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Old 12-22-2010, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Brunswick
54 posts, read 121,391 times
Reputation: 41

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Threerun View Post
Heading off to Colorado tomorrow for a week- spending the holiday's with my wife's family..

Thought I'd share my rendition of A Christmas Carol, which I originally penned some years back in WV. I only had to make one modification in to bring it up to Montana standards! Merry Christmas!!

A West Virginia Christmas Carol- The Night Before Christmas
By Threerun

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hollers,
It was colder than crap, I think I needs me a swaller.
The sweat socks were hung over the woodstove with nails,
They stunk like old cheese, but who really cares.
The kids they was stacked like cordwood in bed,
Three that are mine, four cousin Freds.

Mama and me were passed out in the sack,
We just finished downing a Busch Light 12 pack.
When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed my old rifle to see whats the matter.

Away to the window I ran really fast,
Thinking some varmint had got in my trash.
The moon was a glowing on the snow so darned bright,
I could see plain as day through my scope in the night.

When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear?
But a miniature sleigh, pulled by 8 big horned deer!
A little old man with a beard white as duck,
Crashed on top of the barn and got his ass stuck.

He cursed at those deer, and grabbed an old whip,
He was fixin'to teach those eight bucks real quick!
“Now Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen!
You too Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!
Land on the house not the barn!!” He was bitchin!

Then the old man pulled the reins hard and tight,
And the bucks pulled the sleigh off the barn with a might.
Then on top off my house they crashed with a BANG!
They tore off my gutters, gosh darn-it all dang!

I flew down the stairs to check on the site,
When that fat little fellow came down the stovepipe.
He had a que*r little outfit, and looked like an elf,
"Must be from Missoula" I said to myself.

He had a big heavy sack slung over his back,
A winters worth of vittles must be stuffed in that pack!
His eye's kinda twinkled and he had dimples how merry!
His cheeks were all rosy…. he must be a Fairy!

He was smokin' a pipe and was taking a toke,
It smelled sorta funny, like wacky old dope.
He had a really round face, his eyes sorta scrunched,
He kept rootin' around looking for something to munch.

I sensed he’s a stoner, a dope head, a waste..
And I figured this fools trying to rob my 'ol place!
I thought to myself " I oughta just blast him!",
So I shouted "HEY FATSO- DONT YOU KNOW YER TRESPASSIN?!!"

He turned round to see me, and reached for his sack
I got off the first round and just grazed his fat back!
His eyes got real big, I thought he was froze,
Then all of a sudden up the stovepipe he rose!

He was cursing and shouting to his deer on the run,
"This crazy old coot is firing a gun!"
He jumped in his sleigh and kept his head down,
I couldn't sight in that big old fat clown.

But his bucks were wide open and the moon was still bright,
And I caught the lead deer in my scope with that light;
I took a deep breath and let one round fly,
Dasher got smashed, he's gonna diel

The sled then slowed down, dead weight it was liftin',
So I got a shot off on Donner and Blitzen.
“Three bucks did I shoot!” I exclaimed with a might
“Merry Christmas to all! We got venison tonight!”
The wife says its not right, but, I liked it......
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Old 12-22-2010, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Lost in Montana *recalculating*...
19,769 posts, read 22,673,762 times
Reputation: 24920
It's wrong on so many levels, but hey- I'm from WV, so our standards are a bit... different.

The WV motto- "We've upped our standards, so UP YOURS!!"
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Old 12-22-2010, 06:33 PM
 
9,341 posts, read 29,688,177 times
Reputation: 4573
Default "A Visit From St. Nicholas"

"A Visit From St. Nicholas", the poem that changed the way that Americans and others around the world celebrate the Christmas holiday, was written in 1822 by Clement Clarke Moore, a scholar in Hebrew and the son of an Episcopal bishop. Moore's family had come to America in 1750 from Chelsea, England, and established a farm named Chelsea in the area of what is now the New York City Borough of Manhattan and still known by that name.

There is an annual event at the Chapel of the Intercession each year on the Sunday before Christmas. There is a reading of "The Night Before Christmas" in the Church, and all the children are invited to come and sit in front. Often there are famous guest readers.

The service is followed by a lantern-light procession down the hill and into the cemetery where Moore's grave is blessed, and there is a tent set up with hot chocolate and cookies for all. Father Christmas (not Santa) always makes an appearance.

The Chapel of the Intercession is part of Trinity Parish, and is located at Broadway and West 155th Street.


By the way, Benjamin Moore is the g-grandson of Clement Clark Moore. I wonder if this means that if you read "A Visit From St. Nicholas" you should be doing this in a room that was painted with Benjamin Moore paint?
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Old 12-22-2010, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Where the mountains touch the sky
6,756 posts, read 8,582,712 times
Reputation: 14969
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threerun View Post
Heading off to Colorado tomorrow for a week- spending the holiday's with my wife's family..

