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NYC is not one variable. As has been clearly noted it's an umbrella for dozens of variables.
I don't buy the millionaire dating the waitress story. It's a hypothetical anecdote thrown around on this forum quite a bit, but it's pretty worthless. The rich and beautiful in NY are dating the rich and beautiful in NY, just as they do around the globe.
he might not actually date the waitress, but you'd be naive to think that a wealthy guy that had the chance to hook up with a young, attractive bartender/waitress would pass on the opportunity simply because of her economic status.
one of my previous roommates was a sales associate barely making $50K a year, but was dating a guy that ran his own hedge fund and they were together for a number of years.
I will say this - when I was in my 20's, I worked off and on at a gym on the upper east side. I got asked out all the time by the members and the personal trainers. I'm sure some of the members had a lot of money. If I had been the type of women that cared about that - I could easily have dated a rich guy just for the sake of dating a rich guy. Some of them were very attractive and very nice as well. Some of them were downright creepy. However, I wasn't single and had no desire to date anyone other than the person I was with. Yes, in New York you have people of all financial brackets all around you. But also because of that - you kind of become desensitized to that - unless that is all you care about. Datafeed - money and looks are very important to you. You have made that clear from your posts. So you were in New York for a little while and you probably only paid attention to the people that had lots of money or were models. Well - that's only a small percentage of the people in New York. New York may be a big city and it may have more than it's share of rich and attractive people (which is still not the majority) but it still has a lot of real people looking for real love - and finding it.
Good post.
Although your assumptions about me are facile at best, you concede that some of those who work supporting the epicenter of the world's financial capital are well educated, rich, nice, look good and were attempting to sleep with you. There are tens of 1000s of these types in Manhattan. No they are not the majority, but there are thousands of them parading around and some women find them desirable. Not you...but many women do.
So my point is proven: you, an average looking but decent and faithful woman had many rich guys trying to date you in NYC. Imagine if a hot, slutty, and uneducated woman had entertained their advances. Didn't you mention that a man ferried you around Manhattan in limo, fly you up from New England, and put you up in a nice hotel for a weekend and did not expect anything sexual from you. Most people in the US don't have that kind of money to spend simply trying to woo a woman.
The whole idea of dating up or down is silly. So are "leagues" and rating people with numbers. We are more than numbers. There are no leagues. And if two people are compatible and love each other - then neither one is dating up or down. If I had gone out with one of the rich guys who asked me out - I would not think that I was dating up or that they were dating down. I wouldn't date someone who was interested in my solely for my looks and I wouldn't date someone solely for their looks. Money makes no difference to me. I'm a college educated, funny, smart, attractive woman. I would never think that someone would have been "dating down" by dating me.
Although your assumptions about me are facile at best, you concede that some of those who work supporting the epicenter of the world's financial capital are well educated, rich, nice, look good and were attempting to sleep with you. There are tens of 1000s of these types in Manhattan. No they are not the majority, but there are thousands of them parading around and some women find them desirable. Not you...but many women do.
So my point is proven: you, an average looking but decent and faithful woman had many rich guys trying to date you in NYC. Imagine if a hot, slutty, and uneducated woman had entertained their advances. Didn't you mention that a man ferried you around Manhattan in limo, fly you up from New England, and put you up in a nice hotel for a weekend and did not expect anything sexual from you. Most people in the US don't have money to spend simply trying to woo a woman.
Um... no. I have no idea what you what you are talking about. I lived in Manhattan. And I never dated anyone like what you are describing. I don't know who you are thinking of but it's not me.
And I don't consider myself an average looking but decent and faithful woman. That's actually quite insulting. I might have my own issues with my looks - but I've always been a head turner. And I'm more than decent.
