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Wanting someone who has a job and is not overweight is not picky or shallow. It just means you want an adult who knows how to take care of himself.
No, not "picky" or "shallow."
It's just setting yourself up for something that becomes wildly variable in your 40s, both for yourself and for the people you date.
Honestly? Most folks I know in my age group have mellowed out a little bit. Even if those are qualities they find appealing, they know that life throws curve balls, and they know that at this age, it appears naive and almost churlish to actually spell such criteria out in an online dating profile. You know what you want and you know it when you see it, and if someone is not to your liking, you can say "no thank you" and move on. You don't owe the world an explanation. Likewise, there's no need to be blunt to the point of being rude about it by providing one in excruciating detail, complete with percentages.
Many men have a "mommy complex", but not all women over 40 can bank on finding a guy with that kind of disfunction.
I have to disagree with you strongly on that. Avienne is correct: many men have gone through "10s" without finding that connection beyond physical...sure, that's your dream girl, but after a few sexual encounters the kind of man that mature, evolved women want to hang around are those who are looking for more...and that's what they get with women like us...more in every way.
By the way, no "mommy complexes" either...I have had a couple of former lovers who married "age-appropriate" women and had children then leave those marriages and come back to me, hoping to rekindle...although I do not do that, the friendships are in tact and I'm also feeling very appreciated...so, be conservative when you talk about men with the mommy complexes, because that is not always the case, not even by half.
women over 40 are in no position to be picky when they have to compete with all the FRESH and YOUNG Chicks under 30
No wonder you have so much trouble getting dates. You have no clue about women at all, and certainly not those over 40....many times those fresh young chicks are competing with US.
Location: An overgrown 350K person suburb of Saint Paul
383 posts, read 900,790 times
Reputation: 248
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The word you want is trawling, not trolling.
The exact word I'm looking for is trolling. But then again, you think cooking and weightlifting are outdoor activities. I gotta love you New Yorkers.
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I'm not looking for a man currently - I am looking for myself.
You're in your 40s and you're still looking for yourself?
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This message board is a tool to put my thoughts out there without having to bother my friends and family about my every thought and question.
See a shrink.
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I don't want to be so self-indulgent that I demand their attention day in and day out. Here, people can read my words and comment, or they can pass them by.
And sometimes, those comments may not be the candy and roses you expect to see, especially when you behave in an antisocial manner.
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You chose to stop and talk to my handle, which is great for me. But it's a bit odd for you, since you aren't getting anything out of it. Or perhaps you are - perhaps you get pleasure from ridiculing strangers online.
That's just part of it. I get extra pleasure from ridiculing self centered and greedy strangers online.
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If so, carry on. But if you need to literally upset me in order to achieve your goal, I am afraid that isn't going to happen.
I agree, no unemployed person should be looking for a companion
Well if they're unemployed, it makes good sense to look for a companion that is working. Obviously it works for some, what better way to get a free place to live, someone buying food and paying the bills.
Using my phone, so this is a brief place holder for later.
I'm thinking that at 40 and beyond, one needs to be able to answer a couple of basic questions in order to have a succesful relationship: who are you? What are you about?
Who you are isn't answered by your job, by your recreational activites, by parental status, by race or by age. It's not an easy question, really. It didn't matter in ones 20s or 30s, bt it matters more as you get older. When you are 30, "I just like hanging you with so and so" is enough, but it is t anymore.
Sure, a lot of people - especially men because they can, but women do it too - avoid the issue by dating younger. I have occasionally dabbled with younger men, and it absolutley is a real benefit to dating htem. It's easier. There's no unspoken question "who are you" to answer. Men really benefit from this, because they can show their accomplishments to a younger woman; she's not yet reached he stage where she's wondering who you are as it relates to personal character.
At this point though it is very glaring when a person can't answer the question; and we know it even if he question isn't asked.
Well if they're unemployed, it makes good sense to look for a companion that is working. Obviously it works for some, what better way to get a free place to live, someone buying food and paying the bills.
I can only see a FAT or UGLY women supporting a unemployed man
women over 40 are in no position to be picky when they have to compete with all the FRESH and YOUNG Chicks under 30
You're wrong at least for some people. A friend of mine was an over 40 year old doctor with a high paying specialty. He said his cut off was age 40 for dating and marrying but he was going to move it up to 45 years old because he said too many women 40-45 were still having a biological baby clock going off, he felt 45 and over would be safer as far as the pitter-patter of little feet.
Another professional said he was relieved to be over 40 because his relationships would always end when the biological clock alarms went off. He said he liked women that were past that stage more. He felt they were more fun, more interesting, less desperate.
Now for men who want a large family, it's better to go with under 30.
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