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One way to put it all in perspective is to check out the forums for other cities. There seem to be a lot of threads like this. I guess every city has its haters.
Here's what I find interesting: Sometimes you'll see a post from someone who's moved from Nova to that area. They say things like "I had so many friends back in northern Virginia but here the people aren't friendly at all." Or "There was so much to do back in Nova but this town sucks!"
I don't see people in terms of being "haters" per se, more that they are frustrated by circumstance, something that is not unique to any one area. For some, it's commute concerns, and for others it's an economic factor, and for others it's the people around them. Negative opinions have their place in discussion, since that's a way to offer a mechanism for change. Sometimes, one is able to give insight to someone via a forum like C-D that can help put things in perspective, or one can point another to something that they're lacking in the region that will make their life more enjoyable while living here. And, for some, the region is not a great fit, no matter how much another may enjoy the area.
There's a distinct difference between being a "hater" and someone who hates the area because the term hater (though a tad overused) connotes an inherent jealousy and that the person is habitually disagreeable to spoil things for another. Many people who have posted about their dislike for the region have done so based upon their own experiences, not to take anything away from another who likes the area, so, IMO, they are not haters, just people who are expressing their own experiences in the region, and how it relates to their particular circumstance.
Northern Virginia is not the epicenter of the known universe for all, neither is the DC region, or New York, or London, or Milan, or Paris, since it's all a matter of perspective. Sometimes we have to look to ourselves to find out what it is that we seek before we can find it in a region. And, sometimes we hit a few rough patches along the way before we find that place that we can call home, since for oneself, that is the epicenter of the known universe because it's one's home.
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All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare (As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)
Yes, NOVA is worse than Jersey - Jersey is VERY friendly -
And I try to always be a positive, up beat person and am very friendly - and I cant stand it here.
Are you saying that just the negative people that are always complaining - that will not be happy anywhere are the ONLY ones that cant stand it here. I am sure a lot of happy, positive people cant stand it here either.
Traffic, crowding, high prices and snobs do not appeal to everyone.
I feel your pain. I was born and raised in Norva, and just left for FL myself! I understand the political nutcase thing though, being so close to the seat of politics just does that to you (I'm a right-wing nutcase, a rarity in that area, lol).
The people are EXTREMELY snobby, you are spot-on on that. I had very few friends because everyone is so fake and snobby. You just learn to live with it. It was easier for me since my family all lives there, so I just did stuff with them. I can't imagine how hard it is for you!
Nobody talks to anyone else there, politeness, courtesy and consideration DO NOT EXIST in Norva. It can be lonely...but it can work out, too. My husband had just moved to Norva, and came into the restaurant I was managing. The first thing he asked me was "Is it just me, or are people REALLY rude here?" We started talking, and the rest is history, so good things can happen there, believe it or not!
Housing is an issue, definitely. We rented a basement...two tiny rooms, one tiny bathroom and nothing else for $1,000 a month. We have a house in FL, a whole house in the nicest area of our city with an awesome yard a block from the water (a bay, not the Gulf) for $850. It is hard to survive there, and my husband works for the government and made close to 6 figures at the time, and that was the best we could do, so I know how that is. It's rough! And it's not just housing...it's food, taxes and everything.
I would say, just go to FL. I did, and I absoluetely LOVE it. However, I also thought I'd like the peninsula, but I moved to the Panhandle (Panama City), and I wouldn't live anywhere else in the state. I'd recommend Panama City...it's big enough that you have stuff to do and places to go, but it's cheap and just all-around awesome. Jobs are kinda hard to get, but if you work and don't call in sick all the time, you'll be OK. I don't know your background, education, etc., but you could try to get on at the Navy base, or Tyndall AFB...but even if you have to work in fast food, you can make a living. You won't have to kill yourself to live in a hovel like in Norva, that's for sure. I don't even work, we get by comfortably on one income, so it's doable. It won't be easy, but living by the Gulf, having the beautiful weather most of the time, etc., makes it easier. I say escape while you still have a soul, your happiness is worth more than any amount of money you'll make in Norva....trust me. I know from experience! Good luck!
Yes, NOVA is worse than Jersey - Jersey is VERY friendly -
And I try to always be a positive, up beat person and am very friendly - and I cant stand it here.
Are you saying that just the negative people that are always complaining - that will not be happy anywhere are the ONLY ones that cant stand it here. I am sure a lot of happy, positive people cant stand it here either.
Traffic, crowding, high prices and snobs do not appeal to everyone.
To be honest, from my experiences while attend a local DC area university that had a notable amount of students from New Jersey, they don't really impress me. Many of them seemed fake, shallow, cliquey, rude, and close-minded to certain "people," I'd compare New Jerseians more to Marylanders in mannerisms and friendliness, which most of the people of both groups - in my experience - have none of. Granted that Northern Virginians are more standoffish and reserved (which in all honestly I would only notice in the inner-beltway and richer suburbs), that's a relief to the outright stick-up-ones-a** attitudes I constantly deal with in most of Maryland and DC.
Quote:
Originally Posted by clammy ear
The people are EXTREMELY snobby, you are spot-on on that. I had very few friends because everyone is so fake and snobby. You just learn to live with it. It was easier for me since my family all lives there, so I just did stuff with them. I can't imagine how hard it is for you!
