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Is it still possible to find someone and get married at the age of 30?
Surely you jest. Most people have no business getting married BEFORE the age of 30! You are wise to not have married before then. People change more between the ages of 20 and 30 that at any other time of their lives.
And 80% of women are not married by the age of 30. That's not an accurate stat. According to the census stats, 67% of women HAVE been married by the age of 30 but at least half of those are divorced.
Don't beat yourself up, OP. I am similar to you but I'm a lot more comfortable with it than you seem to be. If still single by 30, unmarried and childless, what kind of life can you really build with someone? Good question, one which I ask myself all of the time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman
What were you doing during your 20s that you couldn't find a wife?
I don't mean to thread jack but for me, after a break-up of a "longish" relationship which consumed my late teen years to early 20s, I was dealing with a wicked economy and looming layoffs which made it almost impossible to attempt dating when for years I didn't know if I would be able to keep my job. Then after all of that going on watching your friends get divorces and seeing how many women reacted to a man's job loss (through no fault of his own), it makes it harder to be open to marriage if you haven't done it already. Marriage, after all, is supposed to be the good and the bad. Also, can't really promise some girl a bunch of stuff with that going on as I'm not a shyster dufus. Really unfortunate as those were prime dating years.
That's what I was doing during my 20s. Not that I didn't try or want to at certain points, but there was just too much going on to focus on it.
OP, you might be able to find a career girl who spent most of her 20s getting established and so she doesn't have children and possibly has never been married.
But I feel your pain, OP, maybe VD had you re-thinking your life. It definetely had that effect on me. Do you go out and do the things that you enjoy it? Have you thought of online dating? If does not work for everybody and I must warn you: If you do not have a tought skin, don't go there. People lie, are mean, you get a lot of dissapointments, but as LovesMountain said, it's all about attitude. I KNOW my perfect man is out there, I just have not met him yet
Yes I have tried online dating for about a year. Went out and met about 3 women in that time span. Each one time meeting. I don't like online dating much and then you have to pay for using the site. I tried Match.com. Total waste.
Women on those sites seem to have way too high of expectations too, which I just can't deal with. I'm a person not some perfectly made man. I'm just a man looking to find a life partner. I can't fit all of most those women's criteria. Absolutely crazy.....
Surely you jest. Most people have no business getting married BEFORE the age of 30! You are wise to not have married before then. People change more between the ages of 20 and 30 that at any other time of their lives.
And 80% of women are not married by the age of 30. That's not an accurate stat. According to the census stats, 67% of women HAVE been married by the age of 30 but at least half of those are divorced.
I've always encouraged my sons to wait until at least 30 to even consider getting married - so far so good
Don't beat yourself up, OP. I am similar to you but I'm a lot more comfortable with it than you seem to be. If still single by 30, unmarried and childless, what kind of life can you really build with someone? Good question, one which I ask myself all of the time.
I don't mean to thread jack but for me, after a break-up of a "longish" relationship which consumed my late teen years to early 20s, I was dealing with a wicked economy and looming layoffs which made it almost impossible to attempt dating when for years I didn't know if I would be able to keep my job. Then after all of that going on watching your friends get divorces and seeing how many women reacted to a man's job loss (through no fault of his own), it makes it harder to be open to marriage if you haven't done it already. Marriage, after all, is supposed to be the good and the bad. Also, can't really promise some girl a bunch of stuff with that going on as I'm not a shyster dufus. Really unfortunate as those were prime dating years.
That's what I was doing during my 20s. Not that I didn't try or want to at certain points, but there was just too much going on to focus on it.
OP, you might be able to find a career girl who spent most of her 20s getting established and so she doesn't have children and possibly has never been married.
BudgetLord,
You describe my situation pretty spot on man. Unstable economy. Just taking a job to have job. It's tough out there. And money/job plays a big role in if a woman would take interested in you. They want financial stability. I have a job right now, but def not a career. And it doesn't look to good for the future either.
