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My main point is this scenario is more desirable than continuous failure. Even though I'd never do it, marrying a foreign women is solution-based at its' core.
I don't disagree about the family thing. I also said their solution isn't foolproof. But it is better than sticking with the status quo.
I'm beginning to agree. I'm going to see how it goes once I get a job and really put more effort into dating. But if the last couple of years is any indication, I'd be better off doing the mail order bride thing. Actually, I would never do that, so I guess I have to be ok without the dream of a loyal wife and family.
You haven't proved anything wrong yet, especially anything I have said, or proved any of your own claims. All you can do is try to call people self-delusional with no evidence to back it up. You have the guy with the DUI post that chimed in for you so you took that and ran with it to try and prove your weak point. I have actual experience dating women...whereas...you have none. I have no DUI's or any sort of background at all, nor do I have any debt. You just flatout ignored my car analogy in regards to the hypothetical Thai woman. I don't blame you though...the analogy and difference cannot be disputed.
But how can you have success with women when you don't even like them? This is what I don't understand. For the men on here that talk about how much they hate American women - how can you expect to find love with something that you spew such hatred toward? All american women are vapid, materialistic, entitled, spoiled, etc. - why won't they go for me? It just doesn't make sense to me...
A man lives down the street from us who apparently has a mail-order bride. He's about 70, she appears to be from an Asian country and barely of legal age. I see them at restaurants and coffee shops around town and both look miserable. They never talk or even look at each other. Sometimes she's on a laptop and looks like a surly teenager. He walks and rides his bike--alone--in the neighborhood.
Be careful what you wish for. There are worse things than living alone.
Because if you read most of what Dewdrop said on pg. 16 she is right. they usually complain about women who don't make the first move, want to just stay home & care of kids but expect men to work, expect to be taken on dates where the men always pay. Those are all traits of women who are like the "grandmothers, aunts, etc." of the past. Suddenly, now that's what they want? No. IMO, I am probably closer to those traditional women with a few exceptions (I work, don't want kids, and am opinionated) then the majority of women I've come across IRL and trust me the men don't want this type of women anymore. So that's why I said it's B.S. if they're claiming that they do. So it seems to me women cannot win; if a woman is more traditional they don't want that but if she is outgoing, head strong, independent -- they don't want that either.
But how can you have success with women when you don't even like them? This is what I don't understand. For the men on here that talk about how much they hate American women - how can you expect to find love with something that you spew such hatred toward? All american women are vapid, materialistic, entitled, spoiled, etc. - why won't they go for me? It just doesn't make sense to me...
You know, thats a good point. I'm sure I come off that way. I'm cynical after my divorce, and from what I can see of the dating world today, most of those adjectives are a fit. So the goal is to find that needle in a haystack kind of woman. Well, I thought I had that, hence why I got married. I was wrong and now I'm hesitant and understandably have some trust issues with women. But I don't hate them. I'm trying very hard to hold out hope that the woman for me must be out there somewhere.
So - men want women to be more like the women of past generations? So, men want women to not make the first move, expect all their dates to be paid for, expect the man to open doors for her, expect flowers, not have their own career, stay at home and raise the children, do all the housework or hire a maid, etc.? Is that what men are looking for? Because it seems to me that men these days are complaining that women don't make the first move often enough. It seems to me that they don't want to pay for dates or open doors for women. It seems that they don't want an old fashioned woman. Oh - except when it comes to being subservient. Oh - they want a subservient woman who asks them out and pays for the dates.
So - what I'm getting is that the grass is always greener. All of today's American women are evil - but the past generations were saints - and all foreign women are hot, subservient, and will basically marry anyone who asks them.
Good morning,
Yes, socially, both sexes want the other to be like past generations in the ways you mentioned. The only difference is men don't enforce any past relationship etiquette but many women do. That's the men's fault, by the way.
The men who don't want to pay for anything, open doors, etc are still a minority. If they were a majority, social society would be equal and threads with their complaints would not exist.
To answer your question: the men who want subservient women do so because society (generally speaking) still requires traditional male responsibilities in most social situations, including much of what you listed (dates, flowers, etc). Yes, women work, but generally the man is expected to make more money, ask the woman out, pay for most things during the relationship, ask her hand in marriage, etc. Sure there are exceptions, so those anecdotal folks need not come out of the woodwork in response.
The threads complaining about women requiring chivalry in an equal society is due to the nature of why chivalry existed in the past. Those reasons do not exist anymore since women are now equal. It was a humbling of one's self based towards women due to their natural higher position in society.
Personally, I'm fine with the status quo today because I benefit from it. I don't practice chivalry unless it's with a woman who reciprocates, and society won't pressure me into doing so. But I'm not the men represented in this thread, since I don't have problem with women and have no desire to marry.
This solution is completely delusional and the rationale is cockamamie. That lack of reason is a turn off. Be clear on that.
How so? Are you saying that if you were in their shoes and couldn't meet anyone, tried improving yourself, and were still unmarried by a certain age, you wouldn't consider all options available? I know many men and women who are getting up in age and have still fallen short after best efforts to improve their situation.
I see this as no different from an aging woman who wants children and decides to use a sperm donor.
You know, thats a good point. I'm sure I come off that way. I'm cynical after my divorce, and from what I can see of the dating world today, most of those adjectives are a fit. So the goal is to find that needle in a haystack kind of woman. Well, I thought I had that, hence why I got married. I was wrong and now I'm hesitant and understandably have some trust issues with women. But I don't hate them. I'm trying very hard to hold out hope that the woman for me must be out there somewhere.
Some of your posts on here have expressed some hatred toward women - I'm not going to sugar coat that. However - on your thread about coffee dates - some of the sunshine came through and it was really great. Honestly - I think if anyone wants to have success in love, they have to get rid of the anger first. People can sense that. And if you are constantly looking for the negatives - you probably won't be disappointed. For me - it's sort of like when I'm talking to someone really religious, I can usually tell if they are actively thinking that I'm a bad person because I'm not religious. Some of them are thinking this - some of them aren't. Why would I want to spend my time with someone that is prejudiced against me simply because my beliefs are different than theirs? Why would a woman want to spend time with a man that is prejudiced against her simply because she's a woman. Just something to think about.
This being said - I GENUINELY hope for the best for you. I'm not trying to beat you down - I'm just trying to help. Getting rid of anger is a really hard thing to do - but at the end of the day, the only person that is hurt by that anger is you. I've carried anger with me, too. It's not a good way to live.
We both know that situation is the exception rather than the rule, I've heard many women say(including many on this forum) they would never "marry down". Now that may be more of a age thing. I do think as women get older they get more desperate and the do "marry down". But to say all women are open to men regardless of their income or how they look as long as they're a "nice guy" is just not honest.
Exactly...I'm amazed so many on this forum act like we're making this stuff up or something. I already have plenty of examples. I've been on a ton of first dates where women basically proved to me the main thing they were worried about is money. I went to a speed dating event once in Pittsburgh and every single one of the women I was matched with spent the majority of our time together asking questions trying to figure out my financial status.
You know, thats a good point. I'm sure I come off that way. I'm cynical after my divorce, and from what I can see of the dating world today, most of those adjectives are a fit. So the goal is to find that needle in a haystack kind of woman. Well, I thought I had that, hence why I got married. I was wrong and now I'm hesitant and understandably have some trust issues with women. But I don't hate them. I'm trying very hard to hold out hope that the woman for me must be out there somewhere.
Well at least you can admit this; I am the same way in some respects, albeit, for different reasons than yours. I hope you find the woman you're looking for.
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