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These are a bunch of doozies! (http://msn.match.com/matchus/msn/article.aspx?articleid=7446&TrackingID=516311&Bann erID=544657&menuid=7>1=26000 - broken link)
The nerve of some people.
A date? What's that? I haven't been on one in over 3 years, then again I'm not really looking.
Many years ago I almost married someone who almost convinced me he was divorced. There were too many signs that made me curious and eventually, in meeting a few of his friends, it slipped up one night (thank gawd!). I left him so fast he probably had no clue what happened.
I found out after a couple dates that his guy lied about his age. Thought it was strange because I've heard of women doing that but never men. He said he was 38 but he was really 40, so I said why bother lying aout only two years and he said I don't want women to think I'm single and 40. Huh?
Another time I met a guy for the first time on a blind date and we did not hit it off. He was obnoxious, lied about his job in a previous conversation and I was not at all attracted to him. We were at a bar, so I decided I would have a drink and a shot and call it a night because he was so horrible. All of a sudden he says to me, I recently went on a date with someone else and I wish I could mix you and her together. Your face and body and her personality! Whatever buddy, yuck!
One Saturday, I was buying new bedspreads at a department store and the sales clerk really begins flirting with me. As it so happens, she and I had a mutual acquaintance, a colleague of mine. I write the check and think no more of it.
That Monday, I go into the office and my colleague, Roxanne, comes into my office and says, "What exactly did you say to her? She's called me three times this weekend about you and once this morning." Finally, against my better judgment, I call her up and we decide to go out that weekend.
First date, twenty minutes into the date, she asks me how much my salary was. Evidently she wasn't satisfied with my answer, for she gets quiet. However, the rest of the night was a lot of fun, with good chemistry, etc. etc. Plus the fact that she was hotter than a $5 pistol on Saturday night. I take her back to her apartment, and she invites me up. We don't make the beast with two backs, but it was pretty hot and heavy anyway. "We're going to make great lovers," she coos into my ear.
The second date was weird and perfunctory. Awkward, even. Don't remember much about it. But we agree to go out a third time.
So, that Saturday morning, I call her to square things up for that evening. She then announces that she has decided, based on my salary, that she can't get serious about me--that she's already identified another guy for her long-term relationship. However, she wanted me as a FWB (Friend With Benefits), and had decided to sleep with me that night.
I went on a date with a guy who was significantly older than me. We had chatted a few times before the meeting and he seemed like an interesting intellectual. So I meet him at the restaurant and he looked a LOT older than he said he was. His pictures must have been 10 years old! So since I already was there, I figured I'd just deal with it before we went out separate ways. So we sat down at the table and he told me he had something for me. Before I knew it, he had whipped out a short, red, plaid, school girl skirt and told me he'd really like it if I went to the bathroom and put it on!
I left the skirt in the bathroom and snuck out the back door of the restaurant! Normally I'd just get up and leave right then, but the restaurant was too close for comfort from my townhouse and I didn't want him following me home!
I went on a date with a guy who was significantly older than me. We had chatted a few times before the meeting and he seemed like an interesting intellectual. So I meet him at the restaurant and he looked a LOT older than he said he was. His pictures must have been 10 years old! So since I already was there, I figured I'd just deal with it before we went out separate ways. So we sat down at the table and he told me he had something for me. Before I knew it, he had whipped out a short, red, plaid, school girl skirt and told me he'd really like it if I went to the bathroom and put it on!
I left the skirt in the bathroom and snuck out the back door of the restaurant! Normally I'd just get up and leave right then, but the restaurant was too close for comfort from my townhouse and I didn't want him following me home!
So we sat down at the table and he told me he had something for me. Before I knew it, he had whipped out a short, red, plaid, school girl skirt and told me he'd really like it if I went to the bathroom and put it on!
Good gawd... A nunnery sounds better by the day...
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