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My kids! My older son's fiance got a work study opportunity to go to the UK for 2 weeks and she finagled it somehow so that my son is able to go with her (even though he is not a student at the college.) They have raised the money, and he's in the process of getting his passport. I've never even been out of the continental US, so I'm really happy for them! Their trip is in late May, I'm really hoping that it all works out. He even cleared the time off with his job, like a responsible adult and everything.
My younger son has kept his job for over a month now, and he's getting comfortable working full time, for the first time in years, and he was able to pay his own rent. He's starting to achieve a bit of stability and making some tentative plans for his future.
I don't think that I've had a single moment, maybe in their lifetimes, where I was able to relax this much and let go some of the worry about them. I sure hope it lasts, but I'm just...man I'm enjoying this moment. So much.
That's awesome Sonic! It's always such a huge sense of relief when family stuff finally falls into place
That's awesome Sonic! It's always such a huge sense of relief when family stuff finally falls into place
We have a lot of late 20s and early 30s in the extended family and most of them all did a pretty good job of launching.
Unfortunately we have one that is just lost and may never come back. Gives me a real deep sadness for him and his parents. He's a drug addict living on the streets. Everyone knows the story arc as they say. It's a fairly common story.
Felt a real sadness when one time when his dad told us that he saw him on the street as he drove by and just had to keep driving.
Thinking about that and these few yrs later after he said it still makes me get a bit watery eyed.
This kid on paper had it all, upper middle class family, tall, handsome, smart. The whole nine yards.
Addiction is a mother and I say that without judgement, it's a real problem in this country. Fentanyl is killing a lot of people.
My kids! My older son's fiance got a work study opportunity to go to the UK for 2 weeks and she finagled it somehow so that my son is able to go with her (even though he is not a student at the college.) They have raised the money, and he's in the process of getting his passport. I've never even been out of the continental US, so I'm really happy for them! Their trip is in late May, I'm really hoping that it all works out. He even cleared the time off with his job, like a responsible adult and everything.
My younger son has kept his job for over a month now, and he's getting comfortable working full time, for the first time in years, and he was able to pay his own rent. He's starting to achieve a bit of stability and making some tentative plans for his future.
I don't think that I've had a single moment, maybe in their lifetimes, where I was able to relax this much and let go some of the worry about them. I sure hope it lasts, but I'm just...man I'm enjoying this moment. So much.
My kids! My older son's fiance got a work study opportunity to go to the UK for 2 weeks and she finagled it somehow so that my son is able to go with her (even though he is not a student at the college.) They have raised the money, and he's in the process of getting his passport. I've never even been out of the continental US, so I'm really happy for them! Their trip is in late May, I'm really hoping that it all works out. He even cleared the time off with his job, like a responsible adult and everything.
My younger son has kept his job for over a month now, and he's getting comfortable working full time, for the first time in years, and he was able to pay his own rent. He's starting to achieve a bit of stability and making some tentative plans for his future.
I don't think that I've had a single moment, maybe in their lifetimes, where I was able to relax this much and let go some of the worry about them. I sure hope it lasts, but I'm just...man I'm enjoying this moment. So much.
We have a lot of late 20s and early 30s in the extended family and most of them all did a pretty good job of launching.
Unfortunately we have one that is just lost and may never come back. Gives me a real deep sadness for him and his parents. He's a drug addict living on the streets. Everyone knows the story arc as they say. It's a fairly common story.
Felt a real sadness when one time when his dad told us that he saw him on the street as he drove by and just had to keep driving.
Thinking about that and these few yrs later after he said it still makes me get a bit watery eyed.
This kid on paper had it all, upper middle class family, tall, handsome, smart. The whole nine yards.
Addiction is a mother and I say that without judgement, it's a real problem in this country. Fentanyl is killing a lot of people.
His story is a lot of people's story.
Sad.
Yeah I have worried myself half to death about my younger son. And he's not out of the woods yet.
