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Again, more incentive to not date: the problem of being accused of stalking. Feminism, I believe, has caused much destruction in the fabric of western society. I have found satisfaction elsewhere, if you have been following my responses.
I find it very, very interesting that you ASKED for responses but stated you would PREFER responses from MEN, 40 and older -- I assume since they would be most likely to fit your demographic.
And yet, ironically...
The first, most detailed and appreciated answer to you was from a 30-something woman, Mango Tango.
Because a 30-something woman knows just exactly where 40-something men are coming from, right?
Since that point some older males have responded and I'll definitely say up front, their responses have carried (for the most part) some negative connotations, stalking not being least among these.
You're frustrated that men will give you their number and ask you to call them because (and I quote) "...that is a man too afraid of rejection and putting all the weight on the woman".
But if that man puts himself out there because you don't seem to think he's worth the effort of a phone call, RISKS the very rejection you suggest he's too cowardly to handle and DOES get rejected -- isn't that you being too afraid of rejection and putting all the weight (onus) on the man?
Does that not TELL you something?
The very demographic you're looking into, 40-something, divorced or likely-divorced, are the very crowd that has either been burned by a woman OR, in the event of their own guilt (all-too-often assumed by the general public), have discovered that marriage is not to their liking.
In the case of burned men, they're not eager to put a hand back into the fire. They're the same as you, OUT THERE, back in a game which is now unfamiliar to them, older, no longer with the looks and youth of the 20-year-olds, uncertain of themselves.
Yet you think they need to assume all the risk just to suit you.
In the case of the men who were the "guilty parties" (inasmuch as it's possible in today's world of no-fault divorces), the ones who decided marriage is not for them, they're not LOOKING for women in your age-group because younger women are more open to moving on, less demand, less expectation, and are sort of trophies (Look at me, I got a young hottie!) in the game, while women in your age group are generally (not saying you, saying generally) looking for something with a bit more substance, not eager to keep playing the field if they can find someone suitable with whom to settle back down.
Then you've got MagnoliaThunder's response: "And THAT's why we woman like younger men! No attitudes, honest eagerness and appreciation! Ta da!!!!!"
Just think in terms of the flip-side of that. It's brutal and flippant, smacks of bitterness as tangible as the responses of many of the men who have posted -- but it's honest. Men who aren't interested in settling down or having a long-term relationship think precisely those things -- pursuing younger women means little attitude to deal with, honest eagerness and appreciation, for so long as it lasts.
Which means "not you".
I'd say if a man showed enough interest to talk to you and give you his phone number you might be well served to stop lamenting that he's not the one taking all the risk and just pick up the bloody phone instead. Would you expect him to shoulder ALL the risk once you were IN a relationship?
If the answer is no, then what makes this different? If it's not romantic enough for you, then welcome to the world of divorcees, the modern dating game and most of all, the pitfalls that come with equality. NOTHING is perfect and you can't have it both ways.
Because the chase is old and regulated to high-school and college aged horn dogs.
I'm interested but that doesn't mean I'm going to unnecessarily be made to look like a fool to prove my love to you.
It's a give and take thing
That's real talk. If you're interested in me, you have to make the first move and vice versa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oildog
Dont confuse THAT with being horny. Most younger men find older women are easier and less BS than younger ones.
Not really. Older women tend to come with a lot more baggage because they're at a different stage in life than younger men. Depending on the age gap, some older women mistake younger men for being immature.
Wow.....what a lot of great responses. Tried to rep you Urban, but CD keeps saying I have to spread it around, even tho I have!
Sounds pretty brutal for the 40+ crowd, men or women. Ugh.
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Default Why don't men pursue women anymore?
