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Old 10-17-2009, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,673,685 times
Reputation: 11309

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I read through some of the posts and it's appalling that some people can hate moms so much so that they won't attend their funerals. And they even sound it off well in advance

First, I can't believe such "worth-the-hate" moms can exist on the face of the earth, coz I know mine's the greatest on the face of the earth.

But even if the mom turned out to be a biotch from the very next millisecond she shot the baby out of her tummy, she did bear the thing for 9 months. I have read about in Biology, the whole process, its pains and it's probably the world's greatest inconvenience. Noone wants to say thanks at least for the little amount of time the umbilical cord was in place passing food between the woman and the embryo

The world's more whacked out than I thought.
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Old 10-17-2009, 11:18 AM
 
985 posts, read 2,300,348 times
Reputation: 722
Oh geez, not the whole you owe me for having you crap again.......Giving birth doesn't automatically mean one deserves love or respect from their kids. If I found out my biological parents were dead I'd say good riddance. My biological parents were extremely abusive. I, literally, almost starved to death because they couldn't be bothered to feed me. I'd give them nothing but my middle finger.
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Old 10-17-2009, 11:21 AM
 
Location: So Cal
38,749 posts, read 37,911,931 times
Reputation: 39561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaye02 View Post
Oh geez, not the whole you owe me for having you crap again.......Giving birth doesn't automatically mean one deserves love or respect from their kids. If I found out my biological parents were dead I'd say good riddance. My biological parents were extremely abusive. I, literally, almost starved to death because they couldn't be bothered to feed me. I'd give them nothing but my middle finger.
Sometimes it is just plain ol DNA is what you have in common. That's it for some people.

Abuse can really scar people.
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Old 10-17-2009, 11:23 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,709 posts, read 22,756,161 times
Reputation: 17451
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
I read through some of the posts and it's appalling that some people can hate moms so much so that they won't attend their funerals. And they even sound it off well in advance

First, I can't believe such "worth-the-hate" moms can exist on the face of the earth, coz I know mine's the greatest on the face of the earth.

But even if the mom turned out to be a biotch from the very next millisecond she shot the baby out of her tummy, she did bear the thing for 9 months. I have read about in Biology, the whole process, its pains and it's probably the world's greatest inconvenience. Noone wants to say thanks at least for the little amount of time the umbilical cord was in place passing food between the woman and the embryo

The world's more whacked out than I thought.
Don't be to quick to judge. It may be difficult for someone with a loving
caring Mother to relate.
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Old 10-17-2009, 11:57 AM
 
Location: right here!
1,057 posts, read 1,679,421 times
Reputation: 1310
Hmmm...I won't say anything about her mental illnesses including her addicitions, but I will say that she regularly told me she hated me, wished I'd never been born, was the worst thing that ever happened to her, etc. This after I had driven to the grocery store at 14 (!) to get her cigarettes and beer because she was too drunk.

I've forgiven her. My forgiveness is about me, not her. I never said I hated her. I have already grieved the death of a relationship that we could have had. I'm healthier without her negativity. She may have "carried me around" for nine months, but I carried her around for a lot longer than that. I wiped up her p*** and s*** too.

I'm no Christian but I think somewhere in the Bible it says, "Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself." Please forgive if I do not have the verbiage correct.
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Old 10-17-2009, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,554 posts, read 5,866,345 times
Reputation: 8560
Moderator cut: quoted post

I know it may come off this way to you, but actually it is all about her as a grieving daughter - not the only daughter, of course. I think "shoulds" aren't appropriate here. People go through some horrific things at this time, and her mother most likely would understand, as I would if one of my kids didn't come to my funeral. Sadness can UNDERSTANDABLY cause anger and neediness, so I can't blame the siblings at this time for wanting her there with them, but it would be good if everyone could be generous toward each other.

Last edited by Keeper; 10-18-2009 at 04:55 PM..
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Old 10-17-2009, 12:11 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
15,709 posts, read 22,756,161 times
Reputation: 17451
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellfire View Post
Hmmm...I won't say anything about her mental illnesses including her addicitions, but I will say that she regularly told me she hated me, wished I'd never been born, was the worst thing that ever happened to her, etc. This after I had driven to the grocery store at 14 (!) to get her cigarettes and beer because she was too drunk.

I've forgiven her. My forgiveness is about me, not her. I never said I hated her. I have already grieved the death of a relationship that we could have had. I'm healthier without her negativity. She may have "carried me around" for nine months, but I carried her around for a lot longer than that. I wiped up her p*** and s*** too.

I'm no Christian but I think somewhere in the Bible it says, "Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself." Please forgive if I do not have the verbiage correct.
This says it all for me, as well. I believe my mother has Borderline Personality Disorder, never diagnosed of course, I refused to be her scapegoat any longer.
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Old 10-17-2009, 12:20 PM
 
25,947 posts, read 25,869,596 times
Reputation: 26678
When you haven't seen or spoken to a parent for over 20 years (after great labor to find a relationship with them), one is more apt to have already gone through the mourning process a long while ago and it seems unnecessary to put yourself through it again. Repeating, again, the funeral is for the living, not the dead and for people to pay respects and offer sympathy to the living.

Also, we've had a number of cremations without funerals in our family.
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Old 10-17-2009, 02:04 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,205,335 times
Reputation: 7378
I guess we all have to agree to disagree here...I can understand that folks don't deal with anything the exact same way and there is no protocol to proper mourning techniques so basically, we are all out here in the world doing the best we can. Don't judge anyone too harshly we don't know where they are coming from.
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Old 10-17-2009, 07:41 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,205,335 times
Reputation: 7378
Discuss the topic and not one another.
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