Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think that a statement really works when I can be viewed positively on it's own, rather than being viewed as better than a number of alternatives. Sure, having loving children is probably more fulfilling than flying to Ibiza to have anonymous sex in the back of a nightclub... But is THAT what makes you a better person? Is that who you are: a woman who is enjoys her home life enough that she DOESNT want to have sex in a nightclub in Ibiza?
I don't have kids, but there are a number of other things about me which are great compared to the alternatives. I am thinking it does not.
My guess is, the best things about who you are don't have to be compared to something worse. They just stand on their own.
Well most people are looking to have some kind of need met when they're looking for someone else to be with.
That's why different things work for different people. A man raising children might like to hear that a woman is a mother and puts motherhood ahead of other activities. However a man wanting to travel may want a travel companion with money and free time. Or a man who never wanted kids of his own will run as fast as he could away.
Or someone looking for someone to share time going to concerts or sports events may look for someone who enjoys doing those things. So yes - they may stand on their own but probably everyone's got pros and cons that will be compared.
Woman A - homemaker, a little older, but secure and stable, good cook.
Woman B - career oriented, more money, too independent.
Woman C - hot and young, carefree but won't date old guys which rules her out for old guys.
Woman D - hot and young, has kids, needs a breadwinner, dependent but needs money, doesn't rule out old guys with money.
Most people would not stay in a job that they had no talent for, or the necessary characteristics for. I was in market research for all of a week. It didn't suit me, and so I ddin't remain in the job.
But I have frequently found myself working with freight and stocking shelves. Why? Because I have characteristics that allow me to excel at that job.
So if we were sitting somewhere one and one and I asked, "who is TKramer? What is it TKramer is about?" you would answer "I stock shelves. I am a shelf-stocker."?
I wonder if this is more of a male thing: you are what you do for a living.
Well most people are looking to have some kind of need met when they're looking for someone else to be with.
That's why different things work for different people. A man raising children might like to hear that a woman is a mother and puts motherhood ahead of other activities. However a man wanting to travel may want a travel companion with money and free time. Or a man who never wanted kids of his own will run as fast as he could away.
Or someone looking for someone to share time going to concerts or sports events may look for someone who enjoys doing those things. So yes - they may stand on their own but probably everyone's got pros and cons that will be compared.
Woman A - homemaker, a little older, but secure and stable, good cook.
Woman B - career oriented, more money, too independent.
Woman C - hot and young, carefree but won't date old guys which rules her out for old guys.
Woman D - hot and young, has kids, needs a breadwinner, dependent but needs money, doesn't rule out old guys with money.
And the list goes on.
I have no quibble with your post, I think it is true. But in answering the question, "Who are you?" I still don't see how "I am mother, my children are my life" answers the question favorably.
Perhaps the answer, "I am a loving person who is willing to sacrifice personally for the people i truly love" is more accurate, and is in fact more favorable to the person who asked the question as well as the person who is answering?
Okay - but for all the women who want a man and claim that they wouldn't hold it against one to not have a job, then why don't we see more women volunteering at homeless shelters where they could definitely find one?
Irrelevant.
Aside from the gazillion degrees and levels of difference between someone who is out of work and someone who is homeless and living on the streets (with all the challenges that often go with that), there is a world of difference between not minding if someone is out of work when you meet him and using charity work to pick up a homeless guy just because he's homeless.
I will admit that a year ago when I was online just looking for a PHONE BUDDY because I was unemployed, there were a couple of women who wanted to take it past friendship which was surprising.
Maybe it was because I lived alone and didn't seem depressed or worried about my current status. Now if I was living and home and unemployed that would have been a little different.
So if we were sitting somewhere one and one and I asked, "who is TKramer? What is it TKramer is about?" you would answer "I stock shelves. I am a shelf-stocker."?
I wonder if this is more of a male thing: you are what you do for a living.
Obviously, there are characteristics that a good shelf stocker will have. Strength, attention to detail, organizational skills...
Obviously, there are characteristics that a good shelf stocker will have. Strength, attention to detail, organizational skills...
I completely agree. 100%.
But still I point to my question: If we were sitting somewhere one and one and I asked, "Who is TKramer? What is it TKramer is about?" you would answer "I stock shelves. I am a shelf-stocker."?
But still I point to my question: If we were sitting somewhere one and one and I asked, "Who is TKramer? What is it TKramer is about?" you would answer "I stock shelves. I am a shelf-stocker."?
Onglet, surely nobody asks that. Only you can say what personal characteristics, traits or specs best define you and what weight you give to each.
On paper two people can have the same basic set of stats, but while one person may place emphasis on one, someone else will place emphasis on another.
It's for the receiver to determine what they interpret that to mean about you. You can never please everybody, which gets me back to my original point of being happy with what you are and have done. There is no better filter than that to weed out those that just aren't worth your time.
Yes. That is what I would say. I am what I do. To do is to be.
Do be do be do.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
