My wife hates my son's new GF (business, boyfriend, person)

[afoigrokerkok]

Originally Posted by steelstress

Yeah, she's concerned, but not for the right reasons. She's not a mature woman, just an older girl.

Oh, I agree. And I disagree with how she's handling it. That being said, she is probably mature enough to not want her son to become a teen parent like she was.

[Stratford, Ct. Resident]

Tell your wife to look on the bright side. Your son is dating a girl, not a guy.

[jrsydevil82]

Originally Posted by irishfan77

I'm 37, my wife is 37, and our son is 19. He has a new GF he met at some party around Halloween. This is his 2nd GF. My wife liked the first GF even though she was a bit promiscuous. She absolutely hates this one, Rachel. Rachel is kind of like the last GF, but significantly more " bad girl". She's got a Carpe Diem tattoo near the quote " What's meant to be will find a way". She's planning a third one, a butterfly ( how original). She drinks more than the first one and dresses pretty skimpy( even in the Chicago cold). Anyway, my wife hates her, seethes when Rachel's at the house and seethes when those two leave for their date. I don't mind her because I know its a phase. He's 19, his hormones, not his brain, are doing the thinking. He's probably having a grand time. My wife refers to this girl as " Kelly Bundy 2.0"( remember her?) I've never told my wife this, but Rachel is alot like my wife was 18 years ago( minus the tattoos). Should I just tell her " relax, he's not marrying her, she'll be gone by April"?

I'm really only seeing physical description here...does your wife hate her because of the way she dresses & tats? (There are much worse tats than "sieze the day").

I'm curious to know how she is personality-wise...is she disrespectful to your wife?

[cheryjohns]

Yeah, I agree that she will always find fault with any girl - always. Which means one of two situations - either your son bows down to keep the peace (and loses his wife for not having any stones) - or cuts his meddling mother out of his life to protect his family. Your wife stands a very good chance of losing her son unless she grows up.

[irishfan77]

Originally Posted by jrsydevil82

I'm really only seeing physical description here...does your wife hate her because of the way she dresses & tats? (There are much worse tats than "sieze the day").

I'm curious to know how she is personality-wise...is she disrespectful to your wife?

Yeah, it's pretty much the tattoos and the dressing that gets under my wife's skin. I agree there are worse tattoos she could get, i agree. My thing is what is gives off. I have no problem with tattoos, just make them mean something, like if I get a tat of my son'a birthdate, that means something. My cousin's husband did that with his daughter, he has her birthdate on his arm. The carpe diem is a faux sophisticated way of saying YOLO and the butterfly is just too overdone. As far as the dressing, my reaction is " Yeah, ok, we get it, you're a rebel. Woo hoo." I don't have this animosity for her that my wife does because, we've hardly had a chance to talk to her and, like I said, I doubt this will last long.. We talked to her for 10 minutes the first time she came over. She wasn't disrespectful to my wife or myself.

[picklejuice]

Tattoos have been the big trend/fad for a few years now, with an estimated 70% of the young people and 40% adults getting them.

It is fading (pun intended), but it's pretty much expected that a good portion of the girls your son dates that are his age will have at least one.

Pretty much the only folks his age who won't be sporting them are the individualist types or super strict religious types .

P.S. All those who are going to argue that they got their tats to express their individual creative side, don't bother.

If that had been the case, you would have gotten those tats ten-twenty years ago-- or prior to/before the popular trend.

In my day, the only folks who got tats were service members, prison inmates, and bikers!

[irishfan77]

I don't think his mom or I would a mind a tattoo, just as long as it held some sort of sentimental value.

[ScarletG]

Originally Posted by irishfan77

I don't think his mom or I would a mind a tattoo, just as long as it held some sort of sentimental value.

But it's not your place to judge what is of value to others. Honestly, your wife is going to lose her son one way or the other.....she needs to grow up.

[chilaili]

Unless the girlfriend is actually a bad person, I don't get the problem. If she's being judged simply on her appearance, that's unbelievably narrow-minded and setting a very bad example for your son.

If your son is 19 he's an adult and can date whoever he wants and the more your wife expresses her hatred the more he's going to stick with this girl even if he knows the relationship is doomed. Trust me, I've been there. My father hated a boyfriend I had and he never even met the guy! Altho this relationship died a death three months in, I stuck with it for a year just to annoy my parents. Stupid, but that's what teenagers do!

[Lilac110]

Your wife sounds certifiable.

She needs to be reminded of your past with her in that "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" kind of way. She also needs to be reminded that she had her shot at doing things her way at that age, and your son deserves the same. Even if it is a mistake, he has the right to make it.