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I wouldn't trust anyone to come to my house to take care of my dogs, particularly ''a neighborhood kid.'' I want my pets to be alive and safe when I return.
Huh? Plenty of reliable and responsible teenagers provide dog-walking and pet-sitting services. My own children do this for our neighbors, and they do a great job! Honestly, the way you talk about teenagers makes me wonder if you actually know any. The very idea that a kid, MY KID, solely by virtue of being under the age of twenty, would let a pet die, is disturbing to say the least. You'd be very lucky to have one of my children take care of your pets. They absolutely adore all of the animals on our street and always go above and beyond the basics when pet-sitting.
Huh? Plenty of reliable and responsible teenagers provide dog-walking and pet-sitting services. My own children have done this for our neighbors, and they do a great job! Honestly, the way you talk about teenagers makes me wonder if you actually know any. The very idea that a kid, MY KID, solely by virtue of being under the age of twenty, would let a pet die, is disturbing to say the least. And let me tell you, you'd be very lucky to have one of my children take care of your pets. They absolutely adore all of the animals on our street and always go above and beyond the basics when pet-sitting.
Not at all. I know two SAHMs in my neighborhood who have thriving pet-sitting services, and lots of the ten-to-twelve set do a great job, too. My daughter used to take care of a very elderly dog in our neighborhood each afternoon, stopping by on her way home from middle school. When the dog died last year, you'd have thought she'd lost her own pet. She was absolutely crushed. Don't underestimate the kids. Choose carefully, and you may find that they're better than the licensed and bonded professional pet-sitters and definitely better than a kennel.
Being a dog owner does mean that you have additional responsibilities and limitations on your time and flexibility. It seems that this fact gets glossed over these days as we see, for instance, so many people bring dogs into questionable places because they won't be left at home.
I don't think this creates a responsibility of the NON dog owner to change plans.
There are three generations in the OP's post, none of which truly is entitled to get their way 100%. I feel for the middle generation here as they are being pressured to succumb to the desires of the generation below AND above. Frankly, I think that's not fair.
This is me…but life isn't fair, lol. My husband and I pay to travel and visit his parents and NY family every year. His parents have come a couple of times over the years but none of his 5 siblings. We also pay for my stepdaughter and her kids to visit when we are in Florida for the winter. While in TN(about 7 months a year) we have her and the grands over for breakfast every sunday. This has been going on for years. Not once has she invited us for a meal. It makes it hard to want to keep being the one to "make" things work.
This is me…but life isn't fair, lol. My husband and I pay to travel and visit his parents and NY family every year. His parents have come a couple of times over the years but none of his 5 siblings. We also pay for my stepdaughter and her kids to visit when we are in Florida for the winter.
While in TN(about 7 months a year) we have her and the grands over for breakfast every sunday. This has been going on for years. Not once has she invited us for a meal. It makes it hard to want to keep being the one to "make" things work.
This may sound obvious, but have you or your husband ever said "Hey, how about next Sunday we go to your house for breakfast?" Or "Let's switch off houses every week?"
Within my extended family we had a similar situation where the adult child/spouse & grandchildren regularly went to grandma & grandpa's house for meals because they thought that is what the older couple wanted, even though they (the daughter & SIL)really wanted to host more meals at their house.
The grandparents never mentioned anything to them,but in fact felt taken advantage of because the adult child never invited them to their house. This went on for several years with each couple assuming that they were doing what the other couple wanted them to do.
Luckily the older couple complained to the same person that the adult daughter complained to, who advised them to actually talk to each other. After an somewhat hesitant discussion, the problem was solved, and when they got together for meals it was divided more evenly between their houses. Everyone was happy.
This may sound obvious, but have you or your husband ever said "Hey, how about next Sunday we go to your house for breakfast?" Or "Let's switch off houses every week?"
Within my extended family we had a similar situation where the adult child/spouse & grandchildren regularly went to grandma & grandpa's house for meals because they thought that is what the older couple wanted, even though they (the daughter & SIL)really wanted to host more meals at their house.
