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Old 12-01-2009, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Chicago
6,005 posts, read 13,175,853 times
Reputation: 7956

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sorry, I see no real pros to being a teen mom, unless you're married and have a sound plan for the future in mind. teen moms, especially those who have kids under 18, have a harder time getting an education due to child rearing responsibilities, many are not married and quite a few are single moms. there's a major issue w/ finances as well. it's all well and fun to have the enrrgy to run w/ your kids, but think beyond playtime. how is a teen mother, especially a single mom under 18, going to afford diapers? formula? daycare? schooling? housing? going to relay on welfare, WIC, and Section 8 housing?

I know a ton of teen moms. one had a daughter at 16 while enrolled at a prestigious high school, got a full ride to Boston College, and has managed to get a degree, all while raising her daughter w/ help from her parents (father not involved at all). she's the exception to the general rule I've noticed in my life. I know quite a few teen moms that drop out of high school or had to take a year or two off and didn't graduate until 20-21 years old. some are stuck in dead end retail jobs, most have no support from the babies father, and many are on some form of welfare

yes, there are pros to being a YOUNG mother, such as those described, but that's a another topic. all of the "pros" listed don't diminish greatly if one has a child at 25 vs 15. being a great playmate for your child, returning to your pre-pregnancy shape faster, and being able to spend more time w/ your adult children are not good enough reasons to have a child as a teen (again, unless you're married and have the support of a loving hubby. but then again, there aren't many teen moms that are married (and that didn't have a shotgun wedding) and thoughtfully plan on having kids)

 
Old 12-01-2009, 08:58 PM
 
2,920 posts, read 2,906,142 times
Reputation: 3504
In no way do the pros outweigh the cons. I think the teens with enough sense to get married at 17 and start a family with a job, (like several people in my family did), are few and far between.

Most of these kids are not trying to get pregnant. But they really don't know how things work. Many really do think interruptus works. They aren't trying hard enough to NOT get pregnant, just like they're not working hard at anything. They want to look good, have nice things, and have fun. Preferably on someone else's dime. They see other people have babies and go back to their party lifestyle, so they think they can do the same. Everybody has babies, so it's normal for them.

Our community just had a fatal incidence of shaken-baby syndrome by a drug-using mother who had just regained custody of her 1-year-old due to drug use. Her other two children, ages 2 and 3, have been taken back into custody. The mother is 22 years old and eight months pregnant. If she can make a $100,000 bond, she can be released.
 
Old 12-01-2009, 10:03 PM
 
Location: Houston/Heights
2,637 posts, read 3,879,052 times
Reputation: 961
I a have a friend in her mid 40s. she had the first of two girls at 15, with no hubby. she worked and raised them. Put then through School, the whole nine yards.---She now finds she missed the best part of life, the ages between 16 and 35. She resents her Kids, and they have already moved away from her, leaving her all alone, with her potentially fun years behind her. Now she is middle aged, in a World full of 20 somethings. Time waits for no one.
 
Old 12-01-2009, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Orange County, CA
1,764 posts, read 1,862,316 times
Reputation: 827
I'm surprised that anyone actually believes there are pros to teen pregnancy...
 
Old 12-01-2009, 11:05 PM
 
Location: Illinois
4,754 posts, read 4,089,878 times
Reputation: 12890
Default Ignorance

I'm so very sorry that most of the posters here do not know any of the excellent teen parents out there.

I found out I was pregnant the week before my 18th birthday. My life has not been perfect, and no I wasn't a perfect mother. All you women who were PERFECT mothers at age 25 or 30 raise your hands!! Oh yes, it doesn't work that way. I wasn't a perfect mother, but I am a great mother. My kids think I am fantastic, we talk openly about everything under the sun, they actually come to me for advice, and we spend a lot of time laughing our heads off together. My kids aren't as materialistic and stuck on pop culture as other kids their ages because having all kinds of "stuff" and cable tv was never part of the budget. And yes, we have talked about sex, birth control, and choices they have in their lives. I have also told them that having a child should never be considered a mistake or a calamity, and if they get pregnant at a younger age we will all take care of things together. That is what family is all about.

