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The women who have something going for them in NYC--look good, well educated, and have good jobs--are very spoiled. I think their expectations are immense and yes, there are 1000s of ideal men in Manhattan who have it all--corporate attorneys and investment bankers who are pedigreed, attractive and monied.
And because these men are out and about in the Manhattan area the women all think these types of men are within their reach even if they themselves are not on the level of said men.
Women are silly in thinking that because a guy will date her or sleep with her (one of many likely) that they are entitled to these tier 1 men.
NYC is not for the faint of heat. It's the big leagues and you had better have your siht together if you wanna play with the big boys.
Your best bet is to date another student, because you can't afford to go to toe-to-toe with the former capt of Princeton's crew squad who looks like he stepped out of an Ambercrombrie and Finch catalogue and had a 7 figure bonus last quarter.
In NYC if you want hot women you need to date immigrants or ethnic minorities from ethnic enclaves as they don't have Manhattan type expectations.
by far the most insightful and honest post in this thread! this has 100% been my experience here as well.
NYC (specifically manhattan) really is top of the line in terms of competition, especially for the guys. there is no shortage of men that have it together not just in the looks department but also in terms of wealth (most of them come from wealth, however there are many that are self made as well), so if you're a guy, get ready to bring it.
many of the women will certainly be "pumped and dumped" by several such guys during their 20s (i see this go down ALL AROUND me here), and then, when they hit their late 20s, they'll freak out and tone down their expectations. just the way it goes...
i would also encourage the OP to take DataFeed's suggestion: try finding women outside of manhattan (or even better, at school) if you can, you'll likely have a much easier time.
Simple. It's because women are shallow and hypergamous. Quantify that x100000 for New York and Los Angeles.
In this town, a 25 year old woman could be dirt poor with no ambition and the man would still have to earn six figures, have a masters, AND be better looking in order to so much as fathom even looking at her.
Of course, the positive side effect of this is that men don't have to compete at all--the women are doing their work for them.
A positive point about NYC is that the city is so diverse, bountiful, and densely populated that exceptions to the rules, while statistically minute, are numerically quite possible. You could meet the coolest, prettiest, most interesting person during your medical school's inaugural orientation mixer at a bar in hell's kitchen and never leave each other's sides.
The above poster is correct about the top of the line men--all but a few were born on 3rd base and simply managed to stagger without falling to home plate.
What surprised me is the number of men born on 3rd base who are loaded, 43, and have accomplished nothing whatsoever. Trust fund louts. These men have fat bank accounts--and some of them actually get an allowance from their parents--and fancy titles on business cards but do absolutely nothing.
Having realistic expectations are key to navigating NYC. The women will ask you where you went to college, grad school, and where you work. If you are hanging out in places where you feel that your answers are not sufficient it's best to find a new hang out place as most of these people will be coolly dismissive of you if you don't meet their standards.
Geez people. New York is just a different city. Not a different planet. I don't think I'm a different species of woman simply because I'm a New Yorker.
Geez people. New York is just a different city. Not a different planet. I don't think I'm a different species of woman simply because I'm a New Yorker.
From a guy who's lived in the midwest his entire life, Cities like LA and New York are very much a different planet in about every way possible.
From a guy who's lived in the midwest his entire life, Cities like LA and New York are very much a different planet in about every way possible.
I can understand the city itself being very different - it's huge, dense, and like no other place on earth. But I'm from Los Angeles, went to college in Michigan, and have lived in New York since then. I've met wonderful people every place that I've lived in. Kindred spirits are everywhere, in my opinion.
She is saying that because of all the options women have, they tend to not stay in relationships long, they are always looking for someone better and the more attractive she is,
If there is a surplus of women, how can they have options?
Its okay to want somebody you find attractive but to say that you are only referring to "attractive" women means that you have defined it for all people.
Did you not know that people can think for themselves? Maybe that is the problem these single women have in NYC.
Oh, about the article and wanting a drama free man. What I want is a drama free man who knows how to deal with the drama. Now that is more like it.
I've read all the post on city data about dating in New York. I've read all the magazine as well as city data articles and books about how easy it is for men and hard it is for women to date in New York. How there are suppose to be so many women that most men do want to just be with one woman -though these articles never say if most of these surplus of women are attractive or not-.
But my question is for the women of New York regarding women in the 25-32 age range. Are women in that age group interested in long-term relationships? I'm from the midwest and the whole hookup, one night stand, and casual dating/friends with benefits isn't something I'm interested in. I'm about to graduate college and I'm looking to attend medical school in New York. While researching New York dating, I ran across this article Dear Single Women of NYC: It's Not Them, It's You. - Page 1 - News - New York - Village Voice
It's long so you don't have to read it. It's basically a woman giving another side to the reason a lot of women in New York are single. She is saying that because of all the options women have, they tend to not stay in relationships long, because they are always looking for someone better. I myself I'm handsome -at least I consider myself handsome, I do have a picture of myself on my city data profile-, I eat healthy, I workout, I'm funny, kind, sincere, and even though I'm not 6 feet tall, I'm still about average height 5'9.
But from reading this article I get the feeling that all this doesn't matter when compared to model handsome, playboy rich, 6 feet plus tall New York guys who are literally just around the corner.
I'm talking about attractive women not plain or average looking, over weight woman, straw stick too thin women.
Ahh, the 150,00 year old question: what women want. Ok, well, I'm in the OP's demographic for the question posed... Not single, but married and have been for many years...
