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Old 02-17-2013, 10:42 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,037 posts, read 13,379,959 times
Reputation: 6750

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry10 View Post
Groundwork could have been done before you got there. Especially since you limited yourself to one month. Did I hear you correctly that you already spent $ 6000 for your trip to Charlotte? I need not count your money, but if true, I am curious -- what made the 17 day trip so expensive?
I think the main reason I came here is because I was anxious to get out of my parents' house and the guy who offered me to roommate with him had a pretty good deal, so I figured, why not give it a shot? But even with that said, that doesn't necessarily mean that the Charlotte area is better than some areas in CT. Charlotte is definitely my favorite non-Northeastern place to live though. It's great.

 
Old 02-17-2013, 10:50 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,037 posts, read 13,379,959 times
Reputation: 6750
Quote:
Originally Posted by meg31816 View Post
Following nep's "journey" is really alarming. nep, when you do land a job, and get health insurance, please DO seek counseling. You can try to spin your stories anyway you want, but no one here is buying it, and a well qualified therapist will see right through it also. I really see so much denial and it's scary. But I also see a lot of myself in you (and I'm only 26 lol). I have been to talk to someone though, and I grew up. I would really hate to see you 5 years from now, stuck in the same exact rut...and that is the path you are headed down.
I am not going to waste time and money seeing a therapist. Please. All they can do is condition your mind, but it's just a band aid to cover your true mental thought process. I don't need any therapy or counseling whatsoever.

I don't understand why people are saying such things, honestly. What's wrong with taking a hiatus from work, traveling the country and finding a new place to settle down? As soon as I secure employment, whether it be in Charlotte or somewhere back up in or near CT, my life will be on track once again, with the added benefit and security of knowing that I will be living in the best place for me. The rut will end very soon.

Many people choose to relocate. Perhaps not as radically as I have done it, but I only did that because I'm confident that I can secure employment in a reasonable amount of time.
 
Old 02-18-2013, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,044 posts, read 1,291,797 times
Reputation: 1123
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I am not going to waste time and money seeing a therapist. Please. All they can do is condition your mind, but it's just a band aid to cover your true mental thought process. I don't need any therapy or counseling whatsoever.

I don't understand why people are saying such things, honestly. What's wrong with taking a hiatus from work, traveling the country and finding a new place to settle down? As soon as I secure employment, whether it be in Charlotte or somewhere back up in or near CT, my life will be on track once again, with the added benefit and security of knowing that I will be living in the best place for me. The rut will end very soon.
Because everyone here, except for you, realizes that you will not secure employment or end up living anywhere other than at your parents' house any time soon, and if you do manage to get a job we know we'll hear you complaining about horrible it is and what an awful place you are living in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Many people choose to relocate. Perhaps not as radically as I have done it, but I only did that because I'm confident that I can secure employment in a reasonable amount of time.
You didn't relocate. You went on a little vacation.
 
Old 02-18-2013, 06:56 AM
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11,386 posts, read 9,862,532 times
Reputation: 6580
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I am not going to waste time and money seeing a therapist. Please. All they can do is condition your mind, but it's just a band aid to cover your true mental thought process. I don't need any therapy or counseling whatsoever.

I don't understand why people are saying such things, honestly. What's wrong with taking a hiatus from work, traveling the country and finding a new place to settle down? As soon as I secure employment, whether it be in Charlotte or somewhere back up in or near CT, my life will be on track once again, with the added benefit and security of knowing that I will be living in the best place for me. The rut will end very soon.

Many people choose to relocate. Perhaps not as radically as I have done it, but I only did that because I'm confident that I can secure employment in a reasonable amount of time.
You are still trying to spin it. As stated, you did not relocate. There is nothing wrong with touring the country to find a place that suits you, but people are getting on you because of the way you have gone about it since then.

You were so sure on other cities, then a split-second later you weren't. You keep flip flopping. You see one bad thing about a place and that changes your mind completely. Then you now have the idea of living in CT permanently.

That doesn't sound like someone who knows what they want. People are getting on you for those reasons, not because you're trying to find permanent settlement.

People look for new cities all the time, but never with the amount of craziness you are. Then you also didn't want your savings to deplete while looking for a job in Charlotte. That's part of moving without a job! Which you knew you were doing.

All this doesn't sound like you are nearing the end of your search, but rather stuck in the middle of it.
 
Old 02-18-2013, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Ubique
4,052 posts, read 2,933,439 times
Reputation: 2492
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I am not going to waste time and money seeing a therapist. Please. All they can do is condition your mind, but it's just a band aid to cover your true mental thought process. I don't need any therapy or counseling whatsoever.
I wouldn't get a shrink either. So lemme play shrink for you, just like everybody else:

1- I think you started this with the tail wagging the dog -- you did not put your career at focus. You got distracted with other things, lifestyle things, as more important than your career.

