Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thats not what I mean, and you know that..... you are playing head games with her, which is NOT good.
When I say "allow", I don't mean anything sinister. I just speak negatively about the aspects of her feminine beauty that all her life, men have been speaking of positively.
Do you think it is healthy that her whole life her sense of accomplishment came from compliments about her appearance and cute personality?
When I say "allow", I don't mean anything sinister. I just speak negatively about the aspects of her feminine beauty that all her life, men have been speaking of positively.
This is just going nowhere, you really think that there is nothing wrong with what you are doing..... if she puts up with this, then all I can say is y'all must deserve each other.
Come back and tell us about how your life is going in about 20 years, after you have had some REAL life experiences.
I still fail to understand just what it is about your long-suffering wife you are complaining about.
BTW, how can you be in Cali politics if you are in NY?
This is just going nowhere, you really think that there is nothing wrong with what you are doing..... if she puts up with this, then all I can say is y'all must deserve each other.
Come back and tell us about how your life is going in about 20 years, after you have had some REAL life experiences.
I still fail to understand just what it is about your long-suffering wife you are complaining about.
The problem is that she is in many ways still backward. But that is more my fault than it is hers.
It would be more wrong if I complimented her on her beauty, if I rewarded her for being ditzy. If I allowed her to seek approval from me. This would make her into a dependent plaything. Which is how most husbands treat their wives.
Isn't it a mindgame, when a man makes a women think that he NEEDS him? Then the subtext is she is never free to leave, at least not in good conscience.
And just so you know I did all this when we were first dating.
This is just going nowhere, you really think that there is nothing wrong with what you are doing..... if she puts up with this, then all I can say is y'all must deserve each other.
Come back and tell us about how your life is going in about 20 years, after you have had some REAL life experiences.
I still fail to understand just what it is about your long-suffering wife you are complaining about.
BTW, how can you be in Cali politics if you are in NY?
I shuttle between New York City and San Francisco fairly frequently. Those are the two main cities I work in, with the third being Chicago.
Do you at least see that I love and genuinely care about my wife, and all this I do because I want her to be a full-human being and not a spiritual dwarf?
Do you at least see that I love and genuinely care about my wife, and all this I do because I want her to be a full-human being and not a spiritual dwarf?
Um, quite frankly, NO!
If my husband ever ONCE did any of the things you do, I would smack him upside the head with a cast-iron skillet!
If he didnt compliment me on my intelligence, social skills, sparkling personality, career, etc., etc., I would wonder at his sanity.
Do I NEED any of these things from him? No, but they are nice to hear, and it is nice to be appreciated, as an equal, which is how he views me.
Um, quite frankly, NO!
If my husband ever ONCE did any of the things you do, I would smack him upside the head with a cast-iron skillet!
If he didnt compliment me on my intelligence, social skills, sparkling personality, career, etc., etc., I would wonder at his sanity.
Do I NEED any of these things from him? No, but they are nice to hear, and it is nice to be appreciated, as an equal, which is how he views me.
Its not like I'm against praising my wife. The question is for what? But compliments are about power. When you compliment a woman about the features that make her weak, you are reinforcing her position of subordination. So there is nothing innocent about telling her her hair or dress looks nice or that she looks beautiful. A casual compliment like that says much more.
As a man influenced by our culture I find her incredibly beautiful, and am charmed by her personality. But if i were to compliment those things, i would be reinforcing this culture.
Do you at least see that I love and genuinely care about my wife, and all this I do because I want her to be a full-human being and not a spiritual dwarf?
The reality is, you can't change another person - you can only change yourself. Quit telling yourself this is "okay" because you only want what's best for her - that's a lie.
Even if it were true it would still be wrong. I don't see this marriage making it in the long haul.
Its not like I'm against praising my wife. The question is for what? But compliments are about power. When you compliment a woman about the features that make her weak, you are reinforcing her position of subordination. So there is nothing innocent about telling her her hair or dress looks nice or that she looks beautiful. A casual compliment like that says much more.
As a man influenced by our culture I find her incredibly beautiful, and am charmed by her personality. But if i were to compliment those things, i would be reinforcing this culture.
Wow. I sure hope you are just a troll
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
