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It sounds like it's just his personality. It happens. He's his own person with his own ideas and sense of humor. Your son sounds twisted and snarky. I've known tons of guys like him.
This is his personality. He might grow out of it, he might not. But I would just ignore it and let it go.
What did Jenny Lewis say about changing people? It's like trying to clean the ocean. It's just not going to happen. The best you really do is set limits in your home regarding what he says, but I think that will just aggravate the situation.
He will do it himself he refuses to lose no matter what.
So let him win and do everything for himself including paying his own cell phone bill, getting a ride to work, purchasing clothing, purchasing and preparing food, doing his own laundry.
You are continuing to teach him it is okay to treat you like poo on his shoe, refer to his grandparents as retards and completely trample over you like an old used up doormat.
If he is so smart then let him be smart enough to completely fend for himself.
He should be close to 18 if he isn't 18 already so your legal obligations are just about over.
As soon as he is 18 out the door he goes into the bigger, badder, more attitude filled real world than he is able to deal with.
Pull my Mother pants up to my eyeballs and do the hard work of being a parent. You've deflected some very good ideas. Time to stop and think about why you're doing that.
He's, what, 17 and you "can't win"? Wanna bet? Unless he's a sociopath (probably not - learning about Social Darwinism and AP Biology doesn't turn people into sociopaths) you better win or he's going to call his boss a "retard" and you're going to have him living in your basement when he's 37.
Honestly, part of me thinks having someone whom he respects or looks up to in your family or circle of friends just have the "don't be a dick" talk with him might have a big impact. It's not something YOU as a parent can do, but jesus, if someone I'd looked up to had taken me aside and had a friendly "I'm concerned you're turning into an a-hole" talk with me at that age, it would have turned my world upside down. You're his parents, so you're already classed as idiots in his mind, but he's gotta have someone he looks up to, doesn't he?
I'm thinking the kid is just that.. an a-hole. Certain people have a-hole personalities. It doesn't mean they have a disorder, they are just dicks.
Not all kids grow up to be adults with low tempers, sweet, great manners, etc. I mean, whatever. He could grow out of it but maybe he won't.
He will do it himself he refuses to lose no matter what.
This says more about the situation than anything has so far.
He refuses to "lose?" Do you honestly think of family relations as contests of wills where there are clear winners and losers? No wonder he's mouthing off to you. Don't you know that a young man of his age HAS TO establish independence from his mommy? I'm guessing that you've tried to block him from doing so -- the fact that you tried to "block the news" from him indicates as much.
You keep asking strangers on the Internet what to do. Here's what to do -- don't "make" your son see a therapist. Go see one yourself.
In your place, I'd make plans to send him to college out of state to get him away from the family for his own good.
So let him win and do everything for himself including paying his own cell phone bill, getting a ride to work, purchasing clothing, purchasing and preparing food, doing his own laundry.
You are continuing to teach him it is okay to treat you like poo on his shoe, refer to his grandparents as retards and completely trample over you like an old used up doormat.
If he is so smart then let him be smart enough to completely fend for himself.
He should be close to 18 if he isn't 18 already so your legal obligations are just about over.
As soon as he is 18 out the door he goes into the bigger, badder, more attitude filled real world than he is able to deal with.
I would argue he's too immersed in the real world. He has an obsession with everything that is dark and unpleasant. There is no dependency and entitlement issues. He won't respond to this anyway he will simply adjust.
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