The grandparents never mentioned anything to them,but in fact felt taken advantage of because the adult child never invited them to their house. This went on for several years with each couple assuming that they were doing what the other couple wanted them to do.
Luckily the older couple complained to the same person that the adult daughter complained to, who advised them to actually talk to each other. After an somewhat hesitant discussion, the problem was solved, and when they got together for meals it was divided more evenly between their houses. Everyone was happy.
Yes we did try that but there is the excuse that it is her husband's quiet time…and she is just too busy…working 20 hours a week It did work though when my husband asked them to help clear the table and help me with the dishes. He got tired of them treating it like a restaurant for years and they finally starting helping me last month. Yeah…who knew you needed to ask people to do the decent thing.
You are right though…to some people some things just don't occur and sometimes it can work out.
Does the family that moved away make a difference? My dad promised my mom that he'd take her home to VA. once a year, if she'd move us out to CA. My poor dad made that long trip over 40 times in his lifetime.
(mom didn't drive) This number also counted rushing back for funerals. Hard to believe he drove us straight through without sleep one time.
My grandma never, ever came out to visit. She's the one that said whoever moves away has to do the visiting. I believe its whoever has the time and money. My kid w/grands moved from CA. to MO. so I did the only thing I could and followed them. That's not for everyone, and it just worked out it was the best thing for me.
OP, I also like the meet in the middle suggestion and hope it works for you. I also have 2 dogs. If I boarded them or left them with strangers, one would hang himself. He couldn't handle being away from me, he's my shadow and loves me more than food.
Its a shame families move away from each other. In a perfect world we'd all be close and in the same town.
why do adult kids try to guilt you into something ? LOL
Since when did kids ever NOT try and shame or guilt trip a parent?? Never..They learn very early to do that...However..when a parent stands tall and is consistent..they learn it doesn't work...So I say..For parent's out there wether single or 2 parent families..Consistency is a MUST!! That also goes to having parent or parents being consistent and remain on the same page.
Often 2 parent families have one weaker parent..and often kids realize that and TRY as they must..TRY and Try again!! IF it wasn't so transparent to the OP..just maybe no one pointed it out to you. Huge lesson to learn..Stick to your guns per say...as kids grow up..they share such tactics..so expect it..That's where good councillors can educate you IF you ever were availed with Good Ones!!
While kids try..IF consistent..Repercussions..lessons get taught..and pray THEY learn..Just know and realize being inconsistent actually empowers such tacts by kids..and use it even throughout adulthood!!
All I can say..Wish yu luck First thing I learned once my kids became adults..was be able to say NO..and No and maintain that consistent theme. Doesn't mean yu don't Love them..Just means you cannot bail them out for BAD decisions they make...IF you do spend money on them to help them out..make sure it's a LOAN..and get a signed contract..because otherwise..they will never understand..There's responsibility and payback..even IF you die..they will be responsible for that debt to your Estate..especially if their siblings have asked for nothing..why should their inheritance be affected?? ..LOL Sorry don't mean to be morbid..but Adult children need to realize..NO FREE Rides!!
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It did work though when my husband asked them to help clear the table and help me with the dishes. He got tired of them treating it like a restaurant for years and they finally starting helping me last month. Yeah…who knew you needed to ask people to do the decent thing.
That's not for everyone, and it just worked out it was the best thing for me.
First thing I learned once my kids became adults..was be able to say NO..and No and maintain that consistent theme. Doesn't mean yu don't Love them..Just means you cannot bail them out for BAD decisions they make...IF you do spend money on them to help them out..make sure it's a LOAN..and get a signed contract..because otherwise..they will never understand..There's responsibility and payback..even IF you die..they will be responsible for that debt to your Estate..especially if their siblings have asked for nothing..why should their inheritance be affected?? ..LOL Sorry don't mean to be morbid..but Adult children need to realize..NO FREE Rides!! 
