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Old 05-21-2008, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,202,868 times
Reputation: 22814

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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiaroscuro View Post
True. But one less 'negative' mark for still being without brats.
Well, I don't plan on any anyway - in case it matters on your scale.
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Old 05-21-2008, 04:17 PM
 
1,009 posts, read 2,211,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, I don't plan on any anyway - in case it matters on your scale.
No that's great on the scale.
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Old 05-21-2008, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,202,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiaroscuro View Post
No that's great on the scale.
Not that the scale matters...
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Old 05-21-2008, 04:43 PM
 
1,009 posts, read 2,211,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Not that the scale matters...
Many men have a similar scale. A poll done in Men's Health mag found that one of the TOP deal-breakers among men was that a woman has kids from a previous relationship. Another one was if she is a smoker. To a lesser degree, if she had served prison time (though hopefully you don't encounter much of those women in your city). So yes, the fact that you don't have kids at your age is a positive for a lot of guys, because that usually entails more baggage, a baby-daddy (or two) floating around somewhere, and a big chunk of your time and effort which must be devoted to the kids. You're single, w/o kids, and free to do whatever you want, that bumps you up on the scale quite a bit, especially if he doesn't want an Insta-Family.
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Old 05-21-2008, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,202,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiaroscuro View Post
A poll done in Men's Health mag
Here comes my next deal-breaker - a man reading Men's Health!

Quote:
You're single, w/o kids, and free to do whatever you want
That's right, baby!

If I have to be honest, though, as Sifu was so kind to point out , the invisible baggage can be just as heavy (if not heavier) as the visible one... You better think about that as well when ruling people out.
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Old 05-21-2008, 05:02 PM
 
1,009 posts, read 2,211,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Here comes my next deal-breaker - a man reading Men's Health!



That's right, baby!

If I have to be honest, though, as Sifu was so kind to point out , the invisible baggage can be just as heavy (if not heavier) as the visible one... You better think about that as well when ruling people out.
Well yeah! But invisible baggage is invisible, lol. You have to get to know a person before you can say 'You know what. This person is smokin' froot loops. I'm outta here."

Visible deal-breakers (like children, or tattoos, or whatever) are right-off-the-bat type of things. You have kids? Ok, well we can be friends, but I really want no part of that. With invisible baggage, someone could seem ideal initially, and it's only later you find out the are really torn inside and it's gonna affect your life in a big way.
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Old 05-21-2008, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,202,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiaroscuro View Post
Well yeah! But invisible baggage is invisible, lol. You have to get to know a person before you can say 'You know what. This person is smokin' froot loops. I'm outta here."

Visible deal-breakers (like children, or tattoos, or whatever) are right-off-the-bat type of things. You have kids? Ok, well we can be friends, but I really want no part of that. With invisible baggage, someone could seem ideal initially, and it's only later you find out the are really torn inside and it's gonna affect your life in a big way.
Exactly. And sometimes you may discover it too late, whereas a person with a kid or two who initially looks less ideal might be better in the long run. I hope you take what I'm saying at face value now that you know I’m not biased on the issue at all.
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Old 05-21-2008, 05:17 PM
 
9,912 posts, read 13,908,039 times
Reputation: 7330
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn07 View Post
Is chivalry dead?
I went out with a guy last night who I don't want to see again but he didn't even have the decentcy to walk me to my car. Why are guys like this?
I swear most guys that I've gone out with haven't walked me to my car.
I think that is so rude. I just would think any guy who was raised right should walk you to your car whether he likes you or not, just by being a gentlemen.
Well I'm a big believer in common courtesy and not specifically chivalry so much. I don't believe that there is a particular set of rules that men should follow and women should expect or be ungracious whenever it is offered or not offered them.

To me courtesy is like a little gift that someone may bestow upon you if they're able simply because they're a good person on a good day. When they don't I don't immediately jump to the conclusion that they're bad or not raised right but instead think perhaps they're having a bad day and are preoccupied with their troubles.

Either way courtesy, like love, is catching so I find the more courteous you are, and gracious in accepting courtesy, the more courtesy you recieve.

Maybe give it a try? It works for me.
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Old 05-21-2008, 05:17 PM
 
1,009 posts, read 2,211,445 times
Reputation: 605
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Exactly. And sometimes you may discover it too late, whereas a person with a kid or two who initially looks less ideal might be better in the long run. I hope you take what I'm saying at face value now that you know I’m not biased on the issue at all.
Well the point is that having children is a deal-breaker for a lot of men, at least in america. This was shown by a poll done on a lot of men, that's all I'm saying. Even if a woman with children turns out to be Fabulous, if children is a deal-breaker for you... It's a deal-breaker! Some men with huge beer bellies might turn out to be best in the long run, but I bet if we took a poll of all the women in america, many would say that a guy with the pregnant-look would be a deal-breaker for them.

I just wanted to say, congrats for not having kids, because it gives you wayyyy more options when it comes to guys. I'm sure there is some guy who is thinking "Hey now! I PREFER women who have kids from previous relationships!" Ok, guy. I see you waving back there in the audience. But a majority do not.

I'd always assumed you had kids sierra, but this changes my views a little bit on you now. You're one of the few women on here who speaks from the point of being unmarried, without kids, yet over the age of 30. What do you do with all your free time???
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Old 05-21-2008, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,633,549 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
...as Sifu was so kind to point out ...
Anytime, m'lady.
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