people who proclaim with such righteous conviction they don't have either type 1 or 2, especially those who have had several or more partners.
I tend to be skeptical of all the people who proclaim with such righteous conviction they don't have either type 1 or 2, especially those who have had several or more partners.
I think it's because it's such a taboo misunderstood topic. People act like someone that has it has an incurable form of leprosy.
I mean considering there are people in this world with legitimate disabilities that affect their every day lives and those who are in constant pain, it really is not that big of a deal in my opinion.
I know people who have to use wheelchairs every day because they are paralyzed from the waste down. I've known people who died from cancer and were in horrible pain the last months of their lives.
HSV? There is WAY worse stuff that can happen to you.
You know that, I know that, and a handful of other people in the world know that. But let's humour the rest of them for a minute. OK, so herpes is really, really bad news. I don't have it. Don't want to get it. I make sure I put at the beginning and end of every profile online: D/D free, thank you! Who are we. It is their right. What is not their right is to be offensive towards people that may have HSVII. This thread is an example of the kind of idle meaness that is exhibited by non-HSV people (or HSVI people) towards HSVII positive people. I mean...wtf... no one is twisting anyone's arm. Why poll a forum for an answer to a question for which the answer is rather biased.
And while we are at it. It doesn't seem to be well known that HSVI can express itself genitally! An HSVI carrier can (and do) give their virus to people. People who they did NOT inform of their condition because HSVI carries no stigma and they feel no compunction to share the information. Now the recipient of their callous indifference has a case of genital herpes for which they will receive lifelong scorn and rejection. A better question IMO than the o.p. would be: should cold sore sufferers be obligated to reveal the fact to potential partners?
Not a dealbreaker necessarily. 1) Are they willing to let me take the lead in terms of how our sexual relationship progresses? And 2) How do they respond to treatment?
Herpes-suppressant medications can be amazingly effective when they work, from what I've read. But I've also heard they can come with side effects.
Look, from my perspective, I rarely meet people I would want to have a relationship with. If I met one such person and they were honest right off the bat about having herpes, that would be really a thing to respect. I would not walk away from him right off the bat knowing that the odds were pretty decent that the next guy I was with would have herpes and either not know it or be lying about it. There are A LOT of people who have it out there.
I know three women who dated men with HSV-2 infections and had long-term sexual relationships with them and did not know the men were infected while they were together. Two of the men were on HSV-suppressing drugs and did not transmit the disease (the women found out other ways). The third man was not on HSV-suppressing drugs and didn't have an outbreak, but still transmitted it to my friend. his
I have a genetic predisposition towards diabetes, so I am very wary about getting HSV-2. Something that causes open sores in a warm, moist, bacteria-laden environment is not a good mix with diabetes, in particular. But if a guy I really liked was respectful of my boundaries, diligent about his medication and had a history of little to no outbreaks, I would be open to seeing where things went.
I guess i'm different from the rest, i always request a current std panel test, which would have to include, hsv 1 and 2, syphilis, hiv, and chylamdia and gonnorhea. This way i know what i'm dealing with. Unfortunately a man can't test for HPV, which is a bummer. I have also taken all these test to show them i'm free of all diseases. I know most people won't do this, so i stay away from them.
I guess i'm different from the rest, i always request a current std panel test, which would have to include, hsv 1 and 2, syphilis, hiv, and chylamdia and gonnorhea. This way i know what i'm dealing with. Unfortunately a man can't test for HPV, which is a bummer. I have also taken all these test to show them i'm free of all diseases. I know most people won't do this, so i stay away from them.
I guess i'm different from the rest, i always request a current std panel test, which would have to include, hsv 1 and 2, syphilis, hiv, and chylamdia and gonnorhea. This way i know what i'm dealing with. Unfortunately a man can't test for HPV, which is a bummer. I have also taken all these test to show them i'm free of all diseases. I know most people won't do this, so i stay away from them.
How recent is "recent"? What if the results were from, say, a month before, and your date contracted it, unknowingly, two weeks after the negative results, but never presented with symptoms up to the point the two of you start dating? This especially applies to the casual daters and their preteding to care about sexual health.
I mean, if two people hit it off on the first date, and say they have sex on the third date. Homegirl's negative results are from three weeks ago, but say she slept with a guy that is HSV+ a week later? If she contracted the virus during that last encounter, and she has yet to be tested by the time she meets her new potential beau, well... there's a risk no matter what. No one is going to visit their doctor every week to present ultra-fresh/new results to every encounter. In the context of casual dating, as common as it is, this is wholly unrealistic. For the folks who aren't casual daters or can't get a date and they date similar people they may have less risk, but it's still not risk-free. The only way to ensure you don't contract it is to abstain from sex completely.
Many like to say or think requiring testing is standard practice in the dating field, but it isn't. I can't count how many times I read D/D free in profiles, but these same people never inquired about STI or STD testing.
In the 2.5 years I was in and out of the dating scene only one partner inquired about STI testing, and I provided recent results. However, HSV was not part of the panel, at both OB/Gyns I visited. It was not standard.
I met and went out with many dozens of men in that time and only two of them, both with HSV-2, brought this matter up. They were honest and straightforward about it.
