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The fact is that in many parts of the world women keep their family name, and that is *traditional* in their culture. The Western cultural tradition of a woman taking her husbands name stems from the fact that she and their children became his property when they married, much like slaves were given the masters' last name.
That is why a lot of women and feminists reject the tradition, and frankly I think they should. Why should women give up their identity and cultural heritage tied to their family name?
My family name is my father's name. And if I used my mother's maiden name, well, that's her father's name. There's no escaping patrilineage, really.
I strongly believe that people should do what they want to do in this regard. I took my husband's name. My maiden name was also really long and really hard to pronounce.
I'm the reverse! I took my husband's, mostly because mine is veryveryveryveryvery common and I was bored with it. My husband's last name isn't hard to pronounce, but it is long and you have to spell it for everybody. I'm fairly middle-of-the-road when it comes to marriage traditions...some I go for, others, not so much. But I like the taking of the name, and I wasn't particularly attached to mine. My husband was cool with it either way.
And, like others have said, keeping my maiden name isn't a particularly grrrl-power stance or anything. It's my dad's name...I still end up with some dude's name. My identity remains the same, no matter the name I choose to go by. I do think the paperwork of a name change is a massive PITA, though...currently going through it all, both in the military/DoD's DEERS registration system, and legally.
The fact is that in many parts of the world women keep their family name, and that is *traditional* in their culture. The Western cultural tradition of a woman taking her husbands name stems from the fact that she and their children became his property when they married, much like slaves were given the masters' last name.
That is why a lot of women and feminists reject the tradition, and frankly I think they should. Why should women give up their identity and cultural heritage tied to their family name?
Well, that may have been the origin of the tradition, but it's not the tradition anymore, is it?
I mean, people still say 'bless you' when you sneeze, but nobody seriously thinks there are evil spirits in you anymore.
When I took my husband's name, I wasn't giving up my identity and cultural heritage. I was joining with him to create a family. We merged our finances, our furniture, everything. At the risk of sounding sappy, we became one. I suppose I could have hyphenated my name, but I really didn't feel the need to. I was proud and happy to take his name.
And by the way, from a geneology standpoint, people keeping their father's name is a nightmare.
There is money reasons to keep my last name that only go to men that are in the family so if your a famale you get nothing LOL. It is just rights to all the lands oil , gold, and minerals it not a big deal .
My girlfriend told me I'd be taking her last name if we ever get married. Still waiting on a ring from her, fingers crossed.
Awww. That just made me smile.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne
If I were to get married, I would keep my name. So would he. That's what would work best for us. This particular tradition doesn't hold any importance to me.
That's most likely what we'll be doing, if we get married. I might be willing to consider hyphenating for social use only, although our last names would be a bit of a tongue twister.
I have a professional reputation associated with my birth name, and if I were to change my last name tomorrow it would cause a lot of confusion. I've also been known by this name for close to 40 years and can't imagine the shock of changing it. Maybe if I was 20 I'd be more open to the idea?
I also would like to avoid the stress of updating all of my paperwork (passport, drivers license, mortgage papers, other legal docs, etc). Especially by the time you reach middle age, it's pretty complicated to just change your name.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Having seen what a friend had to go through to change her name back after a divorce, I wouldn't recommend it.
THIS. i've seen friends and relatives have to really jump through hoops.
I hardly ever meet "70s style feminists." Most women feel comfortable and treated equally in modern society and feel they don't need activism to be equal to men.
This generalization is probably not accurate. I assume you are talking about first world countries - your statement certainly does not apply to the world.
I would take my husband's last name unless it was a terrible name. I kind of like the idea of taking the husband's name, simply because I associate it with marriage. But I think it's really up to the individuals and I would never judge someone on as silly a thing as "did you take your husband's name when you married?"
This generalization is probably not accurate. I assume you are talking about first world countries - your statement certainly does not apply to the world.
Yes. I agree and never intended to imply otherwise.
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