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He has a wife and two kids without a real job. That sounds kinda backwards, doesn't it? Don't people usually have a job before having kids? Just sayin'.........
It is not unusual for a post-doc in the sciences. He has been in college or doing research/training after receiving his PhD for 15 years and has a year or two to go before he is considered fully "trained". It is not like a career where you go to college for four years and then start as a full fledged accountant or teacher or businessman or nurse or whatever.
Last edited by germaine2626; 08-22-2016 at 09:04 AM..
Congratulations to OPs daughter and a "Job Well Done!" to the OP. Germaine, you have raised two outstanding children. You should be proud of both of them AND give yourself a pat on the back. Now, go celebrate. It will all work out.
Germaine, you definitely are a very gracious soul. Your family is lucky to have you. And your comments about your DH's sense of humor in the other thread made me smile. We have to take the chuckles where we can get them don't we.
Another thing that is a potential problem (at least for me) is that the Peace Corp is a volunteer position. She will be paid $325 a month, out of which she will need to pay for her housing, her food and all of her expenses in her African village.
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In fact, the loans can not even be put on a hiatus or break for the time that she is gone. It is $200 a month, every month.
I am sorry, but I think your daughter is incredibly selfish. While her wanting to be a part of the Peace Corps is wonderful in theory, charity begins at home, and in her case, literally within her own core family.
If it were my father, I would have put a hold on my life until you, my mother, could afford financially, emotionally, and physically, for me to be gone for so long.
I think you are an angel here on earth, and I do not understand how your kids can be so different from you as to leave you so helpless while their father needs such a high level of care. It just baffles me.
DD and I discussed things like Go Fund Me. Apparently, any type of crowdfunding is strictly, strictly forbidden by the Peace Corp. Apparently some people slip through the cracks and do a Go Fund Me appeal to do things like pay off their credit card bills, buy needed supplies for their service, or pay off student loans that are not covered by the government exemption/pay off plan. However, if they are caught doing this they will be kicked out of the Peace Corp.
I wonder why? Seems kind of stupid, but I guess they probably have a good reason.
So YOU open a Go Fund Me in YOUR name, do not mention the Peace Corp on it, and just spread the word through the grapevine. You can then parcel the money out to her while she's over there. Would that work? I don't know.
Could the brother be persuaded to loan your daughter the $2400 to cover her student loans for two years?
Germaine said that she would be gone possibly up to 2-1/2 years. So that would be $6000.
I'm wondering if the money given to her from family and friends, at least $6000 of it (if she gets more than that...and she possibly could, depending on how big a circle of family/friends you all have) could be set aside in a bank account for you to pay her student loans with while she's gone? Or maybe half that, and you could pay $100/month, if it wouldn't be too much of a financial hardship.
I'm glad I read all the posts and saw the one in which you explained what all she has sacrificed to help you and your husband. I understand why you want to help her with this and are willing to sacrifice to do it. We love them and want the best for them, don't we?
Last edited by Luvvarkansas; 08-22-2016 at 12:13 PM..
Germaine, I've been reading this thread and have been struck with your grace under pressure dealing with so many differing opinions. It's a tricky situation, and I just hope everything works out for you all.
Germaine said that she would be gone possibly up to 2-1/2 years. So that would be $6000.
I'm wondering if the money given to her from family and friends, at least $6000 of it (if she gets more than that...and she possibly could, depending on how big a circle of family/friends you all have) could be set aside in a bank account for you to pay her student loans with while she's gone? Or maybe half that, and you could pay $100/month, if it wouldn't be too much of a financial hardship.
I'm glad I read all the posts and saw the one in which you explained what all she has sacrificed to help you and your husband. I understand why you want to help her with this and are willing to sacrifice to do it. We love them and want the best for them, don't we?
I did not mention asking anyone for money. Nor did our daughter ask for or receive money from anyone.
Families are different. My extended family normally does not give birthday or Christmas gifts or gifts for other reasons (except for things like wedding presents). For example, I have read online & know personally about HS or college grads receiving huge amounts of monetary gifts from relatives & friends at graduation parties or housewarming parties or going-away parties. Our two children received a grand total of zero dollars for their HS & college graduations. I am certainly not complaining as my family is supportive in other ways. But, families are different. They would never, ever let anyone in our family be homeless or starve but giving money (or presents) to siblings or nieces or nephews is not something that we do.
You may have been confusing me with the poster who said that the person that they knew who went into the Peace Corp had "moderately" wealthy parents (or something like that) and the support of their church, plus a large going away party where people contributed what sounded like a substantial amount of money (including enough money for the parents to visit the child in Africa & the child to come back from Africa to the US for a visit).
Last edited by germaine2626; 08-22-2016 at 12:41 PM..
To the person who repped me with the following: "She did put her life on hold for 2 YEARS. Now things have stabilized and she can resume her life. I would NEVER call a kid that did that selfish.I would call a parent who expected a kid to be their perpetual caretaker VERY selfish."
Things have not stabilized. Her husband is still in need of round-the-clock care, and germaine2626 has no time for herself, is already stressed out to the max financially, and now going to be left taking care of her student loans, in addition to everything else.
As a daughter, I would never in my heart feel good about leaving my mother in such a position, especially after seeing how hard she has had it the past two years.
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