Boys, these days you need to bring much more to the table. It's not like the 40's when women were 100% dependent on men because they only way out of their parents house was to marry the first guy who offered. These days women go to college, have careers, etc. If they're planning on making compromises in life in order to "settle down" it most certainly won't be with a man who is going to be a stone around her neck.
In short, women don't need men anymore- not even for having children. So what are men going to do to make themselves appealing to marry? This is where a lot of guys have trouble catching up with the times.
Are you a guy with a good job and upward mobility, the ambition to move up the career food chain for more money, know how to cook, clean, and be willing to change a few diapers and cook dinner if your wife is working late? If the answer is yes, than you just may be a catch and marriage minded ladies will be looking for you.
Are you a sloppy douchebag who doesn't do housework, can't cook a damn, employed in a dead end job but don't care to look for something better, and think that good sex is ejaculating after 3 strokes? Congratulations, no woman in her right mind would marry you unless she wants to be caretaker for an overgrown child who wants a vagina to ejaculate into.
Yes, career and money matters because bringing children into the world is a serious and costly thing. This isn't new people, this has been important ever since our hairy ancestors were doing the deed in the bushes.
Few women will marry a man who earns less than she does. Financial security is important because if she needs to temporarily leave full-time work to nurse a new born, she needs to know the man can AFFORD to carry the family through any rough times. Exceptions may be made if the woman is earning million, but the man has have some serious things to offer in order to be a "kept man" (I said I wanted bacon with my breakfast, that's right. And a mamosa and poached quail eggs with caviar... Can't whip that up? well than what good are you?)
To sum it up, women want men who can offer financial security not because they want to be rich, they just want to have kids without needing to pawn their engagement ring to get their kids a set of braces. Women are interested in men who are eager to share responsibilities like child-rearing, cooking, house-upkeep, etc. instead of the 1940's view of dumping it all on the woman's shoulders. Otherwise, she's better off looking for a sperm donor and being a single mother, instead of settling for a guy who is a lousy provider and a crummy husband.
edit: gold diggers and psychos aside, I think that goes without saying... NYC also attracts a lot of superficial idiots who want to transcend their base, vacuous and shallow existence by living in NYC for bragging rights looking for their mr. big. I'm not referring to those losers. Just stay away from them *******, a dime a dozen they are.
If there is a surplus of women, how can they have options?
Its okay to want somebody you find attractive but to say that you are only referring to "attractive" women means that you have defined it for all people.
The answer to you question has been iterated in previous posts but I will elucidate: the 5's want 7s and the 7s want 9s. These average women in NYC see a plethora of very desirable males and may on occasion be successful dating and bedding them. However, the more desirable males are playing the field and default to the average woman when the above average ones blow them off, or are busy, or are being too btichy.
So, because the man is "nice" and says the right things, the average woman believes that she is entitled to and has an honest chance with the man that's more desirable than she is. In fact she does not. By the time she realizes this she will be in her 30s and may be jaded. Some of these guys are juggling 1-3 primary dates and another 1-3 for the casual get together/sex acquaintes.
RE attractiveness: We are talking about desirability and exclusiveness in relation to the general population. Yes, my 220 pound aunt is attractive to my sloppy truck driver uncle. He thinks she is hot and loves her dearly...but you and I both know that is not what attractive means for the purposes of our conversation in NYC.
An tier one--I used to use numbers bit I got jumped on--male in NYC is an Ivy League MBA/JD, finance professional, who makes 700K per anum, is 32, and climbs Mt. Kilamejero during the summer. He played a varsity sport in college and now does triathlons to challenge himself. He eats healthy or certainly looks like he does...these guys have flat stomachs.
The answer to you question has been iterated in previous posts but I will elucidate: the 5's want 7s and the 7s want 9s. These average women in NYC see a plethora of very desirable males and may on occasion be successful dating and bedding them. However, the more desirable males are playing the field and default to the average woman when the above average ones blow them off, or are busy, or are being too btichy.
So, because the man is "nice" and says the right things, the average woman believes that she is entitled to and has an honest chance with the man that's more desirable than she is. In fact she does not. By the time she realizes this she will be in her 30s and may be jaded. Some of these guys are juggling 1-3 primary dates and another 1-3 for the casual get together/sex acquaintes.
RE attractiveness: We are talking about desirability and exclusiveness in relation to the general population. Yes, my 220 pound aunt is attractive to my sloppy truck driver uncle. He thinks she is hot and loves her dearly...but you and I both know that is not what attractive means for the purposes of our conversation in NYC.
An tier one--I used to use numbers bit I got jumped on--male in NYC is an Ivy League MBA/JD, finance professional, who makes 700K per anum, is 32, and climbs Mt. Kilamejero during the summer. He played a varsity sport in college and now does triathlons to challenge himself. He eats healthy or certainly looks like he does...these guys have flat stomachs.
There are 1000s of these type of men in Manhattan.
Again with the numbers!!! Geez!
Have you ever lived in New York? Because it doesn't sound like it. The thing with New York is that it isn't just one kind of city with one type of person. Every neighborhood has it's own feel. Every social circle has it's own feel. The kind of people you are describing may exist in one area but not in another. Union Square attracts a different crowd than Midtown. The upper east side and the upper west side are vastly different from Washington Heights and Inwood. If you give New York a chance - you will find your niche. That's what's so great about it.
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