Meeting people in Minneapolis... (St. Paul, Eden Prairie: rent, hotel, lawyers)

[indierider]

Interesting thread. It interested me enough to join and add some random thoughts:

This "weird-Minnesota-vibe" is something I've been thinking for the last 4 years that I've been back, and I was born and raised here. I have been in + out of MN since college. Since returning, I have called "good friends" from HS to socialize, I have called new acquaintances for coffee, invited neighbors to yoga: nothing. I work in sales (successfully, I might add--so being anti-social probably isn't the issue?!) and the whole thing baffles me. I have acquaintances, but no "friends" to invite to a movie, event, whatever. I just remembered, I even joined a running website to seek out someone to run with, and have not had ONE response. What's up in this town? I'm getting ready to leave. It's sad. My friends are all in places where I used to live: East, West, South...but not here.

Did anyone else catch this very same topic on KS95 during the morning show last week? It was a fluke, I was on my way to the airport, scanning the radio stations, and they were discussing this very same issue with someone whom I assume is a new DJ there...?

Regardless, practical solutions are always welcome, I'm going to check out the Transplants group (maybe I won't qualify?!). Thank you to whomever posted that.

[BillyB]

We are a very quiet people! We like to ice fish quietly by ourselves on a frozen lake!

[K-Luv]

Originally Posted by BillyB

We are a very quiet people! We like to ice fish quietly by ourselves on a frozen lake!

If this is the case, then fine-I'm cool with it; but, then don't fiend interest in another person.

[kuan]

Running room organizes group runs.

Thing is, once people get married, involved, get a job, and KIDS, it's all downhill from there.

[pirate_lafitte]

What about life for singles in their early 20's?(And at this point in my life, I am not too worried about finding a girlfriend). I see the posts on this thread and the idea is that in order for out of staters to make friends in MN, pairing up with other out of staters is the best thing to do. Here is my next question. What about the persons who "want" to be Minnesotan, who want to meet other Minnesotans(and not just out of staters either) who are open-minded about winter sports, lutfisk, and other things Minnesotan?
The pattern I see is not unlike what I see in suburban Atlanta. Alot of out of staters come to Georgia and hang out with other out of staters and make few attempts at making friends with persons born and raised in GA. In fact, many out of staters only move here due to jobs and the relatively low cost of living(i.e. not NY, FL ,CA, or IL) and somewhat gentler weather(no blizzards or subzero cold) and many of them look down on the natives in GA(not all do, but some do and many hide it). In a way the patterns I see in Atlanta mirror somewhat to that of the TWin Cities(Atlanta in a more extreme case and different in some ways).
My question is what if a person does want to assimilate into the Minnesota culture and make friends among native Minnesotans?

[lukeache]

Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte

My question is what if a person does want to assimilate into the Minnesota culture and make friends among native Minnesotans?

I met my fiance when I moved here and she is as Minnesotan as anything. I guess, if it wasnt for her, It would have been much harder for me to assimilate and understand Minnesotan culture. Regardless, as soon as I moved here, I knew I wanted to learn everything about Minnesota, I started cross country skiing and downhill skiing, opened my mind to ice hockey and other Minnesotan traditions and that made it a little bit easier.We have been together for almost 4 years and we have 0 friends here. So, this problem with meeting people affects not only out of staters but also natives. I have met so many people here in Minnesota that are normal and succesful but also do not have any friends(real friends that is). Minnesotans are very helpful and extremely nice at first but it only goes so far. It must have something to do with our Norwegian/Swedish influence

[pirate_lafitte]

Originally Posted by lukeache

I met my fiance when I moved here and she is as Minnesotan as anything. I guess, if it wasnt for her, It would have been much harder for me to assimilate and understand Minnesotan culture. Regardless, as soon as I moved here, I knew I wanted to learn everything about Minnesota, I started cross country skiing and downhill skiing, opened my mind to ice hockey and other Minnesotan traditions and that made it a little bit easier.We have been together for almost 4 years and we have 0 friends here. So, this problem with meeting people affects not only out of staters but also natives. I have met so many people here in Minnesota that are normal and succesful but also do not have any friends(real friends that is). Minnesotans are very helpful and extremely nice at first but it only goes so far. It must have something to do with our Norwegian/Swedish influence

What I am getting from this statement is to not expect to make any friends if I do move here. I hpe that isn't the case because I am kind of disenchanted about where I live now. I wouldn't want to feel the same way about MN, or any other place I plan to move to.

[lukeache]

Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte

What I am getting from this statement is to not expect to make any friends if I do move here. I hpe that isn't the case because I am kind of disenchanted about where I live now. I wouldn't want to feel the same way about MN, or any other place I plan to move to.

I would not go as far as saying that you will not make any friends. I am a reserved person and not very outgoing, maybe you are not. I think it would be easier for you to find a girlfriend at first than having a established circle of friends. Also, you seem to be open to meeting different people. The attitudes I am describing are mostly related to White Minnesotans. Minnesotans of African American or Hispanic heritage are probably much different culturally than what I am describing. The best way to feel the vibe of a place is to fly here for a weekend and see how people interact with you and how you are treated. My decision of moving to Minneapolis was heavily influenced by the very positive and friendly experiences I had here as a tourist. I travel all over the country and I am more than convinced that "Minnesota nice" is real.

[J_Lurk]

Hi ... I don't usually look at this board because it has been a few years since I moved away from St. Paul, but I lived there for almost 10 years, and I definitely found the same challenges in meeting people that many people have described. It took me a good 4-5 years to develop a social group, and it was almost all transplants despite the fact that I actually have relatives in the Twin Cities.

Anyway, I just wanted to mention another group for meeting people: Single Volunteers of the Twin Cities. It's a great group, and I'm fond of it because my husband and I met there. Single Volunteers of the Twin Cities - Welcome to the SVTC home page

[Luke81]

Sounds like Central Europe... It's so easy to get laid by anyone on a night out, but finding friends is extremely hard. I was born and raised in Vienna, Austria and lived there all my live, and my friends are about the best I could ever find, but we are such an intimate group that it's hard for outsiders to fit in. I work as a teacher, and get to know a lot of fellow teachers from al over the world, but each time I try to invite one to my circle of friends, it'Äs extremely awkward, because we have so many insider-stories of how it was in high-school or last year when we were skiing... I taught for a year in London, England and Marseille, France and found both cities extremely easy to make friends, with both other newcomers and natives, although I would say my german mentality makes me a rather reserved person. I went out to a bar with a fellow teacher and would meet fun and outgoing people with whom I had a great time. But the difference is, that Austrians see teir friends as an extended family, and with many people having ancestors from Central or Northern Europe in the Twin Cities, I guess that could be the same there, and I could tell them anything, invite them for Christmas, we spend my birthday together.. That was different in France and Engand, and I guess it's that way anywhere with more outgoing cities or countries, they see their fiends as people to have fun with, but not as people to see everyday and to go through good and bad times.

I recommend you get a dog, don't know about the US, but everywhere I've ever been to dog owners (I am one ) are the friendliest people ever, and if you tell them about having a hard time finding friends, maybe you'll friends, but I agree that it's really hard in some places.