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Yes, I allow sleepovers. My son has stayed at friends houses many times and they have stayed here. First sleepovers started about a year ago. My son is 4 1/2yrs old. I can't shelter him from the world and the last thing I would ever want to do is restrict my child from being a child and keeping a leash so tight on him that he can't just enjoy life. I make sure to get to know my son's parents, and vise versa. That is the job of a parent. If you don't know the parents of the friends of your child, well, start getting to know them.
I see this is an old thread, but sleepovers every weekend at age 5 seems excessive to me. My 8 year old has only ever been to 2, both birthday parties. I don't think I'd allow them so often (every week or even every month) because the kid is so tired and cranky the next day. If we want to go to church or do something as a family, a sleep deprived kid is not good.
My daughter is only 5 and she's been asked to sleepover on several occasions. I have a niece to does sleepovers a lot (nearly every weekend), and I just don't understand the benefit to them. They stay up late, eat junk food, and do questionable things (like talk to boys, the internet, etc.). My husband and I are on the same page about sleepovers, we just don't want to go down that road, at all. But my questions are: Are they ever appropriate? Do kids benefit from them? Why are people asking us already when my kid is only 5? How can I say we don't do sleepovers without sounding judgemental?
How does everyone feel about them? Enlighten me please.
Not reading responses. Lighten up. It's that easy. Let your kids be social, if you're so worried, you host. I grew up spending one weekend out of about every 2-3 at a friends house, NBD.
My daughter is only 5 and she's been asked to sleepover on several occasions. I have a niece to does sleepovers a lot (nearly every weekend), and I just don't understand the benefit to them. They stay up late, eat junk food, and do questionable things (like talk to boys, the internet, etc.). My husband and I are on the same page about sleepovers, we just don't want to go down that road, at all. But my questions are: Are they ever appropriate? Do kids benefit from them? Why are people asking us already when my kid is only 5? How can I say we don't do sleepovers without sounding judgemental?
How does everyone feel about them? Enlighten me please.
We feel the same way you do......we didn't allow our children to sleep-overs...not untill they were teens anyways...I would just tell my young kids they could play over until it was bedtime...and then they could come home and sleep in their own beds....it was never an issue in our house as it was not up for discussion...I don't think that kids can benefit from them, any more than sleeping in their own homes.....I never felt I was being judgemental by saying no....I personally wanted my young children sleeping at home...and at 5 years..if I let them stay.....I would have even more gray hairs than I already do.....my children never felt that they were missing out.....and we could rest easy knowing that they were safe and secure in our own home.
We feel the same way you do......we didn't allow our children to sleep-overs...not untill they were teens anyways...I would just tell my young kids they could play over until it was bedtime...and then they could come home and sleep in their own beds....it was never an issue in our house as it was not up for discussion...I don't think that kids can benefit from them, any more than sleeping in their own homes.....I never felt I was being judgemental by saying no....I personally wanted my young children sleeping at home...and at 5 years..if I let them stay.....I would have even more gray hairs than I already do.....my children never felt that they were missing out.....and we could rest easy knowing that they were safe and secure in our own home.
I did the same. I just picked them up at around 10 pm. They were usually ready to come home by then. They had the fun already.
Yes, they were always excited and wanting to sleep over in the beginning but usually on most all occasions they were glad we picked them up at 10. The excitement wears off later in the night and I never saw the need to just sleep over at someones home just to be picked up early the next morning. They were tired, had stomach aches from all the crap and nobody ever seemed to notice they didn't sleep there. Some would even forget they didn't. lol
If they went with relatives, cousins for example to a vacation spot, or camping that was allowed if it was like, grandma or grandpa, close responsible relatives only. I have some I wouldn't allow, they let their teens drink around the family, etc.
I think it is important to form relationships with like minded parents. It makes things easier. I don't think one needs to give into parent pressure. lol Don't teach your kids to give into something they aren't comfortable with by doing it yourself. If you stick to your parenting ideals you will just end up forming friendships with like minded parents and that is a good thing! So do what's comfortable, IMO.
It's best for all involved, the no sleep over parents (or cautious) and the "all the times" get along better together I'v noticed. They share the same ideals. Otherwise as you can see on here there is resentment, and that is never a good environment. Doesn't make for "happy times" lol Go for the less stressful options. You'll find other families like you to hang with and your kids will be friends with less tension.
My children have done sleep-overs since they were fairly young. I am selective about where and when, and as with every other parenting decision, use my best judgement on a case by case basis. I do know of many parents who don't allow them, and that is their prerogative.
My kids love sleep-overs, and I think it's a fun aspect of childhood. We discuss personal safety frequently anyway, and reinforce it prior to sleep-overs.
Does mischief happen? Sure. No sleep, someone getting their face "sharpied", pouring water on the first one to fall asleep, etc. Some of it requires action, some is just harmless kid-fun.
Eh, to each their own- he is no less safe and secure in the homes of parents I trust than he is in in own home, so I don't see the problem. He benefits from sleepovers at his friends just as much as I do, and his friends benefit from sleeping over here just as much as their parents do.
NEOhioBound....key words being "parents I trust"....it's good that you have that...I didn't...at least not until they were older...and then...like you said..basically...everyone benefited...parents and children alike.
NEOhioBound....key words being "parents I trust"....it's good that you have that...I didn't...at least not until they were older...and then...like you said..basically...everyone benefited...parents and children alike.
You know that is really the key. The close friends I had before kids and during kids ended up being different parents than me. They continued partying hard through parenthood, drinking parties ever weekend, and I just could never hang in the "trust them with my kids" arena. lol
Now that we all have teens it's the same. They have beer bongs at there homes for the kids when they sleep over, etc. They think it's fine for the teens to drink in a controlled environment and are so drunk themselves that they wouldn't know anyway. They are the block partiers. There isn't a night in hell I would send my teens over there for a sleep over. Plenty that do though, girls and boys they don't care they have an "open door" policy as well and some of the parents are of like mind of course and some that probably don't realize that's the environment because they don't know them that well and didn't check because their kids are older.
I think that insight with me has made a difference. I'm pretty careful now. I try and find like minded parents. Despite them being life long friends I wouldn't trust them with my kids, they are usually hammered regardless of who's spending the night at their homes by 9 or 10pm. Even when the kids were small, how could I possibly think they would take good care of the kids there. I stopped all that behavior when I had kids and a family, a lot of people don't. That's ok but I really think it pays to get some friends that you share some value about your kids with. I got sick of hearing how I needed to just relax, that I was overly cautious. I finally sort of fell off the friend wagon. I have no regrets.
Sometimes knowing them really well is one of the reasons you DON'T send your kids to their house. lol
I'm hoping my sons crowd of friends parents will turn out a bit easier for me to handle.
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I grew up spending one weekend out of about every 2-3 at a friends house, NBD.
You'll find other families like you to hang with and your kids will be friends with less tension.
I stopped all that behavior when I had kids and a family, a lot of people don't. That's ok but I really think it pays to get some friends that you share some value about your kids with. I got sick of hearing how I needed to just relax, that I was overly cautious. I finally sort of fell off the friend wagon. I have no regrets. 
