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Have you ever lived in New York? Because it doesn't sound like it. The thing with New York is that it isn't just one kind of city with one type of person. Every neighborhood has it's own feel. Every social circle has it's own feel. The kind of people you are describing may exist in one area but not in another. Union Square attracts a different crowd than Midtown. The upper east side and the upper west side are vastly different from Washington Heights and Inwood. If you give New York a chance - you will find your niche. That's what's so great about it.
I think we need to draw some lines here because the attitudes described in this thread are mostly from MANHATTAN, and mostly WHITE women. It's a different animal.
If that's the crowd you want to attract or marry into, you got quite an uphill climb.
If you want a regular chick, stick with regular Brooklyn neighborhoods, for example.
It really does seem that only white people have these problems. I never hear black or spanish men complain about lack of options.
I will say that it seems that NYC white women are a major pain in the ass. I only date Latino women but I don't how many times I got a "weird" vibe from white women here after speaking with them.
Last edited by Goblue123; 12-04-2011 at 04:11 PM..
Guess what? Women in New York City are people, too. They aren't all spoiled, evil, horrible women. They can be funny, kind, smart, etc, - just like women in other places. Crazy, isn't it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cavaturaccioli
Blame 'Sex in the City', a show about three average looking women constantly in search something better. It has far too many women, especially in Manhattan, overestimating their drawing power.
While you can find women of all types in NYC, NYC is a 24/7 city that is always on the go. Yes, many women in NYC have an entitlement complex, but you will also find many "rich" women willing to sleep with "scrubs" because there is more of an acceptance of such behavior. All she has to do is say Well, he is good in bed and that is that. Unlike in a place such as LA, where her friends would never let her forget she slept with such a guy.
And this culture was long in place way before Sex and the City.
If there is a surplus of women, how can they have options?
Its okay to want somebody you find attractive but to say that you are only referring to "attractive" women means that you have defined it for all people.
Did you not know that people can think for themselves? Maybe that is the problem these single women have in NYC.
Oh, about the article and wanting a drama free man. What I want is a drama free man who knows how to deal with the drama. Now that is more like it.
well, i see two problems with this line of reasoning. for one, that data abt more women vs men in NYC is including a wige age range (20s all the way through 60s). but according to the information on this page below, at least in the 20s - 40s age range, men outnumber women in every major city in the US:
it's a very informative page, so please read it carefully. it doesn't account for the prevalence of homosexuality in males, however, so keep that in mind.
secondly - and this was alluded to by someone else earlier - most women (and men) are chasing the top 50% (likely less) of the opposite sex! so basically the excuse that "there are not enough men" (even if in absolute terms there really were fewer men than women) would only work if women were perfectly happy with whoever they could find. of course we all know this is seldom the case. everyone has a certain type that they like, and yes, despite there being individual differences in taste, these differences, when taken in the aggregate, are seldom sufficiently different so as to not lead to competition for eligible partners. in other words, people are really chasing after essentially a small subset of the opposite sex. add to this the fact that women are significantly pickier about their partners than men (i read somewhere that most women consider 80% of men unattractive), and you have the inevitable "shortage" so many women lament.
However, the more desirable males are playing the field and default to the average woman when the above average ones blow them off, or are busy, or are being too btichy.
So, because the man is "nice" and says the right things, the average woman believes that she is entitled to and has an honest chance with the man that's more desirable than she is. In fact she does not. By the time she realizes this she will be in her 30s and may be jaded. Some of these guys are juggling 1-3 primary dates and another 1-3 for the casual get together/sex acquaintes.
So exactly who are you trying to attract? The "bitchy" above average looking woman or the "entitled" average looking woman?
But in thinking about it further, I think they actually are.
But the thing is, it's not only a NYC or an attractive woman problem either.
It seems like everyone- man, woman, fat, skinny, attractive, average, rich, poor, tall, short, kind, mean... you name it -is really picky and critical.
And they're doing it everywhere.
I don't know if this is good or bad.
Regarding pickiness, I think if you want what you are then there's nothing wrong or picky about that. If you are an an attractive female, there is nothing wrong with wanting an attractive male, but if you are on the uglier side, you are just being picky if you wont date someone ugly. Beauty is the eye of the beholder, I get it...I'm attractive woman, but I am no supermodel and I don't expect to date a guy who is one either. I date a guy with looks comparable to mine. You have to strive for what you are capable of getting.
The same goes for like....if you are working at McDonalds or something, you should probably try to not look to date lawyers or something.
I think people just generally want someone similar to themselves.
I think we need to draw some lines here because the attitudes described in this thread are mostly from MANHATTAN, and mostly WHITE women. It's a different animal.
If that's the crowd you want to attract or marry into, you got quite an uphill climb.
If you want a regular chick, stick with regular Brooklyn neighborhoods, for example.
It really does seem that only white people have these problems. I never hear black or spanish men complain about lack of options.
I will say that it seems that NYC white women are a major pain in the ass. I only date Latino women but I don't how many times I got a "weird" vibe from white women here after speaking with them.
I think you're failing to account for cultural differences when it comes to courtship, and blaming it all on race instead. What works for small-talk to chat up a "babe" differs from culture to culture- some techniques are considered VERY rude once you cross cultural lines. IT is VERY rude, in my culture, to make any sexual innuendos or to make sexual desire plain. What a breath of fresh air it was when my future husband kissed my hand on our first date, as opposed to some jerks who couldn't keep their hands off my as after the first 5 minutes.
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