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As for living in a place where there are a few blacks like Minneapolis, Des Moines, and Austin, it doesn't bother me. As long as I'm welcomedby the majority of non-blacks, I'm ok being the only black person in social situations.
But this is something you can never be certain of because of the covert racism that you yourself mentioned earlier, and you could end up getting emotionally hurt more than you care to be. That is why I'm not comfortable being in all white situations. That is why I would recommend staying with the more coastal cities with the more diverse populations where you are more likely to find pockets of different types of people in truly mixed social settings and situations who are truly ok with different types of people. I think those places are safer for you psychosociologically. I'm the type of person who is not comfortable in an all white situation or an all black situation or an all Latin situation. The most comfortable I can remember ever being at a party was where a mixed couple, black male/white female, had quite a diverse group of friends, many Latin and race seemed to truly be not an issue. That was here in South Florida. I think you might find yourself more disillusioned in those midwestern cities and what you are looking for is the undiscovered city, but where I am right now is where I would most rather be and that is Miami. It might well be more the city you would like for it to be in the time frame you mentioned earlier, but there is no magic city even though that is Miami's nickname.
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Originally Posted by The_Fairfaxian
As for those who tell me to be proud of being black, I say thanks for the encouragement but I'm a person who takes more pride in my internal characteristics.
Here I would prefer to talk to you privately as I mentioned before, but you don't seem to want to do that. Okay, however, you think you can best work this out. There are some things that I simply won't say here, and I am a bit tired of having the same argument that I've been having with different people for 40 years now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Fairfaxian
And besides, I find it really counterproductive and pointless when you're told to have loyalty to a group whose majority will find continual fault because he wants to achieve success by educating himself academically, pull himself up by HIS OWN bootstraps, and doesn't want to do things exactly like everyone else of that race.
Here, I think you are getting yourself in trouble by generalizing a bit too much and actually coming off like some of the names some black people might have called you in the past. I think maybe you should think a little more about what you're saying here.
And besides, I find it really counterproductive and pointless when you're told to have loyalty to a group whose majority will find continual fault because he wants to achieve success by educating himself academically, pull himself up by HIS OWN bootstraps, and doesn't want to do things exactly like everyone else of that race.
That's your problem right there. I think you've got some internal issues you need to work out, because I seriously doubt you're the Great Black Hope that you think you are. No wonder you can't make any friends with any other Black folks; you think you're better than every other Black person out there apparently. You are honestly quite perplexing because my circle of Black friends and associates here in the Charlotte area are doing just that, going back to school for master's degrees and law degrees and medical degrees, yet they are quite comfortable with their Blackness and don't seek validation from their associations with non-Blacks. You need to do some serious self-examination and determine whether or not it is YOU who might be the problem and not the rest of us lowly, ig'nant Black folks.
That's your problem right there. I think you've got some internal issues you need to work out, because I seriously doubt you're the Great Black Hope that you think you are. No wonder you can't make any friends with any other Black folks; you think you're better than every other Black person out there apparently. You are honestly quite perplexing because my circle of Black friends and associates here in the Charlotte area are doing just that, going back to school for master's degrees and law degrees and medical degrees, yet they are quite comfortable with their Blackness and don't seek validation from their associations with non-Blacks. You need to do some serious self-examination and determine whether or not it is YOU who might be the problem and not the rest of us lowly, ig'nant Black folks.
I agree 100 percent. It's a matter of surrounding yourself with the right type of people. I have black friends that are educated and have set high standards. Those types of people help me make through day to day along with God. These people are what I considered successful and they are intelligent. Now they do make some mistakes as we all do because we are man and we are not perfect. The same as the OP and the other guy. I don't consider successful blacks as white, I consider as being black and successful. Just like you said above serious self-examination is needed, because I bet this guy is not as perfect as he is trying to make us seem. Because no one is perfect. I myself do not dress in a thug like manner, but I have seem people checking me out. No big deal though. I just keep my pride and keep stepping, I Man Up that's what I do. There is nowhere you can go in this world without being stereotyped. Face it and accept it. Even if you are another race it is the same way. And I know that the OP has done some things in his life so there is no need to act like you are Mr. Perfect because you are not. Human make mistakes everyday. As a matter of fact while you are walking around thinking you are better than every black person, I bet some black would not fool with you because they probably have more going on than you. This thread always seemed contrived to me anyways.
