Should I be worried or mad about my friend? (house, meeting)
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But why would you do this? You need to take some ownership in this as well.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Sorry, but I wouldn't tolerate week after week of this. Doesn't mean I would drop the person but I wouldn't try and make weekly plans with them when they continually flake out.
And why mention a class? Heck no, regardless of whether this is a real medical issue or not, the last thing you do is mention something that takes a real commitment.
I am no longer tolerating it. Hence the discussion, the parameters. You have to understand that this is a friend of mine who I've been very close with for nearly 20 years and this is a new development over the past few months. No, I'm not happy about it, and no, I'm not going to continue to tolerate it. That's exactly what the thread is about.
I am not "trying" to make weekly plans with her. As I stated, I am already going to the class, whether she goes or not. And I am not going to pay for her to go and expect her to pay me back, or even to show up. That's her deal, not mine.
I actually thought I handled that pretty well. Already going to the class - doesn't matter whether she goes or not - didn't make her reservations, didn't pay for it, and if she stands me up, it doesn't matter. Those are the best sort of plans to have with her, apparently - LOL.
I am no longer tolerating it. Hence the discussion, the parameters. You have to understand that this is a friend of mine who I've been very close with for nearly 20 years and this is a new development over the past few months. No, I'm not happy about it, and no, I'm not going to continue to tolerate it. That's exactly what the thread is about.
I am not "trying" to make weekly plans with her. As I stated, I am already going to the class, whether she goes or not. And I am not going to pay for her to go and expect her to pay me back, or even to show up. That's her deal, not mine.
I actually thought I handled that pretty well. Already going to the class - doesn't matter whether she goes or not - didn't make her reservations, didn't pay for it, and if she stands me up, it doesn't matter. Those are the best sort of plans to have with her, apparently - LOL.
I understand, what I'm saying is I wouldn't have even mentioned the class to her. You mentioned she showed interest(probably fleeting), see what I mean? Why open that can of worms?
If she does sign up, you will be expecting her to. You will be looking for her and you end up taking away something from your experience(it does sound interesting). Maybe saving her seat and she is a no show.
You also could end up meeting someone in the class you might want to strike up a friendship with, and not want her in the picture.
Given her track record the last thing I would have said in front of her is something like this that requires a commitment and I imagine being on time.
No way....LOL.
In fact I would even tell her(yes lie) I decided not to take it. And take the class on my own.
I doubt Id have attempted to organize something so intense as a painting class, in view of her flakiness.
Almost seems like tempting fate.
LOL. They are not intense art classes. It's an opportunity to drink and have fun. Here it's Monet & Mai Tais.
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I understand, what I'm saying is I wouldn't have even mentioned the class to her. You mentioned she showed interest(probably fleeting), see what I mean? Why open that can of worms?
If she does sign up, you will be expecting her to. You will be looking for her and you end up taking away something from your experience(it does sound interesting). Maybe saving her seat and she is a no show.
You also could end up meeting someone in the class you might want to strike up a friendship with, and not want her in the picture.
Given her track record the last thing I would have said in front of her is something like this that requires a commitment and I imagine being on time.
No way....LOL.
In fact I would even tell her(yes lie) I decided not to take it. And take the class on my own.
No, I think you're reading too much into why I mentioned the class. I mentioned it because we were talking about crafts, painting, etc. It REALLY doesn't matter to me whether she goes or not - except (and maybe this is petty but I don't care) I'm simply INTERESTED in whether she goes or not. What I mean is that I will have a good time with or without her. I am not going to save her seat - that's not how it works. If she signs up, she will get to sit next to me (I already put her name down as who I sit by IF she registers - if not, I don't care - and to be honest, I have several friends who go to these things and I am going to coordinate with them to see if they're going, and if not, I'm perfectly content by myself).
Not only that - I'll go this far: She told me she was going to register last night. I doubt seriously that she did, since she hasn't told me she has. Tomorrow I am going to reach out to several friends of mine who I know do these classes regularly and I am nearly positive at least one of them can go with me. I will make sure that the seat beside me is reserved for them. Heck, if two say yes, then one on either side! But if I sit next to a stranger, I really don't care. Maybe I'll meet someone fun and interesting! Who knows. I'm very independent and fearless when it comes to strangers or going and doing something by myself.
This is a sort of test. She says I'm right and justified to be annoyed and hurt when she flakes out on me. She says she's making an appt with her doctor Monday. Let's see if any of this has even sunk in.
THAT'S what you need to be reading into it - not whether or not I will be yearning for my friend if she doesn't show up. I have already decided not to include her in anything that actually hinges on whether or not she shows up.
LOL. They are not intense art classes. It's an opportunity to drink and have fun. Here it's Monet & Mai Tais.
LOL right on. These are fun, silly classes and you may get a decent looking painting out of it at the end - or maybe not. The point is to explore your creativity - with alcohol involved.
LOL right on. These are fun, silly classes and you may get a decent looking painting out of it at the end - or maybe not. The point is to explore your creativity - with alcohol involved.
Hey, it beats drinking alone at a bar.
Your painting, it's a cultural activity and the alcohol is only there to to encourage releasing your creativity. This is very sophisticated of you.
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Your painting, it's a cultural activity and the alcohol is only there to to encourage releasing your creativity. This is very sophisticated of you.
Oh, yes, so sophisticated. You should have seen me trying to walk both our undisciplined (I prefer to call them "raw"), 80 pound dogs by myself at the park today. The very picture of sophistication.
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