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It is irrelevant what you "buy" or believe. Many people believe incorrect things and disbelieve correct things. A fact is a fact. Use logic for a moment:
Think in terms of proximity and the demographics of certain career types that gravitate towards NYC.
Look at a trading floor and what do you see? What you will see is Alpha men, with quant degrees from very good schools and normally equally as good grad schools. These men are normally young and, quite frankly rich. There are very few women on the trading floor. So who do they date? Unnhuh...and remember, a guy is a guy, he will sleep with most anything not repulsive.
They date their own, just like the vast majority. If he's a good looking, educated man then he's dating a beautiful, educated woman. If he's lacking in some way, then he's dating a woman that is lacking in some way. And many men will not sleep with almost anything because they simply do not have to - just like women.
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There is still no exact parity with men and women in the higher level workplace--many highly educated women drop out to raise a family or just don't climb the ladder as successfully as men do.
Some do, the majority do not. Career minded women put their children in day-care. You can review census for that information. The vast majority of professional women do not take more than 6 mo maternity leave. The vast majority of women who leave the workforce are not professionals. Yes, there are exceptions, they're jut not the norm according to census.
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Second, to reiterate again: proximity or access. When people are put in close proximity to each other they interact, date, and mate. Mahattan is truly a cosmopolitan city. Millionairess, billionaires, and welfare reciepeints all rub shoulders on a daily basics.
Of course proximity rules. What I'm saying is that proximity is not about your sever. It's about your people.
OP can I asked you a question? Why did you post this thread in two places? (It's posted in the NYC forum too.) Not to be disrespectful but I had no idea you could do that.
he might not actually date the waitress, but you'd be naive to think that a wealthy guy that had the chance to hook up with a young, attractive bartender/waitress would pass on the opportunity simply because of her economic status.
I think people are sexing all day, every day. Unless this guy is a complete balding, fat buffoon there is no reason to start looking at the person serving your coffee, cutting your hair, shining your shoes, etc. Most people meet (for relationships) in school, at work, via friends, and at social gatherings. That's the norm. There is something wrong with you if you have to leave your social circles and culture to hook up.
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one of my previous roommates was a sales associate barely making $50K a year, but was dating a guy that ran his own hedge fund and they were together for a number of years.
if the pictures on that profile are of you it is of an average woman...not a head turner by any objective definition of the word except your own ...but so what..who cares?
everyone can't be beautiful; we should cease with these self-delusions.
FYI, I am not putting you down. Please don't think I am. I am glad that you are happy and were able to marry the man that you truly wanted.
In Manhattan you have many average and below average women thinking they are beautiful and more desirable than they are.
I think you need a lesson in what it means to put someone down. I'm done here. I just had a baby and am feeling a little down about my looks. I certainly don't need someone going on and on about how average I am. I'm an actress. And usually I am a head turner - despite what you think. If I wasn't a head turner - I wouldn't have turned so many heads - literally. I never asked you to look at my pics - most of which I posted to show my silly side. I wasn't trying to win any beauty contests. At least now I've learned to keep my profile on private.
My whole point was that New York has all kinds of people - just like everywhere else.
All I can say is that dating was always very easy for me, I've dated who I wanted, and I married who I wanted. I was engaged 3 times before I found my true love - so obviously my husband wasn't the only guy that thought I was a cut above the rest.
dewdrop, you should really consider yourself very lucky . i've heard it said before that true happiness comes not from getting what you want, but wanting what you get. perhaps you're among the privileged in the sense that this is in fact the reality of your life, or maybe you're just really attractive; i don't know.
i do know, however, that for many people (myself included), the choices are in fact limited, and we rarely, if ever, get to date exactly the kind of person we'd like to be with. just life, i guess. no woman i've ever been with was my #1 choice or even close, and i'm beginning to wonder if i'll ever be so lucky as to experience what that feels like. i'm not even talking abt a relationship, i'd be perfectly happy just to hook up with such a lady for just once in my life. it hasn't happened yet and i doubt it ever will.
OP can I asked you a question? Why did you post this thread in two places? (It's posted in the NYC forum too.) Not to be disrespectful but I had no idea you could do that.
dewdrop, you should really consider yourself very lucky . i've heard it said before that true happiness comes not from getting what you want, but wanting what you get. perhaps you're among the privileged in the sense that this is in fact the reality of your life, or maybe you're just really attractive; i don't know.
i do know, however, that for many people (myself included), the choices are in fact limited, and we rarely, if ever, get to date exactly the kind of person we'd like to be with. just life, i guess. no woman i've ever been with was my #1 choice or even close, and i'm beginning to wonder if i'll ever be so lucky as to experience what that feels like. i'm not even talking abt a relationship, i'd be perfectly happy just to hook up with such a lady for just once in my life. it hasn't happened yet and i doubt it ever will.
I do consider myself very lucky! I tell that to my husband every single day! And I must be among the privileged since Datafeed has informed me that I'm not attractive.
All I can say is this - don't give up. It doesn't matter how long it takes to find the right person because when you find them - all the sweat and tears are worth it. You might have to date a ton of different people to find the right person - but it's worth it in the end.
dewdrop, you should really consider yourself very lucky . i've heard it said before that true happiness comes not from getting what you want, but wanting what you get. perhaps you're among the privileged in the sense that this is in fact the reality of your life, or maybe you're just really attractive; i don't know.
i do know, however, that for many people (myself included), the choices are in fact limited, and we rarely, if ever, get to date exactly the kind of person we'd like to be with. just life, i guess. no woman i've ever been with was my #1 choice or even close, and i'm beginning to wonder if i'll ever be so lucky as to experience what that feels like. i'm not even talking abt a relationship, i'd be perfectly happy just to hook up with such a lady for just once in my life. it hasn't happened yet and i doubt it ever will.
Aww now I feel sorry for you. I hope you get what you want.
I don't know - I've always thought that anyone can get anyone they want if they just believe in their own worth. I've never thought about dating in terms of leagues - I just dated who I wanted to. Isn't that what most people do? It just makes sense to me.
please read what you wrote and tell us if you still support this position. anyone can get whoever they want if they believe in them self?
maybe, as the op wrote, you self selected! you did not approach "The Don" at the cocktail party because you know he dates Eastern European model types nor did you approach vinny the sanitation engineer--nothing against Mr. Trump or Mr. Vinny
You likely subconsciously self-selected a man within your own socio-economic+ appearance circle.
If you went too high you would be rejected or too low you would not be satisfied. I think regardless of the bs verbiage we spew about how great we are, we want to minimize rejection and maximize our value thus most of us aim for folks within our peer group or slightly above.
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. i've heard it said before that true happiness comes not from getting what you want, but wanting what you get. perhaps you're among the privileged in the sense that this is in fact the reality of your life, or maybe you're just really attractive; i don't know.
I hope you get what you want.