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How old is she? Maybe join the military instead. Get paid to do the job and also pay off those loans.
This ^^^^
The Peace Corps model is outdated. We have plenty of people suffering right now in the US. She can go on a church missionary trip down to LA and help with flood clean up for a couple of weeks if her urge to help is so strong. Otherwise, she needs to be paying off her loans and supporting the family, either financially or with direct help.
You are not doing yourself or her any favors promoting this trip. She has obligations. This is part of being an adult.
Also, why would you send your only daughter to a foreign country where she could get tortured and raped or killed? Don't you realize how unstable the politics are? You both need to wake up to the realities of 2016. At least in the military, they'll teach her to shoot back.
I don't think anyone is suggesting she should give up her entire life to take care of her father. The issue is her loans. Surely, there is work she can do in her field that will provide her with enough income to make payments. She can apply again to the Peace Corps when she is in a stronger financial situation. It would be one thing if you are and your husband were healthy and employed, but you have more on your plate than most people could ever imagine. The stress from all this could ruin your health, and that would truly devastate your daughter.
The Peace Corps model is outdated. We have plenty of people suffering right now in the US. She can go on a church missionary trip down to LA and help with flood clean up for a couple of weeks if her urge to help is so strong. Otherwise, she needs to be paying off her loans and supporting the family, either financially or with direct help.
You are not doing yourself or her any favors promoting this trip. She has obligations. This is part of being an adult.
Also, why would you send your only daughter to a foreign country where she could get tortured and raped or killed? Don't you realize how unstable the politics are? You both need to wake up to the realities of 2016. At least in the military, they'll teach her to shoot back.
There was a story published last year about the attacks on women volunteers - a hidden dirty little secret. I'll try to find the source.
I don't think anyone is suggesting she should give up her entire life to take care of her father. The issue is her loans. Surely, there is work she can do in her field that will provide her with enough income to make payments. She can apply again to the Peace Corps when she is in a stronger financial situation. It would be one thing if you are and your husband were healthy and employed, but you have more on your plate than most people could ever imagine. The stress from all this could ruin your health, and that would truly devastate your daughter.
yea - as you get older, you realize how much time you actually had to do the things you wanted to do. And sometimes once you do them, you find out it wasn't that great anyway.
Didn't Jimmy Carter's mom join the peace corps when she was in her 60s?
This ^^^^
Otherwise, she needs to be paying off her loans and supporting the family, either financially or with direct help.
This is a bit harsh. Her brother is allowed to pursue higher education, and a career and have his own family, but the daughter needs to support her parents? That just doesn't seem right to me. I do agree that she needs to pay back her loans, as her parents are not in the position to do so without great hardship, even though they want to.
The Peace Corps is a wonderful opportunity, that is life changing, and will open up future doors.
The timing is bad.
And your daughter is being financially irresponsible.
Long before applying for Peace Corps, she should have had a plan for how to address her student loans. The payments she will have to keep up are not outlandish, so she should have already been working extra jobs to save that money to pay them off while she could be away with the Peace Corps.
You could explain this to her. If you pay them off for her, she should be paying you back, with interest, when she returns.
This is an important lesson.
Investing $1000 new computer for her is.... unwise. The risk of it being stolen is incredibly high, the risk of it being broken is very high. And if her current computer is still working, it absolutely does not need to be replaced. My computer I am using now is a laptop I have had for 8 years and it is completely fine. And $1000 is too expensive computer for her needs anyway. My brother is an advanced computer programmer/scientist and he buys used/refurbished very inexpensive computers that are completely adequate.
She can buy a cheap, working, refurbished completely adequate computer for like .... a couple hundered online or even at a corner computer repair shop. She is not doing complex work requiring advanced programs. Shoot... you probably even KNOW people who have extra computers at home that would lend/give her one, if needed. But she already has one....
You are incredibly understanding, and supportive.
But your financial situation has been devastated, and your planning must be very, very careful and your daughter is learning from your model. Remember, you may require Medicaid for your husband in the future, and gifts now could be subject to look-back. At a minimum, your daughter should understand that she must pay you back for her students loans. And she needs to know you/your husband's financial trajectory.
I suspect there is another issue at play (and I haven't read the whole thread....). You are also grateful for everything that she has done to contribute to you and your husband's hellish year, and you want to thank her support her for this. This is lovely. BUT... she still should be responsible. You don't mess around with student loans, and she dropped the ball. And please.... do not buy her an expensive computer. She needs to start learning to make do with what she has.
There's another thread you have running right now about hospital care and you mentioned that since you had to quit your job, you will probably have to borrow money to pay for food and bills. Is your daughter aware of this? It seems that you need to strike her "compassion chord" and make her see that this is too much of a financial burden for the family.
The Peace Corps model is outdated. We have plenty of people suffering right now in the US. She can go on a church missionary trip down to LA and help with flood clean up for a couple of weeks if her urge to help is so strong. Otherwise, she needs to be paying off her loans and supporting the family, either financially or with direct help.
You are not doing yourself or her any favors promoting this trip. She has obligations. This is part of being an adult.
Also, why would you send your only daughter to a foreign country where she could get tortured and raped or killed? Don't you realize how unstable the politics are? You both need to wake up to the realities of 2016. At least in the military, they'll teach her to shoot back.
All of the above.
This thread is a thinly-veiled attempt at getting around the Go Fund Me restriction.
I do wonder if the OP's son could help out, as his sister moved home and (if I remember correctly) resigned from a professional job to assist their parents, enabling him and his wife to continue their graduate educations and have another child. If he can lend his sister the loan money in return for her sacrifice which was partly on his behalf, maybe she can go.
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