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Thank you for all of your kind comments. Everything really adds up fast. DD has been trying to use as many things as she can that she already has, her old backpack & tote bags, her clothes & shoes from her closet, etc. etc.
From buying plenty of extra socks & underwear (when you may have to wash your clothes in a river or a bucket you want to bring along plenty of things that may be harder to replace), to two large pieces of luggage (she does not have her own suitcases, usually she either borrowed luggage from me or from a friend), to other odds and ends it starts to become rather pricey even before you leave.
Even though there is only a 50/50 chance that she will have regular access to electricity the Peace Corp does recommend that everyone bring a laptop and several external hard drives. Unfortunately DD's current laptop is already over four years old and probably will not last another two and half years so that is another expense. Frankly, since most of the documents and materials typed & stored on the laptops would be related to the job/role/responsibilities as a Peace Corp volunteer it does seem odd that they would not provide a lap top, but they don't.
Our family is not a "gift giving" family so DD normally does not receive any birthday or Christmas or other gifts from anyone beside her dad and me and sometimes her brother. However, if anyone does ask about sending a "care package" I can suggest that a monetary gift would be greatly appreciated. Even sending a fairly small care package may cost $50 in postage, plus the cost of the contents. With her monthly income only $325, even a few extra dollars would go a long, long way. DD already told me that she probably would need the money far, far more than wasting it on postage & gifts (if I decided to send her a care package).
I would hold off on the new laptop. A new one will be probably $1000 which if she didn't buy it would give her another $75 per month, which is a lot given what she is making. If it fails, couldn't you always just ship a new one? I would also think that a new laptop might be more apt to be stolen.
I did not realize you were responsible for your daughter's loan payments. As someone else pointed out, she can not afford to go. If you do not make the payments, you apparently co-signed for, your credit rating will suffer.
It is not cool to leave your Mom to make your loan payments, period. I do not care what your dream is. It is you who would be buying her dream opportunity.
If she sold every possession and has enough banked for you to cover the payments in her absence, that would be one thing. Otherwise, I see it as utterly selfish thing to do.
I would double check loan paperwork to be certain that you co-signed.
I was a very tough decision for our DD. In fact, she let me make the final decision if she should reapply after hubby's TBI. But, as a parent I felt that I could not deny her an opportunity that she had been dreaming about & planning for since she was in high school. DH is my husband and my responsibility.
Just like I won't tell my adult son to leave his family & job, 2,000 miles away and move home to help me/us. The bottom line is that DH is my husband and my responsibility.
Please don't take this the wrong way, because I truly, truly admire the alturistic spirit that would prompt someone to take on an arduous task such as the Peace Corps. One of my coworker's daughters just finished a stint with the PC somewhere in Africa, and found it to be a profoundly life-changing experience. However, she had the support of a modestly wealthy family and active church who was able to provide her with a steady flow of money and supplies to supplement the measly supplement provided by the PC, and who was able to fly to Africa to visit her and to pay for a ticket for her to come back and visit them. Plus, we held a going-away party for her to help provide things that she would need (and to slip a few dollars in her pocket.)
BUT -- putting the decision on you was, IMO, unfair to you. It took away from her the responsibility for making a very difficult decision, while at the same time being pretty sure that you would not stand in her way. It may be her dream, but it's coming at such a cost, both emotionally and financially for you. He may be your husband -- but he's her father, and you are her mother. I am not blaming you for this -- to be honest, I'd probably end up doing the same thing. But I don't think I'd have taken the responsibility for making the decision out of her hands.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
DD and I discussed things like Go Fund Me. Apparently, any type of crowdfunding is strictly, strictly forbidden by the Peace Corp. Apparently some people slip through the cracks and do a Go Fund Me appeal to do things like pay off their credit card bills, buy needed supplies for their service, or pay off student loans that are not covered by the government exemption/pay off plan. However, if they are caught doing this they will be kicked out of the Peace Corp.
