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You seem to be having an issue with the fact you don't get to control the other members of the dating site. *They get to contact you, that is how it works.* You have admitted on here you don't put your requirements on your profile (not that they would necessarily read it), yet are annoyed that these men who are below your requirements contact you. *They cannot read your mind and realize you don't want them.* How 'bout stop getting annoyed that the so called "losers" are contacting you. Yes it is easy, you can choose not to be irritated with it. Either that, or stop using the dating site.
I met my now husband on the Internet, but not on a dating site. I met him on a music oriented message board. Amazing, but finding someone in a group of people with common interests worked out well. Now not only do I live in a music oriented area, I also have a group of friends like I've never had before. This, of course, required me to stop being such a "homebody" once I got here and get out and associate with people.
For the record, I never would have dated a man with children or who wanted children. I am childfree by choice. I don't care so much about education level, but I would not have dated someone who couldn't match me on an intelligent conversation level. Difference with me is I would not come on an internet website calling the men I didn't care for derogatory names. That is mean - even if done anonymously.
Not sure about the education thing but you can definitely filter men with children from contacting you..I did.
Oh wait, I see it! In the POF Edit Profile section, there is a question. "Would you date someone who has kids?" The options are "Yes", "No", and "I only date single parents." Currently, I have the question set to "Yes" because it depends on the circumstances.
Really? I'm looking at the mail settings page now and it's only showing me that you can filter based on:
Gender
Age
Distance
Type of relationship they're looking for
Current drug users/smokers
Married men
Men who have messaged others for sex
Even on Match, there is a mail filter where you can block men based on whether they want/don't want kids, but there's no option to filter out whether they currently have them which I think is dumb. Yes, you can specify that you aren't interested in dating men with kids on Match on your profile, but I'm referring to getting their messages automatically sent to filtered mail if they have kids. That option isn't currently there.
hmm..I remember having that option when I was on there. maybe they took taht away..weird.
Oh wait, I see it! In the POF Edit Profile section, there is a question. "Would you date someone who has kids?" The options are "Yes", "No", and "I only date single parents." Currently, I have the question set to "Yes" because it depends on the circumstances.
I'm not sure if it's a filter though. I changed the answer to "No" to see what would happen and it didn't show up as a requirement on my profile, so I wonder how the site even uses that answer. Maybe it'll just stop showing my profile to men with children.
Oh wait, I see it! In the POF Edit Profile section, there is a question. "Would you date someone who has kids?" The options are "Yes", "No", and "I only date single parents." Currently, I have the question set to "Yes" because it depends on the circumstances.
ha
after 32 pages.. the relevant facts come to light.
"Loser" is such a strong, hurtful word really. Taking into consideration that you're using it to label someone who is undesirable because they've made (what most people consider) mistakes in their life, it makes me wonder how many people think I'm a "loser" because of my relative lack of a social life (or in the OP's case, her own lack). When in fact, I'm actually a good-natured guy with plenty of positives. (as I'm sure the OP is as well)
I'm not sure if it's a filter though. I changed the answer to "No" to see what would happen and it didn't show up as a requirement on my profile, so I wonder how the site even uses that answer. Maybe it'll just stop showing my profile to men with children.
haha ya I don't remember the details...all I know is I wound up getting contacted by decent men which I was pleasantly surprised about, considering the site it is. I also think more men in my town use POF anyways, not sure why.
I understand your frustrations but you are going to get messages all kinds of men regardless of what you requirements are.
I use OKCupid and I won't message a girl if I don't meet her requirements.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
This is another online dating rant. Everytime I go on POF, I get angry. I don't know if it's just my city (I'm on the East Coast), but there seems to be a very large number of undesirable, bottom of the barrel type men on that site, and they keep sending me messages! The main things I notice on dating profiles are:
1. Photos
2. Age
3. Education
4. Does he have kids?
All four of these things have to be acceptable otherwise I am not interested. I'm routinely contacted by men who didn't go to college AND they have kids. Either of those things alone wouldn't be ideal, but put them together and it's much worse. I just don't understand why these guys think I'd even be interested in them considering that I'm a college educated professional woman with no children. I'm attractive and in shape and definitely not desperate enough to date them. They have absolutely nothing to offer me and I really wish they would stop wasting my time with their stupid, grammatically incorrect messages! Seriously, I just can't deal with it. I know that POF is the most popular free site and occasionally, I'll be contacted by a decent guy which is why I'm reluctant to leave the site altogether, but the majority of these men truly make me sick. I understand that not everyone is intelligent/fortunate/responsible enough to get a college degree or to not have kids out of wedlock, but they need to just focus on women on their own level and leave me alone. It's really ticking me off that I have to immediately block like 98% of the men who contact me on that site. I'd write this up in my profile, but I know I would just sound bitter and end up turning off the men who I do want, and these idiots who I don't want would still keep contacting me anyway.
Sorry if this offends anyone, but I'm fed up and this is how I feel. Has anyone else experienced this issue with POF? I know the site automatically allows you to block messages from certain users based on age, distance, etc., but I would really love it if they added filters for education level and parental status as well.
I use OKCupid and I won't message a girl if I don't meet her requirements.
I think this can be a mistake, too. Not everything is set in stone in those shopping lists.
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I'd write this up in my profile, but I know I would just sound bitter and end up turning off the men who I do want, and these idiots who I don't want would still keep contacting me anyway.