Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Have you never taken your children on vacation? It seems packing up is only a problem for some parents when the destination is grandma and grandpa.
Actually we, like a previous poster, have spent our whole married lives spending ALL of our vacation time flying to visit grandparents. We took one vacation to Disney back in 2008. Believe it or not there are families where the grandparents expect the traveling to be the responsibility of their kids.
Actually we, like a previous poster, have spent our whole married lives spending ALL of our vacation time flying to visit grandparents. We took one vacation to Disney back in 2008. Believe it or not there are families where the grandparents expect the traveling to be the responsibility of their kids.
Expectations don't have to be met. If you've been giving up all family vacation time every single year, that's due to an inability to say no, not this year.
But the OP is not about resenting traveling to see her grandchildren. It's about being made to feel guilty when her finances don't allow it. Neither party should be expected to do all the traveling, shoulder all the expenses, and give up all their vacation time.
I admit it has been two years since I have gone down but there is just nothing I can do in the realm of finances this year .
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61
My dogs are also 12 and 14 yrs old so it wont be long before they are gone and then i can make the trip easier because i would be financially able then .
Honestly, I'd advise your son to just accept that knowing the grandkids is not a high priority for you, and to move on with his immediate family's life absent your involvement. If you're telling him, "Yeah, I know it's been two years since I ventured out, but if you wait another few years for the dogs to pass away, then I'll be free to expend time and money on family"...well. Even if you have a fair point about logistics, it should be easy to see how his feelings could be hurt if you don't make the effort to figure out a way to visit for 4+ years, especially when you only live a few hours away.
Unless you are in extreme poverty I'm kinda dubious about not being able to scrounge up a couple hundred bucks for dog board over the course of years. Let's say board is 30 bucks a day per dog and you want to board two dogs for three days. That's $180, tops. If you set aside $7 per week for six months, you've saved more than enough. Over the two years since your last visit - it would have been less than $2 per week to save up that much. Perhaps you can see how from his point of view, you've literally set a low value on this relationship.
After a certain time in life it's up to the kids to visit you. That's unfair to burden you with boarding older dogs. I agree ,I don't want a neighborhood kid to have access to my home. Tell your kids if they want to see you they know where you live. A 6 hour trip is nothing and I'm sure they could find another place along the way they want to see. I know boarding pets is expensive. Don't let them throw a guilt trip on you.
After a certain time in life it's up to the kids to visit you. That's unfair to burden you with boarding older dogs. I agree ,I don't want a neighborhood kid to have access to my home. Tell your kids if they want to see you they know where you live. A 6 hour trip is nothing and I'm sure they could find another place along the way they want to see. I know boarding pets is expensive. Don't let them throw a guilt trip on you.
I don't think she's at that arbitrary point in life. If her husband has to work for 10 more years, they're probably in their 50's. That's not old.
The son shouldn't have a problem taking his family on a 6 hour trip. When I was growing up my dad and mom took me,my brother and sister to see my grandpa in florida from michigan every year since I can remember, sometimes twice a year in my dads truck.
We used to also go camping in tents on our property that was 6 hours across state a few times a year. Traveling with kids isn't anything more than a minor inconvience. Sounds like excuses are being made on both sides to me. If finances are tight than one should help the other to afford the trip. I mean these days a 6 hour trip is what, $50 in gas for a round trip.
I have taken weekend trips that were about 8 hrs away just to check out a new site seeing area. With it being such a short car ride, it is both sides just making excusses why they can't take a weekend to see one another really!
no I'm sorry i don't have friends or a neighbor that could watch our dogs ...and it is a 6 hr car trip for them as well as for me ....
Can you drive and bring dogs with you?
I drive from FL to NJ and my cat comes with me, it's longer than a 6 hour trip, involves overnight then when I get to NJ I stay with my daughter as she has the room and doesn't mind the cat.
Ooops just read more and see your dogs are elderly so a 6 hour car trip may not work.
Do you have Facebook? Does your son? You can facetime with the grands through the private messenger, as well as other ways to facetime.
We try to do it once a month.
also to who ever left the nasty msg on my feedback , No I have more than a son , I have two sons and a daughter and the no . 1 son is the only one who seems to have a problem trying to get upset over me not having the finances to visit and I just want to say thanks for leaving a nasty snarky msg . I hope God is kinder to you than you were to me ...
report the msg to mods they can figure out who left it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
