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Old 03-23-2017, 06:40 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,095 posts, read 3,918,635 times
Reputation: 18749

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
I don't know what's exactly unattractive about myself, people have just called me ugly throughout my life. I think my facial structure might be one problem. I figured I could consult with the surgeon prior to the surgery and see what he could do for me.


People have called you ugly to your face? Ask a trusted friend what about your appearance is "off". Is it the nose, weak chin, what?


I've told this story before when people have posted on here concerned about their looks: Back in the 90's, my assistant and I went to a customer service seminar in Raleigh, NC. The guy that gave the seminar had a nice physique but his face was a 1 or 2 at best. But you know what? He had the best personality and he was dressed like a male model. By the end of the night we were in love with him.


People who cultivate a good personality, have self confidence no matter what they look like, take an interest in other people by really listening to them and who dress as well as they afford have no problem finding love. If someone walks around like a Gloomy Gus because they think they are ugly are not going to attract the right people.
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Old 03-23-2017, 08:21 AM
 
709 posts, read 334,874 times
Reputation: 849
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
Yep. Your problem is DEFINITELY self-confidence. If you need others to make you feel good about yourself, that's a big problem.

Stop looking in to plastic surgery, and look for a therapist. Pronto. Or you're going to be wasting your money on the surgery because you will still lack self-confidence.
By feel good about myself, I meant she would compliment my appearance.
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Old 03-23-2017, 08:27 AM
 
709 posts, read 334,874 times
Reputation: 849
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
People have called you ugly to your face? Ask a trusted friend what about your appearance is "off". Is it the nose, weak chin, what?


I've told this story before when people have posted on here concerned about their looks: Back in the 90's, my assistant and I went to a customer service seminar in Raleigh, NC. The guy that gave the seminar had a nice physique but his face was a 1 or 2 at best. But you know what? He had the best personality and he was dressed like a male model. By the end of the night we were in love with him.


People who cultivate a good personality, have self confidence no matter what they look like, take an interest in other people by really listening to them and who dress as well as they afford have no problem finding love. If someone walks around like a Gloomy Gus because they think they are ugly are not going to attract the right people.
Yes, people have said it many times to my face. I actually DM'd someone on here a picture of myself last night and he gave me some advice about work I could potentially have done. I realize that there are other qualities that one can have that can make them more attractive but I actually want to be and feel attractive as well.
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Old 03-23-2017, 08:46 AM
Status: "So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late." (set 2 days ago)
 
3,261 posts, read 1,469,102 times
Reputation: 6356
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
People have called you ugly to your face? Ask a trusted friend what about your appearance is "off". Is it the nose, weak chin, what?


I've told this story before when people have posted on here concerned about their looks: Back in the 90's, my assistant and I went to a customer service seminar in Raleigh, NC. The guy that gave the seminar had a nice physique but his face was a 1 or 2 at best. But you know what? He had the best personality and he was dressed like a male model. By the end of the night we were in love with him.


People who cultivate a good personality, have self confidence no matter what they look like, take an interest in other people by really listening to them and who dress as well as they afford have no problem finding love. If someone walks around like a Gloomy Gus because they think they are ugly are not going to attract the right people.
I think it's interesting that you would ask this question. I wonder if you're trying to determine the true nature or extent of the problem, meaning that if people actually call you ugly to your face then there must be some significant appearance issue going on, or whether you doubt that people are actually this cruel?
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Old 03-23-2017, 09:04 AM
 
7,954 posts, read 3,862,498 times
Reputation: 27233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
By feel good about myself, I meant she would compliment my appearance.
And now that you don't have her complimenting your appearance, you don't feel good about yourself. My comments still stand.
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Old 03-23-2017, 09:21 AM
Status: "So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late." (set 2 days ago)
 
3,261 posts, read 1,469,102 times
Reputation: 6356
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylvia Vane View Post
Imagine if you were a 5'0 to 5'4 man, they do exist lol!
Yes they do. Real live people who might read comments her and who just experience their height as an issue in many aspects of their lives. And yet here you are adding to their issues with several gratuitous posts about men's height. How sweet.
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Old 03-23-2017, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,717 posts, read 59,563,864 times
Reputation: 26822
It depends. If you think people look attractive when they are surprised by something, then yes.
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Old 03-23-2017, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles County
11,062 posts, read 8,980,576 times
Reputation: 28987
Yes it can.
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Old 03-23-2017, 09:42 AM
 
2,241 posts, read 2,188,600 times
Reputation: 2224
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
I have good teeth already, my dentist told me that they were straight on my last visit. She asked if I ever used braces before (which I haven't) because they were so straight. I'm hoping that I will look better as I age, I was hoping puberty would do that for me but no luck so far. I think I have a mixture of all those qualities, my ex girlfriend said that she thought I was a very sweet and smart guy.
OP, the challenge is in your head. Your self-confidence is in the toilet. You just went through a break-up.

You are looking for constant re-affirmation and floundering because you aren't receiving it. At age 19, you don't need a dentist to tell you your teeth are straight - you can look in the mirror and tell that - its very easy. This lack of self-confidence is readily evident to the people around you and is the root of your feelings of inadequacies.

Do you have friends you can speak with or do things with to take your mind off your break-up?
Why did your girlfriend break up with you?
Don't make any rash decisions because of this troubled time you are in.
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Old 03-23-2017, 09:43 AM
 
2,241 posts, read 2,188,600 times
Reputation: 2224
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
And now that you don't have her complimenting your appearance, you don't feel good about yourself. My comments still stand.
Yes.
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