The whole idea of dating up or down is silly. So are "leagues" and rating people with numbers. We are more than numbers. There are no leagues. And if two people are compatible and love each other - then neither one is dating up or down. If I had gone out with one of the rich guys who asked me out - I would not think that I was dating up or that they were dating down. I wouldn't date someone who was interested in my solely for my looks and I wouldn't date someone solely for their looks. Money makes no difference to me. I'm a college educated, funny, smart, attractive woman. I would never think that someone would have been "dating down" by dating me.
the whole "league" idea is seldom the result of a deliberate or conscious thought process. no one actually thinks in their head, "i'm a 7, he/she is an 8, therefore i will/won't date him/her". however, most desirable persons have an innate sense of their market value and will act to maximize the return for anything they put out. in fact, they dont even need to have such knowledge, because success in dating has usually been easy for them for most of their lives anyway. with that comes the confidence to pursue mates of their choosing, not just those that are immediately available to them.
this is precisely the reason why many guys dont develop real confidence around women until much later than women do, because they've had to work much harder at it than the ladies.
Last edited by ElysianEagle; 12-04-2011 at 07:44 PM..
The whole idea of dating up or down is silly. So are "leagues" and rating people with numbers. We are more than numbers. There are no leagues. And if two people are compatible and love each other - then neither one is dating up or down. If I had gone out with one of the rich guys who asked me out - I would not think that I was dating up or that they were dating down. I wouldn't date someone who was interested in my solely for my looks and I wouldn't date someone solely for their looks. Money makes no difference to me. I'm a college educated, funny, smart, attractive woman. I would never think that someone would have been "dating down" by dating me.
and herein lies the problem: I doubt that you are truly humorous, are more intelligent than other women of your background, and possess anything more than average looks.
Everyone thinks they are special but in reality, in relation to the norm, most of us are just average;however, we have to tell ourselves that we are beautiful, interesting, and a cut above the rest...it's just not true.
you dewdrop are special to your yourself and hopefully to your husband... and that's all that matters.
REAL attractive men don't have to do much, because women ALWAYS send hints that they're interested in some way. It's obvious these "nice guys" have no real game and/or are socially awkward. Most women can "sense" this and of course, you talk to the guy who is "comfortable" talking to women.
Fleeing to another state to find the fantasy "good woman" won't change anything. Unless they have exceptionally low self esteem or are chicks that need a green card, regular normal women won't want you either.
Um... one poster just made a comment about knowing a guy who moved from NYC to Columbus and found a wife there.
and herein lies the problem: I doubt that you are truly humorous, are more intelligent than other women of your background, and possess anything more than average looks.
Everyone thinks they are special but in reality, in relation to the norm, most of us are just average;however, we have to tell ourselves that we are beautiful, interesting, and a cut above the rest...it's just not true.
you dewdrop are special to your yourself and hopefully to your husband... and that's all that matters.
To be honest, I don't really care what you think about me. Judging by your dating history - we basically have nothing in common and do not share common goals or values. All I can say is that dating was always very easy for me, I've dated who I wanted, and I married who I wanted. I was engaged 3 times before I found my true love - so obviously my husband wasn't the only guy that thought I was a cut above the rest. So you can keep on putting me down - but it really makes no difference to me.
Um... no. I have no idea what you what you are talking about. I lived in Manhattan. And I never dated anyone like what you are describing. I don't know who you are thinking of but it's not me.
And I don't consider myself an average looking but decent and faithful woman. That's actually quite insulting. I might have my own issues with my looks - but I've always been a head turner. And I'm more than decent.
my bad, i got you confused with someone else.
if the pictures on that profile are of you it is of an average woman...not a head turner by any objective definition of the word except your own ...but so what..who cares?
everyone can't be beautiful; we should cease with these self-delusions.
FYI, I am not putting you down. Please don't think I am. I am glad that you are happy and were able to marry the man that you truly wanted.
In Manhattan you have many average and below average women thinking they are beautiful and more desirable than they are.
the whole "league" idea is seldom the result of a deliberate or conscious thought process. however, most desirable persons have an innate sense of their market value and will act to maximize the return for anything they put out. in fact, they dont even need to have such knowledge, because success in dating has usually been easy for them for most of their lives anyway. with that comes the confidence to pursue mates of their choosing, not just those that are immediately available to them.
this is precisely the reason why many guys dont develop real confidence around women until much later than women do, because they've had to work much harder at it than the ladies.
I don't know - I've always thought that anyone can get anyone they want if they just believe in their own worth. I've never thought about dating in terms of leagues - I just dated who I wanted to. Isn't that what most people do? It just makes sense to me.
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