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I would love some companionship but I don't think I will ever marry again. Ideally I would love to find someone special, have him buy a house in my neighborhood rather then us living together. We could spend most of our time together but then we could still have time apart. We would have our own space but be close enough that it be convenient to get together.
I just don't think I can attach that ball and chain to my ankle again.
LOL, you must have me confused with someone else, I am not living with anyone nor have I lived with anyone in 7 years. I just don't want to do it again. I am a more independent and I just don't think I can open up and give up that much of my life anymore.
I don't want to live with anyone in my house, he can live next door.
For example, I hate sports. NO, I really hate them. I jeer and sneer at the sports cast and in general feel superior to those who shackle themselves to the TV to watch it. My TVs in short do not ever broadcast sports and I have no desire to change that. How is that going to be compatible, that attitude AND the specific dislike of sports.
My neighbor has a boyfriend who broke up with her because she wouldn't move in with him. She owns her own home and didn't want to give up so much of her independance. Now he just comes over on the weekends. He also came over and took care of her when she had surgery. It just seems so much nicer. There are weekends here and there where they have their own things to do but most weekends he is here. I think its nice.
I just need my own space.
God forbid some man comes in my house again and makes mention of how its too feminine for him or he doesn't like the flowers everywhere, man that really chaps my behind.
There are many, many 50+ women who feel the same exact way. They love their single living and wouldn't change it for anyone! I, in fact, said the same thing. Get married or not get married, but share keys to demonstrate an exclusive arrangement.
But if he lives next door, are you willing to spend the time with him that he needs? I love my time alone, so for me that might be an issue.
For awhile after my late wife passed away, I had single ladies living on each side of my home. I might have considered having an affair with either of them (except that neither appealed to me), but it would be a cold day in hell before I'd buy a house in another area just to be closer to someone who didn't want to live with me.
I noticed you wrote that HE would buy a house in YOUR neighborhood, not the other way around.
My house has 3 levels. My wife is welcome to any of them if she wants some alone time. (I only use one at a time.)
I suggest you check out the single guys in your neighborhood.
I am 55 and in the middle of a divorce right now. My husband and I have been married nearly 23 years and have 4 children. I will not marry again. I may date but I will never live with a man, have a man live with me or marry again. Been there, done that, and have the t-shirt to prove it!
I would love some companionship but I don't think I will ever marry again. Ideally I would love to find someone special, have him buy a house in my neighborhood rather then us living together. We could spend most of our time together but then we could still have time apart. We would have our own space but be close enough that it be convenient to get together.
I just don't think I can attach that ball and chain to my ankle again.
You know lindsey I have never been married but I know that I would like the same thing. I have lived with a guy and it is an experience I do not wish to duplicate. I like having my own space and my own house. Many men find that threatening or that I do not wish to be with him, which is not the case. I just do not want them to be at my house all the time. ( may be I am selfish) idk.
I am 55 and in the middle of a divorce right now. My husband and I have been married nearly 23 years and have 4 children. I will not marry again. I may date but I will never live with a man, have a man live with me or marry again. Been there, done that, and have the t-shirt to prove it!
I remember my ex telling me the same thing when we divorced. I told her I thought that was wise. Funny thing, she was married again in less than a year!
There are many, many 50+ women who feel the same exact way. They love their single living and wouldn't change it for anyone! I, in fact, said the same thing. Get married or not get married, but share keys to demonstrate an exclusive arrangement.
But if he lives next door, are you willing to spend the time with him that he needs? I love my time alone, so for me that might be an issue.
Yea, I would be willing to spend time at his house but I do like my time alone.
AND I am happy with my neighborhood, I own my house outright, there is one other in my town I would consider moving to for such an arrangement. Yes that might be selfish but I'm upfront about how I feel and I have not looked for someone and then made unreasonable demands.
I have no plans to move from here unless someday I move further South. Thats another thing, I can just imagine getting married and have him get a transfer to another state. I simply will not be living anywhere cold again. Not for anyone.
I have looked about the community I live in but its a community of mostly families.
There are many, many 50+ women who feel the same exact way. They love their single living and wouldn't change it for anyone! I, in fact, said the same thing. Get married or not get married, but share keys to demonstrate an exclusive arrangement.
But if he lives next door, are you willing to spend the time with him that he needs? I love my time alone, so for me that might be an issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoNewk
For awhile after my late wife passed away, I had single ladies living on each side of my home. I might have considered having an affair with either of them (except that neither appealed to me), but it would be a cold day in hell before I'd buy a house in another area just to be closer to someone who didn't want to live with me.
I noticed you wrote that HE would buy a house in YOUR neighborhood, not the other way around.
My house has 3 levels. My wife is welcome to any of them if she wants some alone time. (I only use one at a time.)
I suggest you check out the single guys in your neighborhood.
And good luck!
I have no plans to turn my life upside down for a man and that includes moving FOR him. If there is a man in my life and HE wants to live close to me then he can do the moving, its just that simple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoNewk
I remember my ex telling me the same thing when we divorced. I told her I thought that was wise. Funny thing, she was married again in less than a year!
I was seperated and divorced in 2002 and I am still single. Once the shock was gone, I realized that I loved the peace and quiet of being single. I only have to worry about my daughter and I.
I have no plans to turn my life upside down for a man and that includes moving FOR him. If there is a man in my life and HE wants to live close to me then he can do the moving, its just that simple.
Even though I'm with you on not wanting to turn my life upside down and/or move, I recognize that if I'm not willing to do something I can't expect other people to do it, either. And no offense, but a middle-aged woman with a child and a zoo is hardly the dream offer everybody would go crazy enough about to turn his life upside down, realistically speaking...
Lindsay, I have heard bunches of women saying the same thing. Stuff like how they lived with a man and don't want to have to clean up after someone anymore, put up with his mess, his noise, his smells, his demands on her time, lack of privacy, etc.
It's understandable that a grown person would want to be able to live exactly how she wants all the time. Who doesn't want that? And maybe b/c men have historically been less willing to compromise and be true household partners (a married woman with a full time job still has 30 hours of housework when she gets home), I can see why more and more women who are now financially independent choose not to live with a man.
I lived with my little brother (college/grad school) for a number of months, and I spent more time wanting to kill him than enjoying having his company. So I know where you're coming from.
In the end, you should do what you want and be true to yourself, but it seems like we're not going to get anywhere if everyone is always about what they want. You see what happened to male-female relationships b/c men have refused to change despite women gaining independence. Now more and more men are left out in the cold as women don't want to put up with their b.s. (cuz they no longer have to).
The first thing I think needs to happen is women (and fathers, too) need to change how they are raising their sons. Making your daughters help in the kitchen while your son is watching football with 'the guys' on Thanksgiving is total b*llsh*t. Acting like some chores are woman's chores and some are men's chores...again...total b.s. Raise your son to respect women and not treat them like their second mommies; that would be an insanely amazing trick.
Women and men...don't raise your daughters to be frickin' Princess Buttercup. Feminine is nice; helpless and overly dainty is worthless. No man is going to respect a woman who can't take care of herself or stand up for herself. Or who seems to want nothing from him but his money and things.
We all need to learn to be considerate and make individual sacrifices to live with each other. I think the intimacy you can gain from that is priceless. Don't give up! Try harder!
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