"Roommate drama" is the woe du jour for both of my boys these days. Older one got a place with his fiancee and a friend of theirs from high school. I tried really hard to gently warn him, that living with friends is somewhat likely to ruin a friendship...particularly in this phase of life where odds are solid that somebody (or everybody) will be irresponsible, at least sometimes. Sure enough, they fought about household chores and supplies, the friend did not pay his rent, borrowed from my kid and his fiancee and never paid them back... They are pretty fed up. Younger son rents a room in a house that is rented by the room to (mainly) college kids. There is a realty company that specializes in that kind of property management. It was the cheapest place we could find for him. But his mental health issues make it scary. When he is in one of his worse states, he interprets any criticism or conflict as others observing, persecuting, bullying and even "experimenting on" him. He gets really spun out. And he runs off at the mouth in ways that are almost bound to start fights. He also fell in with some really bad kids from a trailer park down the road who were giving him access to worse things than he was already into...drugs, crime, conflict and drama.
I have not been able to tell how much of his problem is his mental health, and how much is just the irresponsibility of youth (he is 20, at his age I was not doing great, myself!) Unfortunately he loves to smoke weed, which in my opinion is bad from both angles. Not good for someone with any flavor of schizophrenic leanings, not good for someone struggling to be motivated and responsible. I wish he'd stop, but I can't make him stop.
I've been very afraid that he would have to hit rock bottom, and that he may or may not survive it. Every time he tried to metaphorically fling himself off a cliff, I've desperately scrambled to throw a cushion to break his fall. But it reached a point where it was hurting my bottom line very badly to keep doing that.
He's got tons of resources for his mental and physical health, he's got all the wise advice I can possibly give him. He's got people, a support network, to care about him and help him out. He has got to find a way to care about his own life. It is heartbreaking.
But he actually likes his job in (of all places) an Amazon warehouse, and they're paying him pretty well. It's all baby steps, and hope his resolve does not fail and cause him to slide backwards. 'Cause I have run out of cushions over here. But like I said...even knowing all of that, I'm just going to try and breathe and appreciate this moment while I've got it.
At least I am not worried about the older one, though!
We never had kids and in general I tend to try to exercise restraint and or provide disclaimers when I talk about kids or child rearing in general.
I knew instinctively at a young age that I was never going to have kids. I knew it. I somehow knew at a very young age that having kids is a tremendous responsibility.
It doesn't just stop at 18. Parents are always concerned about their child's well being. I know as they get older and more established I imagine some of that worry relaxes a bit, but who knows, since I'm not a parent I can only assume.
I've worked with guys that have kids and my buds from back in the day all have kids that are getting older and moving into adulthood. Like I posted earlier seeing all of the kids in the extended family growing up. Mrs. Chow and I are coming up on 30 yrs this coming July so I've watched all of the kids grow up and a few of them are having their own kids now.
This cycle of life is happening right in front of your eyes.
My hats off to all of the parents out there doing their best to raise kids to try and put good decent people into our society, it's a tough job at times, of which I have no doubt.
That is one child rearing statement I can make with certainty.
My kids! My older son's fiance got a work study opportunity to go to the UK for 2 weeks and she finagled it somehow so that my son is able to go with her (even though he is not a student at the college.) They have raised the money, and he's in the process of getting his passport. I've never even been out of the continental US, so I'm really happy for them! Their trip is in late May, I'm really hoping that it all works out. He even cleared the time off with his job, like a responsible adult and everything.
My younger son has kept his job for over a month now, and he's getting comfortable working full time, for the first time in years, and he was able to pay his own rent. He's starting to achieve a bit of stability and making some tentative plans for his future.
I don't think that I've had a single moment, maybe in their lifetimes, where I was able to relax this much and let go some of the worry about them. I sure hope it lasts, but I'm just...man I'm enjoying this moment. So much.
It doesn't just stop at 18. Parents are always concerned about their child's well being. I know as they get older and more established I imagine some of that worry relaxes a bit, but who knows, since I'm not a parent I can only assume.
It doesn’t stop at all - especially when grandkids come along. I have a 7-year-old grandson, and I’m terrified of how he is going to grow up and the world he has to live in. His personal life is good (nice, clean house, good parents) but it’s the rest of the world that concerns me.
Is anyone else getting an unusual amount of rep points for years old posts? Like, ancient history?
Yes. As well as random private messages. It's odd, but that's the internet for you, eh?
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