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Old 11-07-2018, 01:01 PM
Status: "Bored" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Sacramento
41 posts, read 4,328 times
Reputation: 20

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My sons girlfriend ( Rachelle ) has been cheating with my friends (Tracy) son every other day for about 6 months now. My friend said she found out about it by walking in on them one day a while back. She We all live in the same neighborhood and she lives behind us. We go to the same gatherings and family events so were pretty close.

My son is 19 and my friends son is the same age. The girlfriend is 19. Shes still dating brandon (my son) but sleeps with my friends son often. Ive come to learn that she goes by my friends house right before coming over here to my son.

I asked my sister what she thought of it and she said that teen boys are very sensetive about their relationships and he might get angry at me for ” interfering ” or “butting in” or “sticking your nose”.
My sister askedcme how long has she been cheating and I told her ” for about 6 months”.
She said shes suprised that he hasnt figured out yet.
I feel wierd for not getting involved since I know exactly every time when they are doing it. (he still lives at home too) but I know my sister is probably right.

What do you other parents think ????
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Old 11-07-2018, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,319 posts, read 37,918,871 times
Reputation: 74117
I would have a conversation with Rachelle.
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Old 11-07-2018, 01:19 PM
 
353 posts, read 63,482 times
Reputation: 413
Quote:
Originally Posted by widowspeak67 View Post
My sons girlfriend ( Rachelle ) has been cheating with my friends (Tracy) son every other day for about 6 months now. My friend said she found out about it by walking in on them one day a while back. She We all live in the same neighborhood and she lives behind us. We go to the same gatherings and family events so were pretty close.

My son is 19 and my friends son is the same age. The girlfriend is 19. Shes still dating brandon (my son) but sleeps with my friends son often. Ive come to learn that she goes by my friends house right before coming over here to my son.

I asked my sister what she thought of it and she said that teen boys are very sensetive about their relationships and he might get angry at me for ” interfering ” or “butting in” or “sticking your nose”.
My sister askedcme how long has she been cheating and I told her ” for about 6 months”.
She said shes suprised that he hasnt figured out yet.
I feel wierd for not getting involved since I know exactly every time when they are doing it. (he still lives at home too) but I know my sister is probably right.

What do you other parents think ????
Tell your son what Tracey told you and give him a chance to reply. Tell him your friend’s mom said she walked in on them a while back.

Don’t accuse Rachel of cheating. Don’t tell your son what to do. But do be honest with him about what you heard and be supportive.

It could be that Tracey’s son is the actual bf and that Rachel is cheating on Tracey’s son with your son. Or Tracy could be making the whole thing up to try and sabotage their relationship.
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Old 11-07-2018, 02:08 PM
 
146 posts, read 34,804 times
Reputation: 506
I wouldn't intervene, but if your son's girlfriend becomes pregnant at some point while they're still together, be sure to strongly encourage your son to sign nothing until a DNA test has been performed (unless, of course, he has no issue with being on the hook both financially and emotionally for raising another man's child).
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Old 11-07-2018, 02:48 PM
 
8,234 posts, read 6,583,936 times
Reputation: 8524
I wouldn’t outright blame or point fingers at anyone at this point, it’s all second hand information.
a personal talk with your kid is in order to express your own concerns, nothing more.
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Old 11-07-2018, 02:49 PM
 
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río Porciúncula
13,920 posts, read 14,154,468 times
Reputation: 9888
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levels77 View Post
It could be that Tracey’s son is the actual bf and that Rachel is cheating on Tracey’s son with your son. Or Tracy could be making the whole thing up to try and sabotage their relationship.
Wow, Levels, that is totally thinking outside the box! You are doing a fantastic job with your efforts here at CD-R!

I don't know what to do about it. In relationships I'm always afraid I might touch something and break it, something that wouldn't have broke without my interference.

For example my sister thinks her husband has cheated on her and they are having marital difficulties. I'm walking on eggshells, trying to say nothing to influence the outcome, for fear my interference might be the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm just supportive of her and keep my comments neutral.

It will be interesting to see how the CD-R experts handle this.
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Old 11-07-2018, 03:29 PM
 
353 posts, read 63,482 times
Reputation: 413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound View Post
Wow, Levels, that is totally thinking outside the box! You are doing a fantastic job with your efforts here at CD-R!

I don't know what to do about it. In relationships I'm always afraid I might touch something and break it, something that wouldn't have broke without my interference.

For example my sister thinks her husband has cheated on her and they are having marital difficulties. I'm walking on eggshells, trying to say nothing to influence the outcome, for fear my interference might be the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm just supportive of her and keep my comments neutral.

It will be interesting to see how the CD-R experts handle this.
Thanks!

Once when online dating I came across a profile of a man that one of my best friend's was supposed to be in a relationship with! I told her, I came across his profile online. And I let her do what she wants with that information because what I told her is true.

In this case the hard thing is, as someone pointed out, the information that Rachel is at this other guy's house is hearsay. But what is true is that the mother was told this by Tracy and that is what the mother should say when she talks to her son. She should say, "This is what I heard and because you are my son and I love you, I couldn't keep this from you. What do you think?"

The son needs to feel like the mom is remaining completely neutral and not jumping to conclusions. He should feel like his mother trusts him to make the right decision about what to do with that information, even if the decision is to do nothing, and to continue seeing the girl.

And then his mom should not bring it up again.
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Old 11-07-2018, 03:47 PM
Status: "Bored" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Sacramento
41 posts, read 4,328 times
Reputation: 20
Hey Im back. I read some of the replies.
My son and my friends son aren't friends but not enemies either.
Me and been friends since 10
My son and his gf been together for 2 years

I dont see why my friend would make it up.

Im surprised she told me that honestly
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Old 11-07-2018, 03:54 PM
 
Location: Hockey Rulez, Texas
417 posts, read 81,189 times
Reputation: 641
If it were me, and I found out later that my mother knew and kept this from me.... I would be super upset.

You need to tell him.
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Old 11-07-2018, 03:58 PM
Status: "Bored" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Sacramento
41 posts, read 4,328 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I would have a conversation with Rachelle.
Ill text her today and tell her what Tracey said
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