Well, I think the PC is full of **** for this position. GoFundMe is strictly voluntary -- what's the difference between people handing you a $50 bill and saying, "Good luck!" or entering it on a website? On the other hand, I can see where the PC would like to avoid the appearance of impropriety, and also avoid having people cyber-panhandle by using the PC as their reason when they have no intention of pursuing the PC.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
DD and I were discussing the financial commitment the other day. It is pretty clear that unless you are a slightly older volunteer who had worked a number of years with good paying jobs that allows you to pay down/off your non-federal student loans, have zero credit card debt and extra money to buy what you need before you go & during your years of service OR have family that is willing and able to help you out financially you may not be able to afford to serve in the Peace Corp.
And how many people are there like THAT wandering around? Not many, I'm thinking.
Has she considered one of the Peace Corps Response programs, with a six-month commitment instead of a 27 month commitment?
I understand that this is your daughter's dream, but it sounds dreadful. She's paid next to nothing, may have to live without electricity, can't even visit her family for over two years and is expected to travel on $25 a month. That's just ridiculous. The Peace Corps must not have adjusted their pay since 1970! How do they get anyone to agree to live like this?
Don't forget that the Peace Corp is considered a volunteer commitment. The PC is constantly updating their payment scale as it is based on what a "average" person in that country would be earning. Peace Corp volunteers are expected to live like the people that they are serving in that community. If your neighbors live in mud huts, you live in a mud hut. If your neighbors live in tin roofed shacks, you live in a tin roofed shack. If your neighbors live in small apartments (as in a larger city), you live in a small apartment. The Peace Corp does promise that that each volunteer has a private bedroom or sleeping area that can be locked. Although, it probably is pretty difficult to do that in villages where the houses do not doors or windows.
BTW, a Peace Corp member can travel home during the 27 months, as they do earn some vacation time, they just have to pay for the trip themselves.
DD and I were discussing the financial commitment the other day. It is pretty clear that unless you are a slightly older volunteer who had worked a number of years with good paying jobs that allows you to pay down/off your non-federal student loans, have zero credit card debt and extra money to buy what you need before you go & during your years of serviceOR have family that is willing and able to help you out financially you may not be able to afford to serve in the Peace Corp.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dblackga
And how many people are there like THAT wandering around? Not many, I'm thinking.
Has she considered one of the Peace Corps Response programs, with a six-month commitment instead of a 27 month commitment?
DD says that with the tough competition to get into the Peace Corp today (it was very different in the past) there are many, many more people who leave professional jobs to serve. In fact, in some countries and areas of service unless you have a Master's degree or are a nurse, engineer, doctor or similar professional you can not even apply.
I believe that you can only apply for the six month commitment after you have already served the 27 commitment.
Germaine, you are very generous. My husband and I have had to put off our dreams to due elderly parent illness obligations. It would have been ideal if your daughter could have found volunteer work with HIV patients here in the US.
I know you aren't asking for advice, but from everything you have posted, I can't see how your family can possibly support your daughter's dream. You have had to stop working to care for your husband; your family desperately needs one adult who is working for pay. I know she gave up 2 years of her life and career opportunities to come home and help, and now you want her to have opportunities again, but taking on her loan payments while on a limited income just doesn't seem viable. Perhaps she can volunteer for an organization like the Peace Corps when she is older and more established.
Germaine, you are very generous. My husband and I have had to put off our dreams to due elderly parent illness obligations. It would have been ideal if your daughter could have found volunteer work with HIV patients here in the US.
I wish you all the best in the coming years.
Actually, one of the main reasons that my daughter was selected for the Peace Corp was due to her extensive volunteer experience with HIV/AIDS which started when she was only a freshman in high school. For many years she volunteered an average of ten hours a week in responsible positions, including training & supervising other volunteers.
I am sorry that you and your spouse had to put off your dreams due to your commitment to elderly parents. Our situation is a little different, as DD was only 14 when her dad started becoming disabled and was still in college when he became permanently disabled.
IMHO, it would be a crime to force a young adult to potentially give up their entire adult life to assist in the care of a parent. In the unlikely event that I die before my husband I have already told our adult children that it would be my recommendation that their dad be immediately placed in a nursing home (locked memory unit as he needs 24/7 supervision/care) rather than quit their jobs to care for him fulltime.
Last edited by germaine2626; 08-21-2016 at 11:15 AM..
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