As for living in a place where there are a few blacks like Minneapolis, Des Moines, and Austin, it doesn't bother me. As long as I'm welcomed by the majority of non-blacks, I'm ok being the only black person in social situations. After being in a racially diverse area that has plenty of blacks but has a lot more racial strife (from all sides), I realize that demographic numbers aren't everything.
As for those who tell me to be proud of being black, I say thanks for the encouragement but I'm a person who takes more pride in my internal characteristics. And besides, I find it really counterproductive and pointless when you're told to have loyalty to a group whose majority will find continual fault because he wants to achieve success by educating himself academically, pull himself up by HIS OWN bootstraps, and doesn't want to do things exactly like everyone else of that race.
Well there you go right there. No wonder you can't make black friends. You are simply far too arrogant. You automatically associate being black with certain things and feel you must try to fit in with whites for your self worth to be valid.
I know all kinds of blacks in college and NONE of them would ever be mistaken for trying to be white. I really need to think about things before you come up with some of the assertions you do.
1) Never have I said or insinuated that I was perfect.
2) Sorry if tone sound too elitist, but let me clarify that the "no use of having racial pride due to the lack of acceptance by my own" statement applied mostly to the blacks who display extreme jealousy over anyone, especially one of their own, who are doing great things in life, which - for where I live - there are a lot of people like that in a close proximity. Maybe in Atlanta and Charlotte, blacks admire, desire, and embrace their educated and ambitious, but in the DC area, it's anything but when it comes to successfully blacks finding acceptance with their own "community." That message didn't apply to blacks who are doing great things like going to grad/law school or making a decent salary.
3) I would not mind associating with other blacks who are successful. The thing is, for quite a few other blacks I have personally ran into who are in this category (for where I live), they tend to either put on the "HBCU act" and exclude anyone who isn't a part of that group, or they personally don't want to associate with other blacks themselves.
Last edited by Do a Barrel Roll; 01-03-2010 at 12:02 PM..
That was a one-sided comment. I have white friends who exclude themselves from other types of whites. That's everyday life. Blacks is not the only race that distance themselves from others. As a matter of fact one of my white friends was telling me how his family distance themselves from other family members. Something we do in our own family. I know for a fact that I distance myself from 2 of my cousins because they are criminal minded. Whites also experience envy within their own race. That's why I said no one is perfect. White and Black people along with other races are not perfect either. As I said before we are all men and we fall short. Sure the same thing you said is happening here in Atlanta. But think about it people who are not doing what they should are going to be envy of another especially if they see what they like. Those are challenges that life brings to us everyday. Now to sit up here and think that the same stuff does not happen within the White race, you are totally wrong. I have whites friends that don't mess with their certain own kind as I do for myself. People are going to hate you in life. But you take that hate that people have towards you, and use that to make you a better and stronger person. Everyone has enemies, and we are going to be tested by them everyday. So face it and MAN UP.. Envy comes from the soul not the color of your skin.. I have had closed doors in my life that I can say was cause by my own color and other races, but more doors opened up for me because that's what my God had in store for me all along.
You mean like somebody perhaps working on their thesis for their sociology degree?
and guess what you are not the only one getting a degree. I already have a degree and I'm working on another one in Information Technology. You are not the only black guy achieving and trying to accomplish something here!
What you said was enough. That's all I need to know. And you are most definitely spared.
Well, I have your keen insight and judgment to thank for that, apparently.
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This thread always seemed contrived to me anyways.