2- Secondly, you may be suffering from over-confidence. Over-confidence can hurt us as much as low self-esteem. We think that a great resume and acing interviews is plenty enough. They may be, but in this economy things might just happen slower.

3- You seem to think that based on your early success, you've made it. So now it's time to enjoy life!!

With these things you come across as a "spoiled brat", with weak work ethic, and lacking the willingness to sacrifice your comfort, and unwilling to make an investment in your future. You also seem to think that things come easy, because they have come easy in the past for you.

Ironically, I think that many people have the same problems, and moralize with you from rather their illusion of how things should have been for themselves. I for one, have had and still have some of the same problems you have. Over-confidence is one for example. So you're right -- when you put your job front and center, and have the attitude "hey look, I will do a great job" -- most problems will disappear.
 
Old 02-18-2013, 07:36 AM
 
Location: CT
1,930 posts, read 3,174,658 times
Reputation: 1419
Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry10 View Post
I wouldn't get a shrink either. So lemme play shrink for you, just like everybody else:

1- I think you started this with the tail wagging the dog -- you did not put your career at focus. You got distracted with other things, lifestyle things, as more important than your career.

2- Secondly, you may be suffering from over-confidence. Over-confidence can hurt us as much as low self-esteem. We think that a great resume and acing interviews is plenty enough. They may be, but in this economy things might just happen slower.

3- You seem to think that based on your early success, you've made it. So now it's time to enjoy life!!

With these things you come across as a "spoiled brat", with weak work ethic, and lacking the willingness to sacrifice your comfort, and unwilling to make an investment in your future. You also seem to think that things come easy, because they have come easy in the past for you.

Ironically, I think that many people have the same problems, and moralize with you from rather their illusion of how things should have been for themselves. I for one, have had and still have some of the same problems you have. Over-confidence is one for example. So you're right -- when you put your job front and center, and have the attitude "hey look, I will do a great job" -- most problems will disappear.

Right on
 
Old 02-18-2013, 08:33 AM
 
Location: New London County, CT
8,950 posts, read 9,817,051 times
Reputation: 5101
Recruiters recruit-- whether or not hey have a legitimate job opening, they want to build their file of employable people so when the time comes, they have loads of resumes to offer the prospective employer.

I know I have a small company and the ability to be agile, but, if I see a resume from someone I want to talk to about a job opening I have, I have them brought in for an interview immediately. The market for employees is competitive and I know the top tier won't be unemployed long. I want my chance to talk to them before they accept another position...

No interviews yet, and the month ends next Wednesday? I don't see this happening, Nep. I hope it does... But I don't think it looks good.
 
Old 02-18-2013, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Coastal Northeast
15,742 posts, read 22,004,068 times
Reputation: 5277
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlassoff View Post
No interviews yet, and the month ends next Wednesday? I don't see this happening, Nep. I hope it does... But I don't think it looks good.
It's only been three weeks. That's nothing.
 
Old 02-18-2013, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,037 posts, read 13,379,959 times
Reputation: 6750
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlassoff View Post
Recruiters recruit-- whether or not hey have a legitimate job opening, they want to build their file of employable people so when the time comes, they have loads of resumes to offer the prospective employer.

I know I have a small company and the ability to be agile, but, if I see a resume from someone I want to talk to about a job opening I have, I have them brought in for an interview immediately. The market for employees is competitive and I know the top tier won't be unemployed long. I want my chance to talk to them before they accept another position...

No interviews yet, and the month ends next Wednesday? I don't see this happening, Nep. I hope it does... But I don't think it looks good.
Well, all I can do is try, and I'm giving it my best effort. Meeting with recruiters - some of which have job openings, some don't - and applying to jobs, and networking when possible. I'm debating as to whether I should invest more of my savings to continue living here and seeking employment. Given the very competitive job market here (and unemployment at 9.4%) and my reluctance to touch anymore of my savings, unfortunately, I will probably have to leave. But that's okay. The job market is better in CT, and having done 10,000 miles worth of traveling, I can now see CT in a new way....a good way, at that. If I do have to return to CT, I am confident that I can find a job within about 100-miles of Hartford. And at least I can look back on this experience and know that I tried. Sometimes in life, we have to settle for whatever is available to us, especially when it comes to a job. Nonetheless, I have moved away from travel mode to job search mode. So, I am moving forward in a logical way, despite what others say on this forum. I want to join the work force again!
 
Old 02-18-2013, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Springfield and brookline MA
1,225 posts, read 2,416,802 times
Reputation: 1195
A month in a new place is like a weekend stay in the Bahamas........not long enough.
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