I was just wondering what anyone's opinon would be of a male that is almost 30 years old who is not married and single. Is it still possible to find someone and get married at this age. I almost feel like I missed my chances in my 20's. Where did the time go? Thing is I'm not very aggressive in trying to find a partner. I would like to find someone, but feel like a lot of time has passed and most people in my age range from say 25-30 are married or very close to it. It's almost like there are no young girls that are single anymore. It's tough to find someone that fits my criteria and is still single.
Should I feel bad about this at this point in my life?
If gets me down a great deal of the time. I always find people asking me if I am married and/or have kids. And they seemed shocked that I am not/give me a hard time about it. Makes me feel like sh@it.
I def did not follow the cookie cutter lifestyle as most do. I'm pretty independent I guess you could say.
Just wondering if there is hope. I'm a normal guy and find that people seem to think of me as attractive, but I just don't know.
Is that part of life over for someone in this situation? I mean no more dating..and just living life solo until death?
Very, very discouraged with the situation.
Thanks for your opinions.
It often depends on where you live. In small towns people tend to get married fairly young. I live in a large city. There are plenty of women in their 30's that have never been married.
You describe my situation pretty spot on man. Unstable economy. Just taking a job to have job. It's tough out there. And money/job plays a big role in if a woman would take interested in you. They want financial stability. I have a job right now, but def not a career. And it doesn't look to good for the future either.
Oh God I can't stand it
I had high hopes at the beginning of this thread that you might actually be someone truly looking for help and advice.
But no, you're just another one of those guys who show up here wanting only to whine and make excuse after excuse for not having what you want in life.
Like I said in my first post, failure to learn and accept the truth about yourself and your attitude will come with consequences.
But that IS your choice, one I would personally kick my own son's asses over if they were to be this negative and whiny.
I had high hopes at the beginning of this thread that you might actually be someone truly looking for help and advice.
But no, you're just another one of those guys who show up here wanting only to whine and make excuse after excuse for not having what you want in life.
Like I said in my first post, failure to learn and accept the truth about yourself and your attitude will come with consequences.
But that IS your choice, one I would personally kick my own son's asses over if they were to be this negative and whiny.
Huh? I am looking for help. I'm not whining I don't think, but I will admit that my job/career/money situation has not been strong. My entire 20's have been a pure struggle. Women do not find this attractive if you don't have your stuff together. I admit I have tried a bunch of diff jobs and none have worked out that well up to this point. So I guess im saying I'm a bit unstable and still don't know what to do with the life that I have been given. I may never find out. That's just being realistic/honest not feeling sorrry for myself.
I am trying to either accept my fate and accept my situation for what it is or just figure maybe I'm not cut out for relationships/marriage. Not sure yet though.
I am trying to either accept my fate and accept my situation for what it is or just figure maybe I'm not cut out for relationships/marriage. Not sure yet though.
"accepting my fate" makes it sound like you're a victim who doesn't have any control over your life. That's not the case.
My SO will be 40 shortly and has never been married. He told me the second time I saw him that it wasn't that he was too picky, he just hadn't found the right person that he wanted to commit to in that way. I am also almost 40, was married 9 years, and here I am divorced and in the dating world again, albeit in a relationship. When I got married at 29, I had no idea this is where I'd be in 10 years.
My SO dated many women met through online dating, because he had a time-consuming job and didn't have much free time to meet women any other way. If you don't like online dating, you're going to need to make time and efforts to participate in events and activities where you have an opportunity to meet people. You may not meet a woman at the specific activity, however, anyone you meet may have a friend, sister, daughter for you. Or maybe your friends and relatives know someone. That's how I met my SO...when I was least expecting it, at a friend's house.
If you're not online and not out and about, women aren't just going to come up and ring your doorbell. You are in charge of your destinyso it's up to you to make things happen. Best of luck.
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