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She didn't owe him the boyfriend title. They had a set arrangement as FWB that the OP agreed to. She met someone else and decided to date him. It is what it is. Some people end up catching feelings, which is why such arrangements can be tricky, but no one is entitled to be more than what both parties agreed to.
You are missing the point- a lot of people pull the "FWB" out of their a-ss and say they aren't looking for anything serious (I know I did)- then a month later they have a boyfriend. In reality, they were always open for a relationship, they just don't want it to be you. But you're good enough screw......
Well if I am to make my own decision on this one, my instincts tell me that I should console her and make her feel better about her bf leaving her after a week of exclusivity, since she is very upset about it, and rightly so...
But not console her too much, so she doesn't think I am getting too close... and then go back to the way things with her since she is a of fun to spend time with just as a friend, and just see what happens, and accept things as they are either way I guess.
She's torn up after a week of this guy? Boy, that must be rough. Doesn't that tell you right there where you rate in the big picture?
She's torn up after a week of this guy? Boy, that must be rough. Doesn't that tell you right there where you rate in the big picture?
Well she knew him for over three weeks. First they met online and started messaging each other. Then came a few dates for two weeks, while I was busy working overtime and work, and hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks. Then when I saw her, she was in an exclusive relationship with him for about a week.
Well if I am to make my own decision on this one, my instincts tell me that I should console her and make her feel better about her bf leaving her after a week of exclusivity, since she is very upset about it, and rightly so...
But not console her too much, so she doesn't think I am getting too close... and then go back to the way things with her since she is a of fun to spend time with just as a friend, and just see what happens, and accept things as they are either way I guess.
The BF dumped her because she is not a person of character, and maybe found out about you. Lose this LOSER. Is she THAT HOT you can't just move on?
If you want an FWB then stay around. However, if you want something more meaningful, you will have to approach that question with this woman or another woman. If this is the woman you want to pursue, then put your feelings out there. If she doesn't feel the same way as you do, you will have to move on from her. Keeping her in your orbit will only interfere with other women getting into your orbit. I made the same decision with a friend this summer. It wasn't the decision I wanted to make, it was the decision that I had to make. I didn't want to be runner up, I wanted to be the prize. You have to have confidence in yourself to make that decision.
I wasn't sure which forum to post this in, so I guessed maybe this one.
Maybe she's not my best friend, but my best female one lately. Basically early this year I met her, but new from years ago and that's how we clicked. She said she was just looking for FWBs and so I tried that out with her, but we ended being good friends as well, and hanging out and doing all this other stuff together.
I developed feelings for her overtime and chose to ignore it since I liked her as a friend so much and valued that. Last night she told me she has a new bf now, and my feelings all of a sudden skyrocketed and I was surprised as to how much it's affected me. Maybe I'm in love, not sure, but definitely close.
I feel like maybe I should tell her how I feel since it's bothering me a lot more. I'm not looking to get her to leave her new bf if that is the right guy for her and if he makes her happy.
But at the same time, I have this huge weight on my heart that's bothering me, and I feel I should somehow lift it, and clear the air. What do you think?
Now that she's out of the relationship she was having with another, it would be a grand time to tell her how you really feel about her.
Why do you feel you can't have feelings for her and still be a valued friend?
Feeling as you do in the above post would make me think that now that you have another chance with her you'd be more open about how you really feel for her.
Do you want an exclusive relationship with her????or does that feeling only happen when she's with someone else.
You can't have it both ways..
You should decide if you REALLY want this woman in your life now, because otherwise some other guys gonna come around and you'll lose her again.
Chances are that if you'd rather be just a friend than her partner, when she's finds another boyfriend you won't get to be a close friend anymore anyways...not if the boyfriend has any say in it.
Why tell her "how I'm feeling since it's bothering me a lot" unless you're willing to change what you already have. You're just confusing her for your own selfish reasons...almost like guilting her from having a relationship with someone else who may want to love her completely.
Oh okay, thanks. I didn't think that I was being selfish over it.
I wanted an exclusive relationship with her before she got a bf, I just didn't say anything. Then when she got one, the feelings hit me harder, cause I felt more of a sense of urgency of the feelings were bothering me. But I want her to be happy of course.
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The BF dumped her because she is not a person of character, and maybe found out about you. Lose this LOSER. Is she THAT HOT you can't just move on?
What did she do that made he a loser though? Just cause she thinks of me as FWB material so far, and not anything more? I still think she is a good friend, since she helped me out with some career stuff and hangs out with me and we do other things, other than sex though.
What did she do that made he a loser though? Just cause she thinks of me as FWB material so far, and not anything more? I still think she is a good friend, since she helped me out with some career stuff and hangs out with me and we do other things, other than sex though.
You'd think a person with whom you are intimate would communicate something like that she is seeing some other guy, and was thinking of making him her BF, and that you may be replaced in the sex role, before it actually happens. And if she is having sex with you while making him her BF, then that's not good either.
Oh I thought since I was busy with work, I didn't really make time for her to sit down and communicate that with me. Or maybe she just felt awkward about it until she was sure there was exclusivity.
You are missing the point- a lot of people pull the "FWB" out of their a-ss and say they aren't looking for anything serious (I know I did)- then a month later they have a boyfriend. In reality, they were always open for a relationship, they just don't want it to be you. But you're good enough screw......
And...so what? Not all FWB are boyfriend/girlfriend material for a number of reasons. They can make for good friends with benefits, but could be incompatible for a relationship.
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