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If he wants a paternity test, he should go ahead and pay for one himself.
It's unfortunate that she won't leave him. She's a year older than one of my sisters, and I'm trying to picture my sister in that kind of situation. When I think of how NOT old she is, and how much life and living she still has to do, I can't imagine any reason your mom should sacrifice her golden years to such emotional abuse and infidelity. In fact, I'd say it would be fitting if your whole family left him to die alone.
He can pay the paternity tests for himself, no problem. My brothers and I do everything we can to convince her to leave him but she mentions every possible positive things about him to argue against us.
P.S. We would never leave him though, that would makes us worse than him. He's still our father and the grandchildren are mad about him.
He can pay the paternity tests for himself, no problem. My brothers and I do everything we can to convince her to leave him but she mentions every possible positive things about him to argue against us.
P.S. We would never leave him though, that would makes us worse than him. He's still our father and the grandchildren are mad about him.
I don't think it would make you worse than him. I think it would make you people with self-respect who are interested in protecting your children from a sex maniac, not to mention intolerant of the abuse he has heaped upon your mother.
Cheating is always the responsibility of the cheater. Bad marriages are the fault of both spouses, true, but at the end of the day, the cheater deliberately chooses to cheat, and only the cheater can be held accountable for that. No one holds a gun to a cheater's head and says, "Have sex with this person or die." Cheating is always voluntary and on purpose. Always.
Regardless, as the OP has said nothing of his parents' sex lives, your speculation should be qualified as such from the get-go, even though it sounds extraordinarily presumptuous and sexist from every angle: Plenty of women give their husbands plenty of sex yet those husbands still cheat, and plenty of husbands don't get as much sex as they'd like but are not led around by their penises and go around putting them in anything that moves and impregnating women at random.
This sounds like a case of an emotionally abusive and perverted man. It sounds to me like his rampant cheating is pathological, a mental illness on his part.
Last edited by 7G9C4J2; 07-14-2013 at 06:15 PM..
Reason: quoted post was deleted
I don't think it would make you worse than him. I think it would make you people with self-respect who are interested in protecting your children from a sex maniac, not to mention intolerant of the abuse he has heaped upon your mother.
We (the children) just keep it civil with him but there's not a great deal of talk. It's more because of the grandkids. My nephew even cried when he had to spend a month without seeing him.
This sounds like a case of an emotionally abusive and perverted man. It sounds to me like his rampant cheating is pathological, a mental illness on his part.
I don't say anything in regards to their sex life because it's not my business. Fullstop.
I wouldn't say it's pathological but he can't see a hottie without turning his eyes. I've caught him several times grabbing the maid's butt.
If he got one of his patients pregnant these days he would be in serious trouble I suppose.
Your mother should at least sleep in a different room. Maybe she can start dating other people. I mean - if he's answering escort ads - she should be allowed to date as well.
We (the children) just keep it civil with him but there's not a great deal of talk. It's more because of the grandkids. My nephew even cried when he had to spend a month without seeing him.
I guess I'm having trouble understanding how you aren't angry at his treatment of your mother. I mean, yes, your parents' marriage is between them, but nothing about seeing his sex tape with another woman when you were at the tender age of 13 stirred up any rage at all? It just doesn't seem normal to me. It sounds like there is more to this story than we're getting here.
All I know is that most teenagers get really angry at parents who cheat and parents who are emotional abusers of the other parent, especially when it's the father who is cheating and the mother who is being abused. Are you maybe not bonded with your mother?
Who your sperm donor was in unimportant. The man that raises you is your father. A paternity test is a waste of time. Tell your mother that they need to consider marriage counseling.
Your mother should at least sleep in a different room. Maybe she can start dating other people. I mean - if he's answering escort ads - she should be allowed to date as well.
I don't remember them ever sleeping together. That's what I've told her as well, she should live her life and see other people. She was so offended she could almost hit me. She said "Who do you think I am?! I keep my name clean."
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