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Wtf? When did I say I hate her?
Now you've hurt my feelings
Plus she said she isn't taking advantage of anyone, so you're kinda a jerk for saying she is.
Kinda a jerk? NO, I am a jerk! Lol
Anyhow, moving on.
OP: You have no clue what you're getting yourself into with these younghumpers at your age. If you're not already drinking heavily and smoking cigarettes...you're going to be! there's just too much young girl antics/drama involved.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jwuk45
No, because a 13-year old is still a child who is unable to legally consent to such things. A 19-year old is an adult.
They may be legally an adult (though they can't drink, not that adult!) if you've dealt with them as I have at Universities and such, they are far from adults. Shoot, 23 year old boys/girls aren't adults either.
They may be legally an adult (though they can't drink, not that adult!) if you've dealt with them as I have at Universities and such, they are far from adults. Shoot, 23 year old boys/girls aren't adults either.
That's just relative to your own age though. When I was 19 I thought people in their mid 20s and over were ancient old boring farts. Now most people in their mid 20s seem really young. When I'm in my 50s, people in their 30s will seem like babies to me.
But, it's kind of irrelevant. My parents left school at 14 and were working full time jobs. A lot of their peers had families before they were out of their teens. Just because young people are molly coddled these days and don't have to actually "become" adults until they're in their 40s (or at all) doesn't mean they're not capable. Hang out with some teenagers from poor Eastern European countries or parts of the middle east and you'll notice a massive difference. They're a lot more mature because they've already had a lot of the life experiences which Americans of this generation are protected from by overprotective parents.
That's just relative to your own age though. When I was 19 I thought people in their mid 20s and over were ancient old boring farts. Now most people in their mid 20s seem really young. When I'm in my 50s, people in their 30s will seem like babies to me.
Which is entirely the point, and, really, not necessarily so irrelevant.
Let's get real. It is highly unlikely that a 19-year old is even interested in pursuing anything beyond possibly an ego-stroking flirtation with a dude pushing 40, when she quite probably, in all likelihood sees people in their mid-to-upper twenties as "old."
That's just relative to your own age though. When I was 19 I thought people in their mid 20s and over were ancient old boring farts. Now most people in their mid 20s seem really young. When I'm in my 50s, people in their 30s will seem like babies to me.
But, it's kind of irrelevant. My parents left school at 14 and were working full time jobs. A lot of their peers had families before they were out of their teens. Just because young people are molly coddled these days and don't have to actually "become" adults until they're in their 40s (or at all) doesn't mean they're not capable. Hang out with some teenagers from poor Eastern European countries or parts of the middle east and you'll notice a massive difference. They're a lot more mature because they've already had a lot of the life experiences which Americans of this generation are protected from by overprotective parents.
To be fair, a big part of my problem with the idea of the 38-year-old OP dating a college "kid" (on a campus where he works in some fashion it would seem) is that she is most likely a kid. 19-year-old college freshman are usually still just as dependent on mom and dad as they were when they were when they were 14. They are often very immature and, mentally, not much better than high school kids. The OP even acknowledges his fear of what the parents might do/how the father of the child might feel.
Now, I bet if the OP was interested in a 19-year-old "woman" who was out in the world, living an adult life, had a job, a place of her own, etc (a lot like those teenagers you mention from other parts of the world) a lot of people wouldn't have an issue with it. I confess, I wouldn't blink and eye either. A woman like that is mature and can handle herself... she isn't an overgrown kid.
Going back to maturity, that age range (18-22) is fuzzy when it comes to people and their maturity levels. Plus, it's also hard to tell if they are even legal (wasn't there a recent case where a 17-year-old posed as 19-year-old on Tinder and some guy was charged with rape because of it). Is it really worth all the risk to a 38-year-old just to have some sexual "fun" (with a girl who is probably very sexually inexperienced in the first place). I say better safe than sorry and leave the 19-year-old alone.
Another factor that plays a role, IMO, is the OP acknowledging up-front that the 19-year old in question comes from an unstable background. So it's not just a teen, it's a teen with issues of questionable upbringing - patterns of abuse, neglect, abandonment...who knows, we don't have that information, just the indication that the homelife is unstable. Which does add a potentially predatory element to the whole thing.
Well, in most states in America and most countries the legal age is between 14 and 16, so that can be even more unsettling. But I have friends in their mid-20s who literally look about 14, and I've known teenagers to look very old for their age. It's easier to avoid this problem in America though since bars tend to be strict about ID'ing people. If you're out in the UK, where bouncers don't care that much, it's a real danger.
Sorry, I mean most countries it's between 14 and 16, most US states it's 16. I worded it badly.
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