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Old 03-31-2016, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Upstate NY!
13,819 posts, read 24,553,036 times
Reputation: 7615

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Based on what I've read, the kid is a lost cause at this point. Most probably, biological and/or psychological causes made him who he is, and both were out of his control. In the old days, the kid would be institutionalized. I can only see bad things for this child as he grows older, and pity his victims. The parents have created a monster destined to do very bad things.

Last edited by jfkIII; 03-31-2016 at 02:21 PM..
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Old 03-31-2016, 02:18 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,572 posts, read 21,756,199 times
Reputation: 44352
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jbones112 View Post
I'm at the end of my rope. He calls her a c..nt, talks back constantly. He already has been removed from public school for exposing him self, swearing at teachers students and hitting. He has no diagnosed disabilities. He doesn't have any fear of punishment. He has to be watched while handling small animals and dogs. He abuses animals tried to choke a guinea pig and purposely hurt it and constantly feels the need to hurt things. He has never been hit or abused. He accepts no redirection from us or his teachers. He has to have the last word no matter what. I've raised my god son/nephew due to his mother being absent and helped with my cousins children for a few years after he passed and they had some issues of their own. I've never had a child be so disrespectful and have no remorse for his actions like this and have had to stop him from coming to my house because of fear what he will do or lie and say. And refuse to be alone with him ever he can not be trusted. He has told school and child protective services lies on countless occasions lies to get his way and try to get his mother and I in trouble for taking his tablet away and said we hit him . He is extremely manipulative. He also said daddy touched my peanut to avoid going there for split custody which has been forever. Upon investigating the department of child services specialist decided it was a lie. I don't know what to do and it's tearing us apart. My girlfriend constantly makes excuses and doesn't punish and still gives him chance after chance. Shes leaving me no options and I see myself losing it I'm not perfect and at the end of my rope. I am an extremely laid back individual who is always calm and believe in structure, unconditional love and understanding but I'm losing it. Help

One word of advice - RUN!!!!
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Old 03-31-2016, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Northwest Arkansas
484 posts, read 327,617 times
Reputation: 1106
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
Sounds like mom's main focus should be trying to help her deeply disturbed son, not maintaining a relationship with a boyfriend. Since she doesn't have enough sense to make that decision on her own, make it for her. Leave the relationship and let her focus on her son.

I don't get these type of situations at all. Who would willingly sign up for that kind of drama? He's not your kid. He's his parents' problem. Let them handle it.
This is so true. It's why when I was dating, women with children were completely out of the question. I don't want to deal with someone else's kid that likely has innumerable issues.
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Old 03-31-2016, 02:43 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,802,296 times
Reputation: 61840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jbones112 View Post
His school thinks his father is awesome even though he has never showed up for one meeting or iep plan and thinks we are the problem because the boy complains about me putting him in time out and taking toys away when I was allowed to do so. I know he makes me sound horrible at his school. I'm the only one who was consistently punishing him I think so I'm the enemy.
So you are not allowed to discipline this child but it is perfect that the child is allowed to cause all of this heartache, turmoil and drama AND you get to pay for all his stuff?


You should have left this mess long ago, the child is the responsibility of his parents and as hard as it is going to be you have got to remove yourself completely from this child and his mother. Let her and the child's father deal with the issues without you being a distraction to the mother.


You can't save anyone who does not want saved and you continueing to allow yourself to be used is merely enabling the behavior to continue.
Break it off completely and move forward and enjoy your much less dramatics filled life.
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Old 03-31-2016, 02:54 PM
 
13 posts, read 13,440 times
Reputation: 36
Then this just happened about an hr and a half. Ago. My gf asked me to go with her to get him off the van from school because the new driver is really affible and Im quessing she wanted to see if he did the same with me around idk. As soon as her son got of the bus he saw me and said "**** me man" and proceeded to run his mouth. His mother said we're dropping him off its ok. They both didn't realize I had the sun roof open and heard everything. So she got in the car and said look who it is to me like I'm supposed to be happy to see him and say hello like I didn't just hear him. So I told her I heard him and her do nothing about it. W.e sick of arguments moving on so she asks him about his day and how the new drivers been this week. He says "the driver doesn't listen and hes stupid I told him to shut up". Again no correction she only says yeah he is creepy and kind of agrees and joined in on his blatantly disrespectful behavior. Next he says my teacher ms. R says I don't listen she is stupid. Again totally ignoring his disrespect towards adults. So I asked why didn't she say anything or do something about it she said she didn't hear him. Wtf so then he asks her again about dropping me off just to start his ****. So I calmly asked him why he's asking the same question mommy already told you the answer too. He told me to shut up and called me stupid . Wow she finally said hey we talked about that but he was still running his mouth swearing. I have never wanted to hit a child like I want to hit him I don't even believe in it. So I lost it for a sec and side hammer fisted the door so hard i cracked the panel it made both of them jump and told him to be quiet right now. He did so and so did she then I asked her to bring me home immediately. I've never done anything like that. What is this kid doing to me. I acted like an animal its embarrassing and just to get listened to. Ive never been in a fight as an adult. I don't drink or use drugs. I have no criminal record. I get along with everyone accept his father. I'm not violent nor do I yell and scream .
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Old 03-31-2016, 03:00 PM
 