Thought I'd share my rendition of A Christmas Carol, which I originally penned some years back in WV. I only had to make one modification in to bring it up to Montana standards! Merry Christmas!!

A West Virginia Christmas Carol- The Night Before Christmas
By Threerun

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hollers,
It was colder than crap, I think I needs me a swaller.
The sweat socks were hung over the woodstove with nails,
They stunk like old cheese, but who really cares.
The kids they was stacked like cordwood in bed,
Three that are mine, four cousin Freds.

Mama and me were passed out in the sack,
We just finished downing a Busch Light 12 pack.
When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,
I grabbed my old rifle to see whats the matter.

Away to the window I ran really fast,
Thinking some varmint had got in my trash.
The moon was a glowing on the snow so darned bright,
I could see plain as day through my scope in the night.

When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear?
But a miniature sleigh, pulled by 8 big horned deer!
A little old man with a beard white as duck,
Crashed on top of the barn and got his ass stuck.

He cursed at those deer, and grabbed an old whip,
He was fixin'to teach those eight bucks real quick!
“Now Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen!
You too Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!
Land on the house not the barn!!” He was bitchin!

Then the old man pulled the reins hard and tight,
And the bucks pulled the sleigh off the barn with a might.
Then on top off my house they crashed with a BANG!
They tore off my gutters, gosh darn-it all dang!

I flew down the stairs to check on the site,
When that fat little fellow came down the stovepipe.
He had a que*r little outfit, and looked like an elf,
"Must be from Missoula" I said to myself.

He had a big heavy sack slung over his back,
A winters worth of vittles must be stuffed in that pack!
His eye's kinda twinkled and he had dimples how merry!
His cheeks were all rosy…. he must be a Fairy!

He was smokin' a pipe and was taking a toke,
It smelled sorta funny, like wacky old dope.
He had a really round face, his eyes sorta scrunched,
He kept rootin' around looking for something to munch.

I sensed he’s a stoner, a dope head, a waste..
And I figured this fools trying to rob my 'ol place!
I thought to myself " I oughta just blast him!",
So I shouted "HEY FATSO- DONT YOU KNOW YER TRESPASSIN?!!"

He turned round to see me, and reached for his sack
I got off the first round and just grazed his fat back!
His eyes got real big, I thought he was froze,
Then all of a sudden up the stovepipe he rose!

He was cursing and shouting to his deer on the run,
"This crazy old coot is firing a gun!"
He jumped in his sleigh and kept his head down,
I couldn't sight in that big old fat clown.

But his bucks were wide open and the moon was still bright,
And I caught the lead deer in my scope with that light;
I took a deep breath and let one round fly,
Dasher got smashed, he's gonna diel

The sled then slowed down, dead weight it was liftin',
So I got a shot off on Donner and Blitzen.
“Three bucks did I shoot!” I exclaimed with a might
“Merry Christmas to all! We got venison tonight!”

OUTSTANDING!! LMAO!!!

Dang site won't let me rep you, but excellent work!!
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Old 12-22-2010, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Brendansport, Sagitta IV
8,088 posts, read 15,163,899 times
Reputation: 3740
New version AND great history, all in one!

So, who's for joining me in singing this (thoroughly off-key) under all your neighbours' windows?

(Does anyone still go Xmas Caroling??)
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Old 12-22-2010, 10:13 PM
 
Location: Brendansport, Sagitta IV
8,088 posts, read 15,163,899 times
Reputation: 3740
A little present for Seven

Klingon Christmas Carol brought to the stage - Telegraph

And a review, with pictures:
‘A Klingon Christmas Carol’ isn’t just for Trekkies (but it helps) « Chicago Theatre Addict
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Old 12-22-2010, 11:29 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,259 posts, read 14,678,174 times
Reputation: 3460
Aww Rez, you know the way to a gal's heart. Thanks and Merry Christmas to you!
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Old 12-23-2010, 04:02 AM
 
Location: Spots Wyoming
18,700 posts, read 42,065,654 times
Reputation: 2147483647
Coffee's on. Going to make some cinamon rolls this morning.
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Old 12-23-2010, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Where the mountains touch the sky
6,756 posts, read 8,582,712 times
Reputation: 14969
Cinnamon rolls!!!

On my way!!!!
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Old 12-23-2010, 08:31 AM
 
Location: NW Montana
451 posts, read 999,496 times
Reputation: 385
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElkHunter View Post
Coffee's on. Going to make some cinamon rolls this morning.
Hey UP!!!

Let the caroling begin!! With special thanks to ThreeRun and Rez...

Now...

Why are the controls on this site screwed down so tight that we cannot add reputation points any oftener?


mg
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