Then you're one of the lucky ones. I was actually born and raised around this area, and I don't even have that as a social outlet. As the saying goes, the main cultures of DC are the preppy-turned-yuppie, Type-A, trust-fund, cutthroat, snobbish culture, and the ghetto, crime-praising, poverty-embracing, anti-intellectual, lower class culture. The college I went to was dominated by the former culture - the ones who would socially write out anyone who's not of the same (or at least a respectable) neighborhood, income level, or skin color, regardless of the potential the individual held; and no I didn't go to GWU or Georgetown, schools where I would expect such preppyism to occur. And many of my family members, particularly cousins my age, are among the latter culture - the ones who would pick thugism and ghettoism over their own family members for the sake of "racial solidarity and loyalty" all while the older relatives, some of whom lived through Jim Crow, would act like there's nothing wrong and my concerns are unfounded. For 80 percent of the DC area, it is indeed a social cesspool. Unless you lived in Loudoun, Prince William, Fairfax, or certain parts of Montgomery County as a teenager, I can't see how one could make a social connection without conforming to become a preppy spoiled brat or a ghetto hoodlum brat.
Last edited by Do a Barrel Roll; 11-17-2009 at 07:43 AM..
Yes, NOVA is worse than Jersey - Jersey is VERY friendly -
And I try to always be a positive, up beat person and am very friendly - and I cant stand it here.
Are you saying that just the negative people that are always complaining - that will not be happy anywhere are the ONLY ones that cant stand it here. I am sure a lot of happy, positive people cant stand it here either.
Traffic, crowding, high prices and snobs do not appeal to everyone.
Is there no way for you to move back to New Jersey? I've lived in both NJ and NY and someone who really likes Jersey and hates NoVa is probably never going to be happy here or in Maryland, much less in points further south like the Research Triangle.
Part of the common glue in a lot of Jersey is that folks there are generally louder, more opinionated and funnier. There's more bling, too. And people there don't erroneously assume that folks with these attributes are less intelligent or educated or cultured than others; they just assume they're from New Jersey, too. [Having said that, there are areas of NJ where people are pretty reserved and upper-crusty, like Short Hills and Summit.]
Some NJ natives love this area, too - they tone it down a notch at first and then crank it back up later after they've made connections. But some people from NJ who can't or see no reason to change any of their behavior really will have a hard time here (unless, of course, they are present in large numbers, as is the case at U. Md. or other local universities like GW, in which case they can keep carry on as usual like they were in Metuchen).
Is there no way for you to move back to New Jersey?
Why shove Fairfax Mom out of the State? She/he only answered the OPs question and gave her/his opinion. Asking her/him to move out is no solution and appears to be an attempt to silence her/his opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JEB77
Part of the common glue in a lot of Jersey is that folks there are generally louder, more opinionated and funnier. There's more bling, too.
The 'bling' comment is a stereotype. You've been watching too much of "The Sopranos" and "Growing up Gotti."
Quote:
Originally Posted by JEB77
Some NJ natives love this area, too - they tone it down a notch at first and then crank it back up later after they've made connections.
Another stereotype. What makes you think that New Jerseyans have to "tone it down a notch"? Isn't that just being phony and fake (the very thing that many people around her abhor)? Making friends in NoVA is the same as any new area someone moves into -- socialize, join groups, find common interests, etc. Trust me, being from NJ, I haven't changed anything and I have ALOT of friends in NoVA and DC -- it just took time.
Why shove Fairfax Mom out of the State? She/he only answered the OPs question and gave her/his opinion. Asking her/him to move out is no solution and appears to be an attempt to silence her/his opinion.
The 'bling' comment is a stereotype. You've been watching too much of "The Sopranos" and "Growing up Gotti."
Another stereotype. What makes you think that New Jerseyans have to "tone it down a notch"? Isn't that just being phony and fake (the very thing that many people around her abhor)? Making friends in NoVA is the same as any new area someone moves into -- socialize, join groups, find common interests, etc. Trust me, being from NJ, I haven't changed anything and I have ALOT of friends in NoVA and DC -- it just took time.
I'm not pushing Fairfax Mom out of the state; I wish she were happy. But she's not, as her many months of posts reflecting dissatisfaction with the area indicate. I just wish she could find a way to get back to a place where she's happier. It wasn't intended as a "don't let the door hit you on your back to Jersey" comment at all.
There's a danger in any generalizations of how people in any region - NJ or NoVa - behave, so I'll apologize if you take offense. I DO like the Sopranas, but most of what I know about NJ/NY is based on having lived there almost a decade, not watching TV shows. If you recall Fairfax Mom's posts, you'll find that she celebrates the same things I identify, including the higher "bling" quotient:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom
I found out I had to leave Jersey to really appreciate it -
Real bagels, pizza and delis
Real neighborhoods - not many HOAs
Real people - funny characters, people in NJ REALLY are friendlier - easy to approach
Close to beach, mountains, AND city
Taylor ham and cheese, those giant hotdogs with potatos in a pocket
The Pinebarrens Big hair, loud clothes and bling - much more fun than the boring rest of the country
Last edited by JD984; 11-17-2009 at 10:25 AM..
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hey hold it right there