6 posts, read 3,542 times
Reputation: 21
The answer is in front you -
Leave today and don't look back.
I'd leave now before you get married.
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Old 03-31-2016, 03:03 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,967,152 times
Reputation: 5475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveswater_outdoors View Post
This is so true. It's why when I was dating, women with children were completely out of the question. I don't want to deal with someone else's kid that likely has innumerable issues.
And as a single mom I totally respect that decision. Unless you date some incompetent half ass parent, any woman with a child should be putting that child first and foremost. I can't imagine my child having the kind of problems the child in the OP has and me being even semi concerned with a boyfriend. Her only priority should be getting help for her kid before he kills somebody.
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Old 03-31-2016, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,228 posts, read 963,619 times
Reputation: 3822
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jbones112 View Post
Then this just happened about an hr and a half. Ago. My gf asked me to go with her to get him off the van from school because the new driver is really affible and Im quessing she wanted to see if he did the same with me around idk. As soon as her son got of the bus he saw me and said "**** me man" and proceeded to run his mouth. His mother said we're dropping him off its ok. They both didn't realize I had the sun roof open and heard everything. So she got in the car and said look who it is to me like I'm supposed to be happy to see him and say hello like I didn't just hear him. So I told her I heard him and her do nothing about it. W.e sick of arguments moving on so she asks him about his day and how the new drivers been this week. He says "the driver doesn't listen and hes stupid I told him to shut up". Again no correction she only says yeah he is creepy and kind of agrees and joined in on his blatantly disrespectful behavior. Next he says my teacher ms. R says I don't listen she is stupid. Again totally ignoring his disrespect towards adults. So I asked why didn't she say anything or do something about it she said she didn't hear him. Wtf so then he asks her again about dropping me off just to start his ****. So I calmly asked him why he's asking the same question mommy already told you the answer too. He told me to shut up and called me stupid . Wow she finally said hey we talked about that but he was still running his mouth swearing. I have never wanted to hit a child like I want to hit him I don't even believe in it. So I lost it for a sec and side hammer fisted the door so hard i cracked the panel it made both of them jump and told him to be quiet right now. He did so and so did she then I asked her to bring me home immediately. I've never done anything like that. What is this kid doing to me. I acted like an animal its embarrassing and just to get listened to. Ive never been in a fight as an adult. I don't drink or use drugs. I have no criminal record. I get along with everyone accept his father. I'm not violent nor do I yell and scream .
You have 2 choices

1. Leave
2. Continue to co-sign this madness
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Old 03-31-2016, 03:52 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,105 posts, read 17,646,574 times
Reputation: 22454
Wow dude you have now reached your limit . Leave and leave today and never look back and agree to never see them again the gf and her rowdy lil one . This kid has major problems and the gf agreeing with him is out of this world . She is trying to be his friend and not his parent that right there is a major red flag . Dude you aint changing this at all go and go now and tell gf you never want to see them again . End it before you are hospitalized or worse .
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Old 03-31-2016, 03:56 PM
 
468 posts, read 480,287 times
Reputation: 516
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorkiforniainHouston View Post
You have 2 choices

1. Leave
2. Continue to co-sign this madness
Agreed, at this point I'd put things in motion just to go.

I don't like it that, it seems, the school for the kids with behavioral problems is the one who thinks the kid is in the right (!? I think I read that right). Seems like maybe they mysteriously don't have much experience with budding sociopaths. Or, maybe they do have the boy's number and they're fibbing so as to stay on his side, for whatever good that might do.

And the mother has de facto already publicly sided with her kid against OP, so she's got no interest in helping to socialize her son. Smh... the person who called her a pushover is spot on.

You will never win this battle, OP, as long as your GF is inclined to circle the ranks with her son to "us against him" you. You can't even remotely come close to helping, if that is her attitude. In fact, this suggests to me that she's done this before about and with other boyfriends. Her first loyalty is to the budding thug she's raising.

He won't return the loyalty.
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