Yes, it was a struggle. No, things didn't turn out like I had hoped. But you know what, I know a number of women who are my age and are just now having kids. They are exhausted, they never see their kids because of their careers, and just because you're 30-something and married doesn't mean that things will necessarily turn out any better - I've seen men walk out on their wives months after the baby was born, I've seen marriages end because the father has acted like a kid for 32 years and didn't realize that having a family meant he had to grow up and act like an adult finally.

Those of you who are so disgusted by teen pregnancy (and btw, how old was your grandmother when she had your mother? Just wondering...) need to realize that what you see on tv and in the mall is not always reality.
 
Old 12-01-2009, 11:57 PM
 
Location: SA
744 posts, read 1,048,506 times
Reputation: 566
Annie I can appreciate your post, but can you honestly tell me that you are not an exception to the norm. Thank you for showing all of us that you were a responsible individual and continue to be one. You ask about how old our grandmother was when she had our mother. I remember stories of teens that were pregnant were sent away from the town they lived because of the stigma attatched to them. Is that the arguement you would like to make, that we should do more than debate pros and cons but we should shun the teens. Again I want to thank you for doing the right thing in your life but ask you to open your eyes to the others in the real world as well.
 
Old 12-02-2009, 04:05 AM
 
48,519 posts, read 80,998,062 times
Reputation: 17978
Quote:
Originally Posted by teenmom View Post
being a teen mom myself i would say that if it was not for my baby i would not being pushing myslef to do better. and other teen moms agree that if it was not for their kids they would not be in college, working, or acting like grown ups like they are now.
The problem is that is not the case commonly. In fact what it so often does is hold back the teen from really getting ahead or a college degree and burdens the grandparents often.In fact it scost more to provide daycare for those in college besides the other cost to the welfare agencies that could be spent on disbaled people instead of going to single parents who are able but can't support themsleves. For every dollar spent on those not disbale the disable take a hit directly.
 
Old 12-02-2009, 06:26 AM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,004,541 times
Reputation: 64014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycanmaster View Post
I'm surprised that anyone actually believes there are pros to teen pregnancy...
You can thank Hollywood for making a "baby bump" look glamorous and alluring. A movie star has the ways and means to be a single parent.
 
Old 12-02-2009, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Texas
141 posts, read 242,796 times
Reputation: 132
Quote:
Originally Posted by 007.5 View Post
The first responsibility should be that of our loose, liberal Government to force our loose, immoral Mass Media to stop promoting sexual immorality and glamorizing it ; America grooms sexual addicts and deviants starting at an early age . As far as the Teens today are concerned, if the girl gets pregnant , she can either keep the baby or give it up to a 2 parent family who will love and care for the child as if it were biologically theirs . This is always better than killing the innocent developing American while in the womb...which is supposed to be the safest place on earth. Unfortunately, we have a President who continues to make sexual hedonism prosper by keeping abortion clinics thriving as a convenient Ace-in-the-Hole . In summary, America is sewer of moral degradation which escalated about the same time God and his absolute moral laws were rendered dispensable and were viewed as antiquated .
Oh for god's sake you'd better be trolling.


Quote:
Most of these kids are not trying to get pregnant. But they really don't know how things work. Many really do think interruptus works. They aren't trying hard enough to NOT get pregnant, just like they're not working hard at anything. They want to look good, have nice things, and have fun. Preferably on someone else's dime. They see other people have babies and go back to their party lifestyle, so they think they can do the same. Everybody has babies, so it's normal for them.
And this is why we need sex-ed in schools.
 
Old 12-02-2009, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,668 posts, read 71,523,609 times
Reputation: 35864
Well, our population would increase a lot fast with only 15 years between generations, instead of 25 or so. How else do we expect to catch up with the Chinese?
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