I, personally, am not weirded out by it. Do I want to catch it? No. Just like I'd rather not get the flu, but I won't boohoo about it. My second daughter contracted Gingivostomatitis when she was 18 months old, a very common virus most people contract by the time they're adults. It's basically HSV-1. She's now 8 and has had maybe 2-3 outbreaks since the initial infection. Only one outbreak each time and in the same general place. It wasn't a big deal to me then, as in, "Jibbers Crabst! She's a leper... get her away from me! Ew!"
The issue with STIs and STDs stems from the social and cultural stigma associated with them. The attitude our society has toward sex, that it's dirty, "naughty," and evil unless done within the confines of marriage. Any other virus or illness, even permanent, no one throws around assumptions and insults, or attempts to ride their high horse with their pious convictions of "they were probably loose and have a sordid past."
The two people I know/went out with contracted HSV-2 in long term relationships. One in particular, he knew his partner was cheating because of the outbreak.
Now, you're obviously well within your right to not date people with HSV, but I can't imagine why others' dating life, whether an individual is fine with dating someone with known HSV, matters to other people. It really doesn't. You don't want to date someone with a known STD, fine, but what other people do is no concern of others.
I wonder how many people these days take all the necessary precautions for safe sex. You can still get herpes even with a condom on. Do people just say "Hey babe are you clean?" and of course the guy will be like "Of course baby." even if he's never been tested because some guys will do anything to get laid, even if it means lying about being clean. You really have to protect yourself. I would never trust some guy saying "Yeah no worries I'm 100% disease free" shut up dude you just want to get laid, you've probably never even gotten tested. How many people have actually never gotten tested? I read a lot of people with STDS don't show any symptoms so they don't bother getting tested. Do people think that no symptoms = no STDS? That's a scary thought...again you have to look out for yourself because your partner might not. Even with a boyfriend/girlfriend, obviously they should care about you, but they might think they are clean because they show no symptoms but have never even gotten tested.
How recent is "recent"? What if the results were from, say, a month before, and your date contracted it, unknowingly, two weeks after the negative results, but never presented with symptoms up to the point the two of you start dating? This especially applies to the casual daters and their preteding to care about sexual health.
I mean, if two people hit it off on the first date, and say they have sex on the third date. Homegirl's negative results are from three weeks ago, but say she slept with a guy that is HSV+ a week later? If she contracted the virus during that last encounter, and she has yet to be tested by the time she meets her new potential beau, well... there's a risk no matter what. No one is going to visit their doctor every week to present ultra-fresh/new results to every encounter. In the context of casual dating, as common as it is, this is wholly unrealistic. For the folks who aren't casual daters or can't get a date and they date similar people they may have less risk, but it's still not risk-free. The only way to ensure you don't contract it is to abstain from sex completely.
Many like to say or think requiring testing is standard practice in the dating field, but it isn't. I can't count how many times I read D/D free in profiles, but these same people never inquired about STI or STD testing.
In the 2.5 years I was in and out of the dating scene only one partner inquired about STI testing, and I provided recent results. However, HSV was not part of the panel, at both OB/Gyns I visited. It was not standard.
I met and went out with many dozens of men in that time and only two of them, both with HSV-2, brought this matter up. They were honest and straightforward about it.
I, personally, am not weirded out by it. Do I want to catch it? No. Just like I'd rather not get the flu, but I won't boohoo about it. My second daughter contracted Gingivostomatitis when she was 18 months old, a very common virus most people contract by the time they're adults. It's basically HSV-1. She's now 8 and has had maybe 2-3 outbreaks since the initial infection. Only one outbreak each time and in the same general place. It wasn't a big deal to me then, as in, "Jibbers Crabst! She's a leper... get her away from me! Ew!"
The issue with STIs and STDs stems from the social and cultural stigma associated with them. The attitude our society has toward sex, that it's dirty, "naughty," and evil unless done within the confines of marriage. Any other virus or illness, even permanent, no one throws around assumptions and insults, or attempts to ride their high horse with their pious convictions of "they were probably loose and have a sordid past."
The two people I know/went out with contracted HSV-2 in long term relationships. One in particular, he knew his partner was cheating because of the outbreak.
Now, you're obviously well within your right to not date people with HSV, but I can't imagine why others' dating life, whether an individual is fine with dating someone with known HSV, matters to other people. It really doesn't. You don't want to date someone with a known STD, fine, but what other people do is no concern of others.
Current test results for me is actually within that week. And I do request for myself testing for hsv because it is not included in a regular std panel. And my partner and I wait for the test result with no sexual contact on between with other sex partners. I check the dates on the test too.
I guess i'm different from the rest, i always request a current std panel test, which would have to include, hsv 1 and 2, syphilis, hiv, and chylamdia and gonnorhea. This way i know what i'm dealing with. Unfortunately a man can't test for HPV, which is a bummer. I have also taken all these test to show them i'm free of all diseases. I know most people won't do this, so i stay away from them.
Again, herpes is NOT part of the standard STD panel, and most doctors worth their degrees would counsel someone who is asymptomatic AGAINST getting tested. Furthermore, it is utter b.s. that you have been tested for all diseases. There are dozens of strains of HPV.
Dating someone with an incurable STD would be a no no. In fact, before me and my wife got married we agreed to get tested. With so many sleeping around and diseases rampant we had to be safe.
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