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First of all, it's Peace Corps. Secondly, completing the application process isn't like joining the military and doesn't even constitute a binding contract; if someone wants to bow out at any point, they can, no medical excuse required. Thirdly, how is teaching, in Japan or elsewhere, not a "real job"?
even in the military, you aren't in until you swear in AGAIN at basic training.
Its crazy how many times you swear in.
And then you can still go home from there. We lost at least 10 people in the first days of basic.
What if our daughter was thinking "I left all of my friends, a city that I loved, a full time job & part time time job, my volunteer commitments, my social life. I gave up my entire life for two years to come home. I would have earned at least $25,000 to $35,000 if I had worked as a private hire caregiver for a different family, but I did it for free.Mom & Dad owe ME."
(BTW, she does NOT think that way, but many people definitely would.)
BrassTacksGal, I don't think that you are seeing the full picture here. My daughter is doing all that she can to minimize that $200 a month. She is selling clothing, her old toys, books and things like that. She has cut her expenses to the bone for months.
In addition, since she will be gone she will not be on our cell phone plan or car insurance. And there are other ways to cut down our expenses, too or sell things.
I'm sorry that I even mentioned that stupid student loan payment in this thread, as that is not the main issue that is scary. It is scary to lose someone who was a valuable support, and provided a significant amount of comfort and help. It is scary to think that a person that I have talked to on the phone or in person daily for the past years I may not even be able to talk to for several weeks (depending on where she is placed) and I won't see her for at least 27 months. That is pretty scary.
Unfortunately it's the nature of threads. Financial issues are easy to focus on. For my part, I wasn't commenting as much on your specific situation as I was for future people (who knows who may read these threads?) - because private loans are awful, and if they can be avoided, they should.
However, neither here nor there in your daughter's case.
I'm sure it is scary that for you that a large part of your support network will be away - but you will manage. You've managed this far - whether you originally thought you could or not, you've done it. You've gotten your husband through illness/falls; you've learned to deal with his sometimes irrationality (the pepsi saga, the pillows and linens) with humor. You've done it all much better than many others, many of whom would have likely divorced their now disabled spouse and thrown them into an institution.
So you'll get through this.
If you need to vent, or need cheerleaders - this forum certainly seems to enjoy those activities. So people will be here.
If you need physical help - you've already got some of that lined up, and if your original choice doesn't work - you'll find another.
You're resourceful, and if your daughter is anything like her parents, she'll also be resourceful and handle this opportunity with stellar results.
And 27 months - while not an inconsiderable time, will go by fairly quickly. More than you'd think.
You got this Germaine.
Last edited by Briolat21; 08-23-2016 at 01:39 PM..
Reason: typo
I'm sorry that I even mentioned that stupid student loan payment in this thread, as that is not the main issue that is scary. It is scary to lose someone who was a valuable support, and provided a significant amount of comfort and help. It is scary to think that a person that I have talked to on the phone or in person daily for the past years I may not even be able to talk to for several weeks (depending on where she is placed) and I won't see her for at least 27 months. That is pretty scary.
Don't be sorry! Please see if she can consolidate them with the federal government. If they can be consolidated through the US Dept of Ed, she can easily get a forbearance or deferment. They are VERY easy to work with! Private lenders are NOT. Not at all! They all pretty much SUCK.
Sorry Germaine, I did not realize your daughter quit a job to come help you out when I thought it financially irresponsible. Wish her well on her mission.
I am really sorry that you will be in effect losing your best friend as well as co-caretaker. That truly sucks. Taking all that on alone without the benefit of even phone calls will be hard.
There are people, especially women on social security who would jump at the chAnce for free room in exchange for some help with your husband. It's kind of off the books but that wouldn't bother me.You would have to vet somebody carefully but these people need help as much as you need help. My parents found just such a woman to help them out with my grandmother and it worked out well. Somebody might have a part time night job and be available to help you during the day. Ask around.
There are people, especially women on social security who would jump at the chAnce for free room in exchange for some help with your husband. It's kind of off the books but that wouldn't bother me.You would have to vet somebody carefully but these people need help as much as you need help. My parents found just such a woman to help them out with my grandmother and it worked out well. Somebody might have a part time night job and be available to help you during the day. Ask around.
Germaine, I've had several relatives and friends who served in the Peace Corps, and they all consider it the most exciting period of their lives. I think it is wonderful that you are willing to take on the added responsibilities and other "scary" aspects of this in order for your daughter to fulfill her dreams and pursue this adventure. There is obviously much love and respect between you.
Just a quick comment on this - First, really glad for your daughter's opportunity.
Secondy - word of warning to others, this is really why cosigning student loans can be financially dangerous.
Private loans are a scourge, and yes, often you will be directed to private loans from the financial aid office of your university. Public (federally backed) loans for undergraduates are fairly minimal (I want to say under $10K / year) which with the cost of housing/food; can quickly be exceeded.
For that reason, students with no other source of support often turn to private loans, not realizing that the protections of federal loans (income based repayment, deferment, pay off for public service, etc..) are not extended to private loans; but private loans still enjoy the same penalties (garnishment of wages, inability to be discharged through bankruptcy, etc..).
Evil.
Sorry to hear you'll have to cover these while she's away, but it is a great opportunity for her. Hopefully once she returns and gets gainful employment, she will once again take that burden off of you.
Congrats to you (and your daughter!) on this excitement!
Bingo! You hit the nail on the head.
My daughter called the University Financial Aid office today and the person immediately recognized that those were "Private Loans" even though they were completely handled through the University.
Briolat was correct, they have none of the benefits, NO deferments, NO low income based repayment, NO pay off for public services, etc. etc. and all of the penalties & problems of Federal Loans. The person said that many people call with problems with those loans.
I think that if Germaine wants to help make the Peace Corps happen for her DD, it is none of our business. After reading almost all of the posts since I've been gone, I think that Germaine will figure this out. I hope your daughter has a good experience in the Peace Corps. I hope that she discovers some reason that the monthly $200 can be postponed.
I hope Germaine can call on her son to do a bit more in some way, and that her relatives will be so proud of her daughter that they willingly give her some monetary support. Germaine, I think it is OK to ask them to help out. They all know your circumstances.
But basically, I think this is Germaine's call and she should make it.
Wow, what exciting news!!!!! I just got back and am catching up on all the threads and this is GREAT news overall. I'm really sorry about the student loan thing but as you say - this is her dream and she sounds like a wonderful daughter who has been a huge blessing to you for the past several years.
Now I'm going to catch up reading the rest of the thread.
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